Here And Now is All That Matters
by Rubies and Diamonds
Summary: Made for each other or not, you can't shake the fact that something must have happened to make Lily change her mind, right?
1. Moving On

**A/N:** Hello lovely readers! How are you? This is my first Jily fic, which is strange, because of all the OTPness, but such is life. I hope you like it, because I think I want to carry it on, you know? I dunno, I started writing this because of many reasons, the main one being my ability to procrastinate like hell. Homework can be saved for a later date. If only we were assigned to write a 10,000 word fanfic, and I would probably do it. Maybe.

We'll see where it goes from here, I guess. Tell me what you think, if you don't mind?

**Disclaimer:** Every single thing is owned by Queen Rowling. I only wish I was her. All the fluffy stuff is mine. Some credit can be given to my playlist, too. How many ideas you can get from a cup of coffee and a Taylor Swift/Beatles track is insane.

* * *

-Chapter One-

Moving On

"Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon, everything is different." - Calvin and Hobbes

Had he heard right?

He couldn't have. Snape wouldn't have said that.

_But he had._

His eyes flashed to Lily for a second, and he saw an expression he hoped he would never, ever see the redhead wear again. The absolute hurt that crossed her face was unbearable. He faltered for a moment, so consumed with rage at the ugly, greasy boy. He waited for her reaction before doing anything drastic. The hurt he had seen seconds ago had vanished.

"Fine. I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash my pants if I were you, _Snivellus_." Nope, that wasn't enough punishment for what he had said.

"Apologize to Evans!" he yelled, pointing his wand at him, every curse and hex he knew sprinting through his mind.

"I don't want _you_ to make him apologize! You're just as bad as he is!" This caught him off guard. He was helping her, wasn't he? Doing the right thing?

"What?" his voice came off higher than he intended. "I'd NEVER call you a – you-know-what!"

"Messing up your hair because…" her voice trailed off, his thoughts consuming him. This had all gone wrong. Very, very wrong. This was the part where she ran over to him, thanking him for standing up for her, commenting on how brave and handsome he was, how she had secretly loved him since first year, and such. But instead, the angry redhead was yelling at him, telling him how much she despised him, and how little she thought of him "… You make me SICK." She turned and began walking away.

"Evans! Hey, EVANS!" He was about to chase after her, and see if she was okay, but thought better of it. He wasn't exactly Lily's favourite person at the moment. Well, neither was Snivellus, so what did it matter? Instead, he played up to the 'I-don't-care-she's-just-a-dumb-girl' act.

"What is it with her?" he suspected he wasn't doing an all too good job. Sirius answered him, sarcastically, as usual, and he changed his non-chalance into anger, which he directed at Snape.

"Right… Right," he flicked his wand, and the Slytherin went flying into the air, hanging upside down by his left ankle. "Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?" there was a round of laughter, and of groans, it was a sure fact no one wanted to see _that_ much of him. He couldn't help but notice the group of Lily's friends that had sat by the lake a few minutes ago had gone.

"Don't worry guys, I would never put you through that," he joked, addressing the group of fifth-years and others that had gathered around, as if it were a show of sorts. "It might be mortifying for Snivelly here, but it would probably scar the lot of you, too." He flicked his wand again, and Snape flew through the air, following wherever the wand pointed. Everyone found it rather amusing when he dunked him headfirst into the reedy lake.

When he had had his fill, he dropped the boy, at his feet this time, disarmed him so he wouldn't try anything, snarled, "Don't _ever_ use that word again. Not to Evans, not to Trice, not to _anyone_." He threw his wand back at him in disgust, and stalked off into the castle.

That prat. That arrogant, self-centered, _prat_. It was his fault Sev had said what he had said! If he wasn't outright bullying him, then he wouldn't have even… but still, that word should have even come to his mind. She was only trying to help! They were _best friends_. 'Were' being the operative here. Even if he was the scrawny little boy that she had met in the playground when they were nine, the one who told her she was a witch, she wasn't having him call her that.

"_I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her."_

The sentence ran around her head, emptying it from everything except itself.

"_... Filthy little Mudbloods like her."_

She could feel her chest tightening up, and a lump in her throat rising.

"…_Mudbloods like her."_

She was in the dormitory now, so crying was okay. She had about five minutes, she reckoned, before the others came to find her, so she let the hot, little tears fall freely onto her lumpy pillow. One of the first things Sev had told her is that being a witch with no particular wizarding background didn't mean anything. It was your talent that defined you, not your blood heritage. What a liar.

He had been acting funny for ages, ever since he starting hanging around with Mulciber and Avery. The two were both burly, scary sixth-years, with no real brains between them, but certainly enough brawl to make up for it. She had always complained about them, but he never listened. It was probably them filling his head with all this crap. He was a half-blood! His dad was just as much a muggle as hers. Bet he never told _them_ that. Bet he told them he was a wonderful pureblood from a wonderful lineage, his mother had come from the Prince's, a supposedly old, pureblood line and such…

The thought of him made her stomach clench uncomfortably. She was so hurt, so angry, just so…

A soft rap came from the door. "Lily, are you okay?" came a voice from behind it. "Can I come in?" she mumbled loudly, not even sure what she was meant to be saying, but the visitor took the sound as a yes.

"Aw, sweetheart," crooned the voice as she saw the ginger girl curled up on the four-poster bed. She closed the door behind her and made her way over to the large bed. Lily knew who had come to see if she was okay, and wasn't surprised it was she, really.

Alice Bones was an elder, sixth year Gryffindor, and was much like a mother hen to the six fifth-years that occupied the dormitory. Well, a mother hen to the four friends, the other two, not so much.

"You okay?" she asked again, stroking Lily's red mane. Her had gave a slight shake.

"Sweetie, don't listen to him." She began, "He's just up his own, and, to be honest, it's absolutely ridiculous he even used that word, since he's a half-blood himself!" Alice was very patient, very sweet, and _very _rarely flew off the handle. This, however, was an occasion she allowed herself to be mad. "He's got nothing you don't! He is _always_ second best to you, The Great Queen of all things Ginger, even with magical blood! It doesn't even matter! Git, he's just jealous because Slug-o gives you the attention, you can see it in his eyes he's just _dying_ for old Slughorn to give him the same treatment you have! Hell, he likes you more, and Snape's in his house! The slimy prat, don't worry, Frank will sort him out." The redhead could not stop herself from laughing at the thought. Frank Longbottom was a tall, skinny, rather nerdy sixth-year. He was also currently Alice's boyfriend. The thought of the two in a fight was hilarious.

"Hey! He could beat him up!" she defended weakly, giving in and laughing herself. The prefect rose from her fetal-like position and looked up at the girl.

Alice was very pretty, like a fairy. But really, everything about her did scream the word. She was a slender, petite, and pale girl. She had a sweet, circular face, with dazzlingly bright, almost amber eyes. Her perfectly shaped eyebrows contrasted well with her pale blonde hair, for they were a dark brown. Her spiky hair was cut short, like a pixie, and regularly gelled to stay even, for it had a knack for springing up, out of place, especially her fringe. She looked like a girl you just wanted to pick up and put in your pocket. She probably could fit, as well.

"Of course he could Alice." She added sarcastically, just to show her she was okay and was still able to be the cheeky girl she usually was, and that Snape's comment hadn't hurt as much as it really had. The elder didn't fall for it though.

"No, no, no. Don't get all snarky with me. I know you too well," she reminded her. "What kind of mother do you take me for?"

"A fake one, who is only a year older than us."

"Well, if I was your _real_ mother, would I be doing a good job? It's not easy looking out for you lot, you know!"

"This is what happens when you raise four teenage girls, Mum."

"Am I doing a good job though?" she pressed.

Lily pretended to think about it for a while. "Well, your okay," she let on, "but you haven't been as good to us as you ought. Remember in Second-Year when you yelled at us all because we came to find you, and you were under the stairs in the Entrance Hall making out with that Ravenclaw?"

"Not my finest moment of mother-hood, I will agree."

"Not you're finest." She repeated, with a small smile on her lips.

"Hun," the blonde began again, but the Prefect just gave her a look as to say, '_you don't have to'_. So she didn't, for her sakes. "I love you," she added, changing the route of her sentence.

"I know. Love you too," she sighed as though it was reluctantly said. But really, no one could _not_ help but love sweet little Alice Helena Bones.

The two embraced shortly, then the latter yelled out "GUYS! YOU CAN COME IN NOW!" which caused Lily to genuinely chuckle. She did love her friends.

Seven or so girls crammed into the room, all-rushing over to hug the girl in question.

No surprise, Bethany Colebrook got to her first. Bethany was her first friend here at Hogwarts, technically.

The two had met on the train, and even though she was sitting with the socially awkward Snape, she still slumped down next to her and said, "You're a ginger."

It was instant friendship, of sorts. Lily had returned the grin the other was proudly wearing, and said, "You're a brunette."

"Well, technically. But not for long!" she grinned wider.

Utter incomprehension emanated from her face.

"Watch!" she commanded as she screwed up her face and concentrated hard. Lily was beginning to think the poor girl mad. But she had been very wrong.

"Ta-dah!" she finished, as her hair changed color, from the deep, chocolaty brown it had been, to a bright, aqua blue. It had also grown several inches, and now reached her waist, curling into loose ringlets at the ends.

The ginger looked slightly stunned, whilst Snape's eyes carried on staring stonily in front of him.

"…Wow," was all she could think to say.

"Metamorphagus," she laughed, pointing to her head.

"Nothing really special," Lily replied, pointing to her own.

"Bethany May Colebrook, but you can call me Beth." She grinned as she held out a tiny hand.

"Lily Evans. But you can call me Ginger." She replied, taking her hand and shaking it.

The other nodded to herself. "I knew I was a good judge of character."

"What?"

"I knew I was a good judge of character," she repeated. "I knew I'd like you." she carried on, grinning that same wide, bright grin.

"_OI GINGER! WHAT WAS THAT?"_ the angry girl screeched at her best friend. _"WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TEMPER, HEY? WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE HIM ONE IN THE JAW?" _she glared viciously. Lily could only laugh at the girls red face, which contrasted awfully with her short evergreen bob she was sporting today.

"Don't you laugh at me, Evans!" she snapped.

"Sorry, Bumble," she muttered in response, grinning up at the angry girl.

"Shut up, don't go using your Third-Year nickname because you want me to forgive you. _I'm still mad_."

Bumble had been invented when the two had spent the summer together, and when Lily had also grown bored of calling her friend a plain and common nickname. She decided on shortening it further until it was just 'Bee', but obviously wasn't happy with the name she had thought up of. Still, it was better than calling her Beth along with everyone else. Then, on a random day they had been 'adventuring', they came across a bee's nest. Needless to say the simple 'Bee' Beth had acquired soon became 'Bumblebee', and then just 'Bumble', for the whole thing was rather a mouthful.

"I don't doubt it!" Really, the look in Beth's ever changing eyes –which were now a mysterious, dark shade of purple-, was rather frightening. Well, it would be to anyone who didn't know her as well as she did.

"_Why_ didn't you hit him? I don't understand!"

"Violence only leads to more violence."

"He's lucky Potter got a hold of him before I could," she growled.

Lily truly did love Beth.

"Stop fantasizing about killing Snape you psycho," a voice from behind her groaned. She shoved the pale, slender Metamorphagus out of her way.

"Lils, you okay?" the voice asked, this time standing in front of her. "I thought up of _so many_ terrible things to call him, but, me thinks I'll just stick with 'slimy, greasy, snot-nosed, ugly, ridiculous, pretentious, awkward, greasy-'"

"You said that already," the prefect interrupted.

"Well he is. Have you _seen_ that hair?" she made a look of disgust, and carried on with her list "-greasy, unhygienic, rude, bitter, arrogant, selfish, stupid, pathetic _TWAT._" She finished.

Lily rolled her eyes, but gave her friend a hug nonetheless. Serena Hinds was one of those girls you had to get to know well before she started acting normal around you. She wasn't shy or anything, she just liked to focus herself on her studies, and preferred to keep herself around people she trusted fully. It seemed she was close enough to everyone in the room to act like herself, or she wouldn't have moved Beth so forcefully, or listed profanities about a boy she hardly knew. The Prefect spluttered as the girl's straightened mane of dry and usually mad curly hair attacked her face.

"Sorry!" she muttered as she let go, running a hand through and securing it in a loose knot at the back of her neck. Lily just stuck out her tongue.

The rest of the visitors all came up to her in turn and listed all the things the could about why they hated Snape to no end, and no matter what ever he did, he would, from this day on, be a prat forevermore. The conversation slowly turned into one of boys in general, until they were all sick of every single one.

Mary MacDonald, a dainty, dark haired fifth-year, who gave off the appearance of a China doll, was the first to break out the Chocolate Cauldrons.

The poor girl who was currently with Reginald Cattermole, a seventh-year Hufflepuff, was again worried about the impending end of year. They had just finished their O.W.L.S, and that was as good as. It wasn't just an end of year for her though, because in this year her dear boyfriend would be leaving for the Ministry, to work in the Magical Maintenance Department.

She was thrilled for him, no doubt, but she was worried he would up and leave her for some older, sexier Ministry worker with curves and a license to Apparate. No matter how many times the girls told her that he would never do that, mainly due to the fact he doted over her like anything.

It was also common knowledge that she was way out of his league, for he wasn't that much of a looker, and his brains… Well, he was a Hufflepuff. That kind of comparison was saved for (if) the break-up period did ever come. Always save your best offence as a defense.

"But what if there's this one who _looks_ like me, but she smells better or something, or has a better chest, or…"

"Mare, love, hush. No girl here has ever tried to make a move on him-" Alice started.

"Because they know I'm with him!" she cried.

Beth snorted. "Trust me, with girls like Kitty in our school, I doubt they would care if you were married or not." She was known for not being Kitty Modrick's biggest fan.

"You think we need to get married? I'm fifteen!"

"Mary. Calm down. That boy loves you. He's not going to ditch you because some better offer came along. Now, if you're done depressing the rest of us single girls with the perfectness of your relationship, I'd like to carry on about how much I loathe that absolute git Fabian Prewett." Hestia grumbled.

"That sentence would be a whole lot more convincing if you didn't fancy the pants off him, McKinnon."

"Oh yes Marlene, because you don't want to shag my twin brother, which I do find extremely disturbing, since I have been your best mate since first year." She retorted to the pretty blonde girl sitting opposite her. The lot had made an almost-circle, spanning over two beds.

Marlene went beetroot red. "I don't!"

"_Course_ not," chimed in Serena.

"_Oh Cory, you have such amazing arms!_"

"_You must work out so much!"_

"_No one would ever tell you're related to Hestia! How did you get so good looking?"_

"Shut up, you slags."

"Love you too!" they all chorused.

Desperate to change the subject, the blushing blonde turned to Lily. "How's it going with Potter? Today marks your what, thousandth-time-asking-out-and-getting-shot-down-instantly anniversary?"

"I lost count after the first month," the redhead admitted. "But for a Wednesday it's going pretty good. He's only asked me, like, seven times so far. I just hope he caught on with the little speech."

"The squid one, the Hippogriff one, or the big-headed can't get off his broomstick one?" Alice laughed.

"Every single one I've ever dished out to him, the smug dick."

"Aw, ickle Lilykins, wouldn't you be upset if he ever did give up on you and went off to stalk another helpless girl?" Beth taunted.

"Please don't get my hopes up," she moaned. "But I would feel guilty for the poor girl."

"In all seriousness though Lily," she pressed.

"In all seriousness, I think you might have had some funny Cauldrons. I promise you guys now, that I will _never, ever_ go out with James Bloody Potter."

"Hear, hear!"

* * *

None of the girls were at dinner. Well, none that James particularly wanted to see. He scanned the room, his hand running nervously through his black mop.

_Stop it! _He thought. _Evans doesn't like it!_

She wasn't here, so what did it matter?

He couldn't kid himself.

He kept glancing furtively over at the double doors, waiting for the usual group that consisted of Lily and her friends. He wasn't planning on asking her out or anything. He just genuinely wanted to see if she was okay.

A few minutes later, the Sixth-Year, Marlene Brown, came through the doors. She didn't stay long; she just grabbed a few plates filled to the brim with assortments of the spread the house-elves had cooked up today.

He turned to his three friends sitting around him.

"Be back in a minute, yeah?"

He didn't wait for their reaction. Walking hurriedly to catch up to the blonde, he thought about how glad he was it was she and not Alice. Sure, she looked all sweet an innocent, but when you pissed off one of her friends or her, she would murder you without a second thought. Not literally of course, but Merlin, her glare was terrifying.

"Brown! Hey, Brown!" he called after her, as she climbed the stairs, levitating the plates.

"Potter?" she asked, not turning, so she wouldn't loose her focus on the mountains of food. She stopped walking.

Catching up to her, "Lot of food for a tiny thing like you, don't you think?" he asked.

"Shut up," she grumbled, rolling her eyes and continued walking.

"What?"

"No, I will not tell Lily something from you."

"How did you know I was going to ask?"

"You only speak to me if a) you want me to ask/tell Lily something from you, because she is more mad at you than usual, and your smart enough not to mess with her when she is in that mood, or b) you missed when the next Qudditch practice was, or you want to see if I will try some weird formation or ploy you thought up of. I usually know it's to do with Lily when you compliment me first. Hint, it doesn't warm us up to you. It makes us want to punch you in the face. From, every normal girl in my and Lily's dorm."

"…When you say 'normal', you mean the seven of you that never leave each other's side if possible?"

"Yes, precisely."

"How come it works with every other girl in the school but not you lot?"

"Because we aren't a bunch of hormonal bints," she stated coolly.

"That's not particularly nice, now is it?" he scolded.

"Nope. But, I never said I was." She turned to him. "Be seeing you, then." She saluted with her hand that didn't hold her wand, and walked over to the staircase, catching it just before it left.

"Is she okay though?" he called after her.

"Ask her later," she replied.

"Helpful." She didn't hear him, so he turned and retraced his steps back to the Marauders.

"So how is the lovely Miss Evans? Charmed you followed her over-eating friend to ask her about her, I'm sure?" was Sirius's greeting.

"Shut up, Padfoot."

"Oh, someone's grouchy. She pissed off with you? How _unreasonable_!"

"Don't make me hex you, mate."

"I'm just messing with ya, Prongs," he taunted, taking a large bite of the gargantuan chicken leg he was eating.

"Nice," complimented Remus sarcastically, raising his eyebrow at the display. Sirius winked at him dashingly as he swallowed.

"Don't worry about it, Prongs. She'll come 'round," was Peter's suggestion to the whole ordeal.

"Get a new line, mate."

"Sorry," he shrugged, turning back to his plate with gusto. He turned back to the other two, who were fighting over manners.

"-It's just that they are there for a reason!"

"But it's such an _effort_, Moony!"

"How you get girls, I will never know. They should be disgusted by your lack of-"

"_Jealous_, are we?"

"Sorry to interrupt the lovers quarrel here," James started. "But Wormtail is actually giving me better advice here," he gestured to the chubby boy, who looked up at the three, his mouth filled, gravy trickling down his chin. "I think you ought to be ashamed."

"…To be honest, mate, I don't know what to tell you."

"It's not that we don't care," Remus added quickly, defending Sirius's poor comment. "It's that we think you shouldn't really be complaining. You got rid of Snape, right? And that's a start, right?" he nudged the boy next to him.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, course, listen to Moony, he's always right." He rushed, returning to his meal.

"You think?"

"_Definitely_." They both said, effectively ending the conversation. Even with the assurance of his friends, he still didn't feel any better about today.

* * *

"Oi, lazy arses! Look what I brought!"

Greetings like this were common. You'd think that a load of girls calling each other sluts and whores and all other profanities would cause them all to send hexes every which way, but really it made them all just that bit closer. It was lovely when you reached that part in friendship where you could call the other a particularly offensive word and have them butt a worse one back. It was strange. But still, it was lovely at the same time.

Girls were weird.

"_Finally!_" cried Lily. She jumped up from her bed and pushed her way to the blonde with the plates of food. "DIBS THE PIE!" she yelled, before anyone could even open their mouths.

"Piss off, Ginge. I get some too!"

"Do one, Bum, its key-lime!" she was almost salivating. She hurriedly grabbed several slices of the delicacy, conjured a tissue, and took a huge bite. "Merlin! This is GOOD!"

It was by this point the green haired girl pounced on her, successfully knocking the pie out of her grasp.

"Oi!"

"Give me some!"

"Never!"

The two fought over the already bitten slice.

"Get up both of you!" they turned their heads up to the small girl glaring at them. "Stop fighting over some goddamn food and thank Marlene for bringing it!"

They hung their heads. "Yes, Alice." They turned to the group of bewildered girls crowding the plates. "Sorry, Marlene. Thank you for the food."

It was silent for about half a second, before they all burst into laughter.

"Share the pie, okay?"

"Sure," Lily grunted, shoving a slice over to the expectant Metamorphagus opposite her.

"Little birds in their nest agree," was her reply. She had a habit of saying that. Whenever her or her roommates fought, it would be a quick but stern telling off, then just that line. None knew the real meaning of the line, but then again, they doubted even Alice knew what it meant.

"So," Mary began as she bit into her sausage, "see anyone on your way down?" she was over the brief panic attack that the thought of loosing Reg had caused her, and was back to her usual carefree nature.

"Nah," she replied. "Potter stopped me though." She flicked her eyes over to Lily, "Wanted to see how his _darling_ Lilian was doing," she put on her most pathetic, cheesiest voice for the delivery.

"Tell him his 'darling Lilian' is fine, no thanks to him."

"Duly noted, honey."

The Prefect rolled her eyes.

"What dumb compliment did he give you this time?" inquired Serena.

"Told me I was tiny. He's slipping," she commented.

The bespectacled girl laughed. "He asked me why I straightened my hair. 'Serena, sweetheart, why do you straighten your hair? I'm sure having an afro would be highly satisfying.'" She said in a very good imitation of him. "It's slipping, definitely. He's just getting more pathetic by the minute. Hopefully this means he'll start actually talking to Lily without having to do it through us."

"Why would you wish that upon your friend? Have you no soul?"

"We have had five years of 'Can you ask Lily this?' or 'Can you tell Lily that?' We deserve a break, woman!"

Lily threw the last of her potato at her. The pie was too good to waste.

"Li-ly!" she whined. "I washed my hair yesterday! You know how long it takes to do it!"

"I'm sorry, when did you turn into Celestina Warbeck?"

"When my new hit single, _Charm Your Way To Me_, reached the top of the UK wizarding charts!" she did yet another impression, this time in a girlish, giggling, let-me-rip-my-ears-out voice. She stood up on the bed.

"_We-e-e-e-ll_!" she began the song, in a deep, soulful tone.

"_You walked right into my life,_

_And cast a spell on me…"_ Truthfully, she did have a fabulous voice. Even now, as she mocked the warbling voice of the singer, she still sounded fabulous.

"…_A-and that's how I know-oh!"_

"_I know_!" the girls on the bed joined in, as her backing crew.

"_A-and that's how I know-oh!"_

"_I know!"_

"_That's how I know…_

_You charmed your way to me._

_Oooh, you charmed your way, to-oo…_

_Me-ee-ee-ee-ee!"_ the lingering last note rung through the small room, and the six others all clapped vigorously. "Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week!"

"I didn't know you sang, Serena," inquired a voice from the doorway. Serena dropped to the bed from where she was standing. All heads turned to the intruder. "Oh, hi." Remus Lupin laughed.

"Remus!" they all cheered. Of the Marauders, Remus was the favourite.

"What you here for, handsome?" Beth quizzed.

"Prefect details," he answered. A few of them groaned. "Aw, sorry girls, as much as I'd like to stay and listen," he winked over to Serena, "a man's gotta do what a mans gotta do."

"And what is that exactly?"

"Meticulously plan studying hours around this weeks patrol schedule." He grumbled.

"We've just done our O.W.L's!" cried Mary.

"But we have N.E.W.T's next!"

"See, Remus, this is why we love you. Now if you would _just_ admit your hidden feelings for Sirius, you could join us in our little gossip chats and eat Chocolate Cauldrons like a regular girl."

"Merlin, you have no idea how tempting that is, Hestia."

"Since we're so nice," she started, fishing around the several striped candy bags, "You can have the last Cauldron." She picked up one, and chucked it over to him.

"It's not the last, is it?"

"Nope. But we're saving them for another crisis like the one today."

"Oh yeah," he stepped into the room, "you okay, Lils?"

She nodded sweetly at him, before handing him the schedule that was mapped out on her bedside table.

"Great. Do I really have to patrol with _Alexia_?" he grumbled as he looked over the timetable.

"Sorry, sweetie. Go complain to someone who cares. I have Carrick. I refuse to feel sorry for anyone except myself."

"I'll ask Jo later. I'm pretty sure she likes me," he grinned, "I'll ask if we can patrol together, yeah?"

"If you can do that, then I promise to never tease you about your secret relationship with a certain Marauder ever again."

"I'll have to do it then," he hugged her quickly, and waved to the girls still on the bed. "See ya, ladies!"

"…Wait!" Alice called after him.

"Mmm?" he mumbled, head sticking out from behind the door.

"This is the girl's dormitories."

"Well spotted, love."

"How did you get up here? Is there something you're not telling us?"

"Ah, innocent children," he said in a patronising voice, "You have no idea how easy getting up these stairs is." With that, he left.

"He's definitely a girl," declared Lily, plopping back down in her original seat.

* * *

"Rise and shine!"

Sleeping was nice. Waking was not.

"Get up, Ginge. We have Reeves this morning. He'll kill us if we aren't at class dead on nine," Bethany grumbled.

"Mhhgh," Lily moaned, turning over and pressing her face into her slightly damp pillow. "Piss off. Lily sleep."

"Do you want a detention?"

"Yes."

"Get up!" she grabbed the sleeping girl's arm and hauled her out of her warm covers.

"AAGH!" she rolled off and landed with a thump on the floor. "Merlin, Bumble!"

"Go have a shower." She commanded. Lily rose and walked over to the door leading to the bathrooms.

"I hate you."

"Love you too, sweetie." She replied as the door slammed angrily on her face. The redhead hadn't registered today's style yet. Ah, well, its not like she wasn't going to see it later.

The shower was turned on, and the Prefect impatiently waited for the water to heat up. Screw it - it was ice cold. She waved her wand once and watched as the water quickly started to steam. She smiled to herself.

Washed and ready, the two left for the Great Hall. All the others had already gone down.

Todays style was a long; candyfloss pink and white do, with a neatly cut fringe. It curled perfectly near the ends, while the rest of it was either straight or slightly wavy, and just about reached the Metamorphagus's tiny hips. It was lovely, especially due to her change in skin-tone, which she had ever so subtly darkened, making her more tanned than pale.

"I thought you said you would stay pale for me?" she asked as they descended the stairs to the Entrance Hall.

"Honey, I'll go back to vampire-ism tomorrow. But honestly, I cant be a sheet today! Not with this hair!" she pointed to her very obvious locks, and held them up against Lily's face. "See? I would literally be a ghost!"

She sighed. "Who are you trying to impress?"

The newly tinted pink eyes flashed to Lily's green ones. "No one."

"Oh really? So you just happen to go all out this past week, making yourself look absolutely fabulous, for no apparent reason?"

"A girl can't look pretty for herself?"

"They can," she conceded, "But you can't."

Bethany huffed. "Merlin, why do you have to know me so well?"

"Because that's what best friends do." She laughed, as she pushed open the door. "Tell me who it is later, I can't go into a catatonic state _just_ yet; I'm starved."

The pink eyes rolled, and the two walked through the large crowd to meet the few sitting on the end of the Gryffindor table.

"Good morning, my sweets!" Alice greeted them, as they sunk down onto the low bench.

"'Morning!" Lily replied, and Beth just saluted. The former grabbed a muffin and poured herself a coffee.

Her coffee was a tradition, and also one of the only reasons she woke up every morning. The coffee the house-elves made was _good_. Like, really good.

She guessed it was probably an addiction. Well, it wasn't healthy, at least. She couldn't function without her regular dose of caffeine. The outcome of sleeping in too long and missing it was awful. It was the main reason why everyone made an effort to wake her up in the morning, or if there was no hope, going down themselves and bringing it back up to her.

Cream and two sugars.

They all knew the score, but still, it wasn't as good if they did it. It didn't taste right if it wasn't her hand adding in just the right amount of cream, or stirring the sugar cubes in at a precise angle so that it would melt slowly, filling the bitter liquid with its sweetness.

"Hello?" a hand waved in front of her.

"She's in the zone, don't disturb her! The dreaded 'Day-That-Must-Not-Be-Repeated' may be repeated!" Hestia snapped.

Her comment made the redhead laugh. "Was I really that bad? You talk like I was Him or something!"

She didn't need to define who 'Him' was. Merlin, everyone knew. He had been about the papers a lot recently, with new attacks on Muggles or Muggleborns, and the occasional Ministry worker that went missing.

"Trust me, if He had to face off with you on that day, you would have won."

They all laughed.

Deep down, they were all scared witless. Even the purebloods, like Alice and Hestia and Beth. They were all so close to Muggleborns, like Lily herself, and could be considered blood-traitors, which to Him equaled about as lowly as a Muggleborns. So all they could do was laugh about it, because the truth of the matter was all too unbearable.

"You make me feel awful about myself, y'know. Its like you expect me to turn into some big, angry monster!"

"You're not one already?" a voice behind her joked. Not needing to turn around, for she knew the voice far too well - more than she wished, actually.

"Oh har, har, Potter. You make me laugh."

"Glad to hear it, sweet cheeks." He joked, sliding in next to her, as a blushing Third-Year moved out of the way.

"Really?" she asked the small girl, bright red from head to toe now. "Do you have no respect for one of your Prefect's sanity? Do you want her to rip her hair out before the bell has even rung?"

She shook her head furiously, as though Lily _were_ some kind of monster.

"Now, Evans, what did we say about scaring the kids? It won't do at all well when we have out own."

"Oh, go find some other girl to harass, it's too early for me to think up of another long-winded rant about how much I hate you," she snapped.

"If it's that hard to think up, then I'm guessing you don't really hate me that much?"

"Keep the dream alive, yeah?"

"Will do."

She rolled her eyes. "Leave and let me drink. Apparently I'm murderous without it." She shot the girls around her a look before turning back to him. "And I'm sure even in that thick head of yours, you know that murderous means someone who is fit to kill. And when someone who is fit to kill is aggravated, they may just do it. You don't want to die yet, do you, Potter?"

"Not without you realizing you really love me, no."

"Well then go."

His face brightened up, "So there _is _a chance you will realize?"

"I didn't say that."

"You're not denying it though."

"Actually, for some weird reason, I was trying to be kind. I guess I shouldn't try anymore, because either way you act like a total prat." She huffed before beginning again. "No, there is no chance I will _ever_ realize these fake feelings you have made me feel in your head. I don't like you, I never have liked you, and I never _will_ like you."

"Keep the dream alive, yeah?" he repeated her, only with much less venom behind it than she had added. Before she could retort with an angry remark, he got up, winked at her coyly, and sauntered off down the aisle, back to his friends.

"I bloody hope I never have to see that boy again," she grumbled before sipping moodily on her coffee.

* * *

Lily's wishes were far from fulfilled.

"Evans and Potter," the moody Professor said, as he carried on with his list.

She knew it was going to be a bad day. She could tell. After already having one encounter with the Gryffindor this morning, she was ready to Avada Kevadra herself. Now she was working with him in Defense Against the Dark Arts, a class she already hated – but that was mainly due to the teaching. They never had a consistent teacher. Sacked, died, resigned, mysteriously missing, were all the norm for the teachers of this specific class.

This year, they had been left with Professor Reeves, an old, grouchy man with tufty, white haired sideburns and a shaped white moustache. He wasn't the worst they've had, sure, but he wasn't the best, either.

Him pairing her with James didn't add to her liking of him.

"It must be fate," he laughed as he dropped his stuff down next to her.

"Oh give it a rest."

"Give what a rest?" he asked her innocently. "I was just commenting on the fact he paired us two together, you see, it is _very _interesting."

"No, its not. It's him getting revenge on me for not doing that assignment on werewolves last week."

"And it's _also_ him rewarding me for handing it in early and far more detailed and longer than any other's in the class."

She glared at him, which he returned, before she dropped his gaze and turned back to the Professor as he demonstrated what they would be studying today.

"… We will be practicing disarming and shielding-" the class groaned. "There is nothing left in the curriculum!" he snapped. "There are mere days left until the end of term! So, instead of note taking, I thought you would rather do something practical. If that isn't the case, please open your books to page-"

The whole class made a loud rumble as they stood and began to send hexes to their respectable partners.

"Well, at least I won't get in trouble for 'accidentally' shrinking your arms now," Lily muttered.

"You know what else you won't get in trouble for?" her eyebrow raised skeptically, "Kissing me," he winked the same as he had done this morning.

She quickly shot a hex at him, and laughed until she had to stop and breathe, before returning to her fits. She had caught him off guard, no doubt, but the look of utter bewilderment on his face as he flew back into the piles of unused desks and chairs was all too much.

"Ah, see, this is why I find you hot," he replied as he got up nonchalantly and brushed himself down.

All traces of laughter were wiped from her face. "I liked you better when you were flying into the pile of furniture. Though, I would have preferred it to be a tank of Grindylows, if I'm being honest. But, I take what I can get." She raised her wand at him again.

"Going to hex me?" he taunted.

Merlin, she hated him. How was it that only he could make her furious? Furious enough to yell at him in a crowded room, draw her wand at him in the Library, or even punch him one in the stomach? Naturally, she would have wanted it to be in his jaw, or temple, but they were in Third-Year and he was going through a growth spurt, while she stayed miniscule. Why was it only him that could draw out these emotions with the slightest provocation?

Well, that was unexpected. She usually raised her wand at him, but they were always empty threats. She would never intentionally break the rules. He was even surprised to hear her say she never handed in her homework. Almost as surprised as he was, handing it in.

It's not as though it had been har though, really. His best friend was a werewolf, and he, along with the other two Marauders, ventured the castle grounds and Hogsmeade every full moon with him, just so he didn't have to do it alone. The foot-long parchment was nothing.

He got up from his awkward position, and his back gave a jolt. That would definitely leave a mark. He shrugged it off. It wasn't as though he couldn't claim Lily had given him a hickey on his back... He would have to work on that.

_Not_ that he lived to annoy Lily to no end, though.

...He couldn't help it. It was the only way to get her attention. Being nice to her didn't work. He had tried, but her laugh made his insides turn to jelly, and her smile gave him this strange feeling in the bottom of his stomach.

It didn't work for _him_, anyway. He wasn't so sure about her. She just seemed to hate him. A lot.

The redhead was from him, leaning on to the table they had shared for support. She was nearly crying from laughter. Damn.

She looked pretty when she laughed.

Really, she looked pretty all the time. But, just sometimes, this little… pang in his chest reminded him that 'yeah, that's her, I'm going to make you look like a prat now, because of her'. It used to happen a lot. Now, it was just when she _really_ looked good.

He took this as a good sign at first, because liking her wasn't exactly fun. Constant rejection, constant fighting, constant hating, not exactly what you want from a girl you wanted to take to the Three Broomsticks.

Soon enough, he knew it wasn't him stopping liking her.

It was like he didn't need reminding as much anymore.

So, that's why, whenever he got the chance, he would annoy Lily. Purely because he wanted a rise from her. He loved seeing the anger flash in her eyes, the way her upper-lip stiffened when she thought of something horrible to say back to him, and the way only he could _really_ infuriate her.

He knew it was childish, he knew it was stupid, but then again, so was he.

* * *

"To the Headmaster! I will _not_ tolerate behavior like that in my classroom!"

"In all fairness, sir, it won't be yours for much longer."

"Get out! Both of you! Out now!"

James stared at her incredulously as they both exited the class.

"Merlin, I'm impressed, Evans."

She glared at him. But really, she was just fighting a smile. "What? He isn't going to be there at the end of term, and he knows it. That's why he's so scared of us doing anything wrong. Ten sickles says he's a quitter."

"You're on, El Gingero."

Her eyebrow raised and her eyes tightened. "What did you call me?"

"El Gingero. Spanish."

"No, its not. It's just 'El' in front of 'Ginger' and added an 'o' on the end."

"Exactly. That's how everything is in Spanish, right?"

Her green eyes rolled to the ceiling before she walked ahead of him.

"What? It _is_!"

"No its not! Stop being ridiculous! That's like saying because we're British, you have to add 'Cheerio!' at the end of every sentence, and find a way to work in 'crumpets' every five minutes!"

"Oh I'm sorry, I forgot I was talking to the Great Queen of Everything, Mrs. Shut-Up-I'm-Right-Even-When-I'm-Wrong!"

"But I'm right!" she shrieked.

He did know she was right. In fact, he spoke rather good Spanish, thanks to the classes he was forced to go to as a kid. But it didn't matter, because this was much more fun.

"Oh, yeah, of _course_ you are! Are you sure you want to admit it? Because its not like you criticize everything I do, just so you can yell out 'I'm right! I'm right!'" he said this in a poor imitation of her voice. "And it's not as though you _force_ yourself and opinions onto people, no no. "

"I don't!" she yelled.

"Really?" he laughed. "You did _not_ just say that."

"Oh because you're Mr Perfect, Quidditch player, I-Do-What-I-Want-When-I-Want, as if you have your own rules specially formulated for you and your pathetic little gang!" she bit her lip, "Sorry that was rude."

He actually did a double take. What? It was Snape all over again.

She hardened her glare. "_I shouldn't lug the other three down with you_."

There it was. The world made sense once more.

Not that he couldn't deny the last comment hadn't hurt him. He knew she liked Remus and Sirius, Remus from Prefect duties, and Sirius for Merlin knows. He wasn't really sure if she knew Peter all that well, but he knew she probably liked him more than himself.

He was about to snap back at her, when Professor McGonagall came bustling out of a classroom to their left.

"What is this?" she yelled, louder than Lily had before. The latter dropped her glare as soon as she finished, and lowering her head in shame.

"Sorry, Professor," she mumbled.

She looked down at her. "Why aren't you two in lesson? And _why_ are you screaming like a bunch of hooligans?"

"We got sent to Dumbledore," James began. "We just sort of…" he gestured between the two. It wasn't uncommon knowledge to know the two could hardly stand each other.

"Why did you get sent out of class, may I ask, Mr. Potter?"

"Um… Well, Evans may or may not have tried to hex me, which I may or may not have deflected, which may or may not have accidentally struck Professor Reeves, sending him into a fit of uncontrollable leg movement."

From the corner of his eye, he saw Lily smirk slightly.

McGonagall was just shocked.

"Off to the Headmaster's office indeed! I expected better of you, Miss. Evans!" Lily's smirk vanished. "Now be off with you!" she shooed, clicking her tongue impatiently. "And no yelling in the corridors!"

The pair were silent he rest of the way to Dumbledore's office. They knew all too well if they started to speak, they would end up shouting at each other once more.

They reached the Gargoyle that protected his office.

"Chocolate frogs!" he announced to the statue. Merlin, she knew he was crazy, but talking to an inanimate object?

"Oh don't give me that look. Enter the right password and he'll let us in."

"_You_ would know, wouldn't you?" she snapped.

"Considering I _do_, then yeah, I'd say I know, because I know I know."

"That doesn't even make sense."

To her surprise he laughed. "Nah, it doesn't, does it?"

She rolled her eyes. Why did he have to be a prat when she didn't want to argue, but almost bordering on nice when she didn't?

Did she just think that? James Potter _wasn't_ nice.

"You gonna help, or what?"

She blinked at him and shook her head slightly. "Um, what?"

"Help. Open the door. In front of the gargoyle." As if to make it more obvious, he flapped his arms around the general direction of the ugly thing.

"Well I don't know the password, do I? You're the expert on getting in trouble here."

For a sentence meaning to be horrible, she was completely taken aback when he grinned at her.

"Aw, Evs, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me!"

"Don't call me that."

"Anything for you, Carrot Top."

Her eyes narrowed.

"I would say I'm sorry, but I'm not." He flashed her another crooked grin.

"Of course you're not, birds nest." His eyes narrowed before she began again. "Now how did you say this thing opens? A password?" he nodded. "Well that could be anything!"

"Not really. It has to be a sweet of sorts," she questioned him with her expression. "Well, every time I've been here, which is a lot, as you so rightly pointed out," the grin returned, "it's always been a sweet of sorts."

"Quite right," an aged voice from behind them said. The two both turned to see the Headmaster himself standing there.

"Oh, hello, sir." Lily began, "We, uh…"

"We were sent to your office, sir."

"From Defense Against the Dark Arts,"

"Yeah," the two filled in each other's gaps.

A slight smile played on Dumbledore's aged face. "As I have been informed so by Professor McGonagall."

The two lowered their gaze.

"Now, if you two don't mind, I think this conversation would be better if it continued in my office." The two, who were standing rather close, for them anyway, separated quickly. He nodded to them both slightly, before entering the password, ("Licorice Wands!") and watching the gargoyle spring away.

The two followed silently as he led them up the winding staircase.

When they reached his office, he conjured up two chairs on one side of his desk, and then took his usual seat on his large chair, on the other side.

"Sit, if you please." He gestured to the two chairs.

They both complied without a second thought.

"Now, if you could please tell me what happened truthfully, without turning on the other." The smile at his lips became more prominent.

Lily began, speaking quickly. "Well, sir, we," she gestured to herself and James, "were partners in Defense, and we were doing hexes and such, and he was being annoying," he opened his mouth to argue, but a glare sent his way by the speaker silenced him. "And I hexed him, then laughed for a while, then he got all huffy, and we started doing the work, then he was being _more_ annoying, and he isn't really that good at deflecting, and I don't know _why_ he chose to deflect it in a classroom anyway, but then Professor Reeves got hit, and" she motioned with the arms to the whole room, "is what came out of it."

He nodded politely to her. "And, Mr. Potter, could you please explain what happened after you left the classroom?"

James nodded "Evans was being all high and mighty as usual," he glared at her this time, "and then started getting annoyed at me because I called her 'El Gingero', and apparently it isn't real Spanish when you add and 'o' to the end of everything, and an 'El' in front, which I, funnily enough, happen to know, because I'm pretty much fluent in the language," her eyes widened. They were met with another glare. "But no, she's always right, yada, yada, yada, and then she starts going ballistic at me, and Minnie comes out," this time the Headmaster sent him a funny look. "Sorry, not with the Marauders." He shook his head and smiled, "-and _McGonagall_ came out, and she starts yelling and both of us, even though _she_," he pointed at Lily like a five-year-old would, when they blamed something on someone else, "was the one who started it!"

"I was not!"

"You were!"

"Wasn't!"

"Was!"

"Wasn-"

"Ahem." The Headmaster cleared his throat. Both students looked at him rather guiltily before lowering their gaze respectively. "Are you done?" they nodded. "Thank you. Now, you will both be receiving detention tonight, at 5pm." They looked up. "It is not my doing, however, which I am inclined to tell you. Professor McGonagall was the one who issued it, due to your behavior in the hallways."

The pair where expecting it really.

"And as for your behavior in class," Lily bit her lip. "I cannot see reason to why he sent you both here. You were clearly doing as instructed, and it is not your fault if a deflected jinx hits someone else once in a while." He smiled warmly at them, which they both returned. "You may go." Both still smiling, they got up.

"Thank you, Professor," Lily said, and walked towards the door.

"Yeah, thanks, sir," James called after.

The door closed behind them.

"Should we go back to class?" she asked him.

He raised his upper lip in a disgruntled way. "Do we have to?" he whined.

"I hope not. I was just wishing you'd suggest something ridiculous so I could blame you for my cutting class."

"That's my girl, Evans," he winked at her.

"I'm not your girl."

"Not _yet._"

"I thought we covered this, this morning?"

He ignored her question. "What do you want to do?"

"What?"

"We can do anything at all. Except like fight dragons or apparate to Egypt or something really hard."

"Damn, because I _really_ wanted to fight a Norwegian Ridgeback!" she replied, her voice dripping in sarcasm. "What makes you think I want to spend my time off lessons with you, anyway?"

"Didn't you just say you were going to blame me? That does kind of entitle the fact I should be with you, or the blaming on me would be pointless."

She glared. He smirked at his intellect.

"So, what'll it be? Back to a class with a teacher that hates you, or roaming the castle with an _extremely_ good looking chap?"

"Well," she pretended to think, "I could choose either…" He nodded, his full of mock seriousness. "But I could also _not_ choose either."

The totally blank expression on his face actually made her smile a bit.

"See ya 'round, Potter." She turned on her heel and left.

* * *

The first time Lily had really been upset was the time when she found this little place.

Now, it was just a place for her to go when the Common Room became too loud, the gossiping Sixth-Years flooded the Library so she could not do her homework, or –on the rare occasion- when she was truly sad.

Today, her visit was for none. It was purely her refraining from an inevitable argument.

That surprised her. She must be maturing.

She wandered outside the Entrance Hall for a while, making sure no one was following her. One in particular, actually. She didn't know what she would do if Potter found this place. The thought made her shudder.

She snuck across the grass, as discretely as a girl with hair as bright as hers could.

She reached the Lake quickly, and slowly straightened up. No one could see her now, exactly.

The familiar spot of rock that was almost like a cliff, jutted out. She ducked under the wet stone and climbed into the hollowed out centre. It wasn't wet in there like the outside. The waves lapped up at such an angle, completely soaking the outside, but keeping the cavern on the inside dry as anything.

Crammed in the familiar space with nothing to do but think, she went over the events of the past day.

She hadn't spent much time thinking about her fight with Sev. She knew if she dwelled on it too much, she would just burst into tears, no matter where she was.

Thankfully, she hadn't had much time to dwell on it. Potter, being a prat as usual, had stopped her from thinking about it too much this morning, but she couldn't deny she had cried herself to sleep last night, even after the long chat with her girlfriends.

The tears fall, and even though they are streaming down her face like anything, it is some time before she finally notices. She doesn't do anything about them though.

He watched her go, and it was some time before he woke up from his trance.

What just happened?

He was so confused. She was bloody bipolar, that was the only explanation. One moment, yelling at him, next: stony silence, then what… Joking? Flirting? Teasing? What was that little exchange they had just had?

He hadn't moved his eyes from the staircase she had long before descended.

What did she mean she 'could also not choose either'?

What?

She was mental. Crazy. Unstable.

…Amazing.

His feet moved, with the vague idea of following her. It was more than just seeing her; it was also the fact to prove that he knew every centimeter of the Hogwarts grounds.

He stopped. Why should he follow her? Like she knew a part of the castle he didn't. He knew this place like the back of his hand!

The very notion that she knew a nook or cranny he did not was preposterous.

Stupid, pretty, mental Evans.

* * *

**A/N:** What's your verdict, ey? I live for your reviews and critiques of my writing! Wait, that does make me sound rather desperate, doesn't it? I'm not going to lie though, honestly is the best policy and all that jazz. Please drop in and tell me what you thought, even if it is to just tell me to give up on my dreams of writing and go back to reading other people's work.

Patiently waiting-ly yours,

Ruby


	2. Change is Shocking

**A/N:** Hello again! Not many reviews I see, to my disappointment. Oh well, I'm going to keep on writing, because I as I was writing this, I started to get some ideas, which I think deserve to see the light of day. So, if you may, please read on!

**Disclaimer:**I own nothing. All the lovely characters you know and love are all property to JoRo, Queen of Everything. Have you heard about her new book? I can't wait to get my own copy!

-Chapter Two-

Change is Shocking

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."- Mya Angelou

"Oi, Marls, you seen Ginge anywhere?" Beth called as she stumbled in to the stuffy room, making her way over to the blonde girl who was busy with a quill and parchment.

The elder's head snapped up. "Nope, been here all morning, only saw her at breakfast." Her eyes followed the girl as she slumped down on the couch next to her.

The roaring fire in the scarlet and gold common room was just perfect, warming the two on the couch very nicely. It was an unusually cold morning for one of June, but the weather would always play up, for this was England.

Bethany had been searching for the lost Prefect all morning, after her disappearance from Defense. She had seen James and asked him, for she wasn't on bad terms with the Marauders, (considering she was soon going to be related one of them –Sirius- through her eldest sister, Evelyn, who was marrying one of his uncles or cousins or such this summer) and he hadn't seen her since their visit to the Dumbledore's office. She knew that Lily could take care of herself, but she couldn't help but worry about her.

"You sure?"

"Positive. Why are we looking for her?"

"She got sent to Dumbledore this morning in Defense," she sighed. "Where have _you_ been?"

"I've hermited for the past like, four, five hours, supposedly doing homework, but really I've been drawing this." She held up an intense doodled piece of parchment. "Procrastination, baby."

"Well done," She rolled her pink eyes "I'm _sure_ it will get you far in life."

"Oh, it will." She confirmed. "They are going to hang this piece up in the National Gallery, and just marvel at its amazing-ness."

"National Gallery?"

"The place me and Lil took you and Alice in the holidays."

"Oh!" she exclaimed, "The place with all the sculptures and creepy faces and scribbles?"

"Its _art_."

"Its _rubbish_!"

"Oh, what do you know?"

"A lot, thank you very much!"

Marlene took a deep breath and clamed herself. She was used to people not appreciating the 'finer things' in life, like she did, as her Mother didn't appreciate the time and precision it took to make good of a piece of paper, and often shared the feelings with her when she found her sketching or painting in her room over the holidays. Really, after she turned eleven and got her letter, nothing she did would ever make her mum appreciative of her.

"You haven't worried about our dear Ginger?" Beth spoke up, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Oh _yes_, because Lily is just _so_ helpless and cannot stand up for herself _at all_." Her voice dripped with sarcasm, still slightly ticked off about their small argument.

"Au contraire, Margarine."

"Margarine? That's new."

"My ever-present genius is once again making its self known."

"Yup, _that's_ it."

"Don't I know it," she muttered, rising from her seat and once again headed for the portrait hole. "I'm going to go continue trying to find her. Thanks for the _fabulous_ advice."

"No problemo! Make sure you go to your last lessons though!" she called back.

"Oh, 'cause you always do!" she retorted, climbing out of the hole.

"I am the epitome of what every student in Hogwarts should be!"

"Yeah, yeah, Margie," she waved and walked down the hall, the Fat Lady's portrait swinging to a close behind her.

She had been to every place she knew. Library, Great Hall, Dormitories, Common Room… Where else could she be?

No one had seen her, which meant she was definitely hidden. Lily was a popular girl, and unless she was taking _extreme_ care not to be noticed, she would have been seen by at least a few people. She, not unlike herself, stood out in a crowd.

She aimlessly wandered for a while, looking for a mane of ginger the numerous corridors, not all too worried about the scheduled ringing bell she heard ever now and then.

"-Don't tell me your upset about loosing that abomination?"

Beth froze in her tracks.

"N-No," spluttered the second.

Her heart pounded in her chest. She had found her way to –what she had thought- was an empty corridor near the –what she thought- was the statue of Burg the Brutal. She was in fact in a turn off to the South Tower, and very much not alone. The South Tower was in fact, strictly Slytherin territory. And she, a Gryffindor, was much less than welcome.

"Good." The first voice cut in. "Where we're going to end up, there will be no need for pathetic low-lives such as _her_ and _her_ _kind_."

"C-Course. Yeah, t-that's why I got r-rid of her, yeah…" the second voice mumbled, in the same scared and distrustful manner.

"Glad you did. She would have only weighed you down."

"T-Totally… Yeah…"

"The Dark Lord does not do kindly to the befriending of Mudbloods, remember."

The stuttering second voice's voice turned from a stutter to one of panic. "DON'T USE HIS NAME HERE! PEOPLE COULD BE LISTENING!" was his reply in a harsh, frightened whisper. There was a pause. "Don't look at me like that! You know he would be far less than pleased that two of his most faithful trainees are giving him away to the enemy!"

"Who cares if we go around announcing our faith to him? I am proud to say I follow the Dark Lords-"

"QUIET!"

"There's no one around!"

"How do you know?"

"What is the matter with you? Snap out of it! Stop acting like a coward!"

The stutter returned. "S-Sorry, I think I might be a b-bit… sick. I'm sick, that's it… I think I… I'm going to go to the dormitory… Yeah, sick…"

Sick? Merlin, his companion wasn't _sick_! Beth was a fair distance from the two and even she could make out that the second boy was _clearly _lying.

"Sick? What are you playing at? We have a _meeting_ tonight!"

"S-Sorry," the second boy repeated. "Just-t going to g-get worse, going to d-dormitory." The sound of footsteps started, and was quickly joined by another set, heavier than the first.

_Shit, _Beth's inner-self groaned to her. She needed to get out of the way. What if they saw her? The whole pink-and-white candyfloss look _really_ wasn't helping. She frantically looked back and forth down the dark corridor, and thankfully spotted a small broom cupboard. Knowing the general deal with the broom cupboards, she was hesitant to enter, but when she heard the footsteps of the two getting closer, she swung the door open and jumped inside. Then, she proceeded to duck down and peer through the small keyhole, as to find out who's conversation she had been listening to, without even checking if the small room was occupied or not.

Unfortunately, it was.

"Damn! I thought Kellan was lying when he said girls literally throw themselves into these bleeding things."

She swung her head around to see who had spoke, effectively hitting her forehead on the hard doorknob.

"Fuck!" she whispered angrily. "Shut up, you twat!" she then bit her lip hard, and signaled him a very rude gesture with her finger.

He opened his mouth to speak, but she held up a hand to stop him, and then cocked her head to her left, nearing the door, listening for the footsteps she had heard not moments before.

The repetitive beats of the two were still audible.

Her eyes squinted through the tiny space once more.

"Oi! Don't ignore me!" the voice from behind her once again piped up.

The footsteps stopped.

"Fuck, holy shitting fuck, crap balls-"

They were now heading for the door. She knew they were.

Her fears were confirmed when the doorknob she had previously hit her head on began to turn.

Flailing in panic, the terrified –though not sure why- girl shot up and flung herself at the boy she had just told to shut up.

It was all ever so confusing.

The door opened, and voice one and two peered in to see Bethany snogging a random bloke who had been in the right place at the right time.

She pulled away and mustered up her courage to glare at the intruders, keeping up the pretence that they had just interrupted a very steamy make-out session. She only hoped the idiotic boy who had got them into this mess was playing along too.

As she was turning, she started in her haughtiest voice, "Didn't anyone ever tell you to knock before entering?" her gaze met the two that were standing in the doorways. Her heart stopped once more. She was currently glaring at a very angry Tyros Mulciber and a very sickly-looking Severus Snape.

Mulciber smirked at the faux-angry girl. "Gryffindors aren't welcome here, sugar." Her eyes tightened, and his smirk grew. "Un_less_ you wanted to do what you were currently doing with you boyfriend to me…and maybe a bit more?"

"Get the hell out, you sleazy bastard!" she blinked away her shock at who it was, enraged at the disgustingly inappropriate comment made by the Slytherin.

Bethany May Colebrook was _not_ a slut.

"Hey now, hey no-" he was successfully cut off by the hard punch situated in his stomach by the girl.

"Get the hell out!" she glared viciously at Snape, who tightened his lip and pulled up his crippled friend, dragging him out of the doorway until he got his wind back. "And next time you want to fucking snog, get a cupboard that _isn't_ full!"

Beth may or may not have had a slight tenacity to swear a lot.

Slamming the door for effect, she pulled it back as sharply and as hard as possible. She was surprised it didn't break at the hinges.

"Erm… I'm not even going to pretend I understood what just happened there… I'm guessing an ex-boyfriend?"

He was met with a manically cutting glare from the bright pink eyes of the Metamorphagus.

"I'm guessing not?" a sharp nod from her followed. "Hey, I'm all for you snogging me though."

"Do you want me to hit you, too?" her voice was hard. "I'm sure you saw how hard I can hit."

"I think I'll save the punches if I were you, doll."

Her eyes narrowed once more.

"What? I don't know your name!" he defended himself.

"Lucky excuse."

"…So are you going to tell me?"

"I don't think so."

"Well I'm Jamal Stark. Nice to… have you run into the cupboard I was hiding out in, yell at me and call me a twat, then stuff your tongue down my throat, then threaten to punch me." He stuck out his hand with a silly grin. "I like your hair, by the way."

For some reason or another, this made her blush faintly. "Thanks." She took his hand in hers and shook it. "It won't stay like this though," she informed him as she let go.

"What?"

"I change it everyday."

"Why?"

"Because I can, that's why."

He was silent for a moment, before grinning stupidly again. "I was joking when I said I didn't know your name," he confessed. "You're Bethany Colebrook, aren't you?"

She nodded, frowning. "How do you know who I am?"

"Schools only Metamorphagus, am I right?"

She grinned proudly. "First one since 1359."

"That's a hell of a long time."

"And people like me are a hell of a lot rare."

He winked at her, "Well they can only make so many extremely pretty and special people. They have to let normal people like us have a shot at least."

The blush that was already situated on her tan cheeks deepened.

"Well, in any case, your right. I am the one and only Bethany." She moved to the door. "Now, if you don't mind, I am going to go and find my friend. Have a nice day, Stark." She found the doorknob, eyes never leaving his misty grey ones.

"Call me Jamal. I have a feeling we're going to meet again." The pretty eyes she had been focused on flashed mischievously.

She smiled. "Have a nice day, _Jamal_." She turned and stepped out of the claustrophobic space.

"Likewise, beautiful."

* * *

With her body numb from sitting in the same position for the past several hours, she grudgingly shifted and slid herself out of her cave. She wouldn't have made the effort if she didn't have a detention –in what she thought was- soon.

Brilliant. Cleaning cauldrons with the git that had got them into this in the first place.

Now, there were many things Lily Evans did not understand about James Potter, but the main thing was the fact he was never… consistent. He claimed to love her and want her to be his girlfriend one minute, then the next he was sneering at her and teased her to no end. Could anyone really blame her for constant refusal at his requests –which she wasn't even sure were legit? The thought of them being a joke was more prominent now that when he first started asking her. At first meeting, he was just annoying, but not _mean_. That was why, when he first asked her, she had got a slightly fuzzy head, butterflies in her stomach, and blushed furiously. She had said no, of course, because as flattered as she was, she was in a phase of liking another. After the first rejection was when he started to get mood-swingier. Now, she was sure he was just asking for his own amusement, because for some reason he found it highly funny to watch her get very angry with him.

Today proved as much, anyway.

The morning went from him pointlessly bantering with her, which she can't say she _enjoyed_ specifically, but she would much rather have that James as a consistent than the one she was paired with in Defense.

In a matter of moments, he went from an annoying –albeit rather funny- person, to a complete twat. The reason she had sent the second hex (the one that was then deflected and ricochet onto Professor Reeves's very bald head) was because he was just… intolerable. His cutting remarks on her form and stance, the fact he kept moaning about how she was "no match for him!" and how if he put in the effort, he could trounce her _easily_.

Bloody prat.

She didn't hate him, exactly. She wasn't sure hating was even possible unless the said hatee did something unforgivable to the hater. And though he was madly infuriating and she did want to wring his neck most of the time, she didn't _hate_ him. Dislike him? Certainly.

She was just fed up this morning, when she had sent the hex. Sure, she had been provoked, and really, provoking her wasn't the best idea. Her short temper was something to be somewhat feared throughout the school.

It was funny someone so small could be so daunting.

Then thought made her laugh to herself. As if tiny, little, ginger Evans could be something to be feared. To be feared, she thought, you had to at least reach the persons shoulders.

Lily hadn't grown since Third-Year, and although she was rather tall back then, she was now (apart from Alice) the smallest in the group.

She would have loved to be tall like Serena was, and be able to glare at the smugly-nearly-six-foot Potter without the need to crane her neck and stand on the tops of her toes to be at eye level with him, but it didn't really matter. She was pretty sure her look got to him either way.

She dusted herself down, getting rid of all traces of where she had been. She stretched up, touched her toes and then kicked her legs out a few times whilst shaking her arms. The funny tingling feeling you get when your joints 'fall asleep' buzzed through her, as though her entire body had been enjoying a well-earned rest.

She deliberately cut into the edge of the forest that was alongside the gargantuan lake, just so she was hidden once more. Maybe she was paranoid, she didn't know, but she knew her spot was too good to give up.

The Prefect slunk her way back to the castle, checking around for any students. Some Sixth-Years had taken residence up ahead by the lake, but she wasn't worried about them, for all they did was try to find new ways to shag each other.

Lily picked up her pace, not wanting to be late for her detention.

Despite the fact she gave off an appearance of a model student, Lily really wasn't. She didn't pay attention in any classes, really –save maybe Charms and Potions-, she just found the lessons rather easy and hardly challenging, even though it made her sound about as pompous as Potter. She still studied and completed her homework all the same, but her focus for the hour-long lesson was something to be worked upon. Sleeping and note passing frequented.

Detentions were a whole other deal. Despite her hardest attempts, she just couldn't seem to keep herself out of the cursed Friday nights with a one caretaker, Mr. Filch. It was hardly surprising really, given her temper and attitude, even if she was one of the favourite students at the school.

She pushed her way through the crowd of people heading for dinner, occasionally yelling and stamping on toes, but made it through all the same.

The usual meeting point for detention was the other end of the Great Hall, but it would be hardly possible to reach there with the throngs of people all around.

Her eyes scanned for the malevolent-looking caretaker, and found him waiting with Potter some way down the vast hall.

The Prefect hurried her way over to the two, earning a lecture on punctuality from Filch, and a glare from Potter. Why was _he_ glaring? It was his fault! Her eyes naturally narrowed at him in return.

As suspected, the two were assigned to clean cauldrons. Without magic, of course. He left the two to divide up the large pile and get to work, as he sauntered up and down the corridor, popping in every ten minutes or so to check that they were still working diligently. They weren't, obviously, but they managed to scour a good amount after a while. This was probably due to the fact that not much conversation was taking place, both blaming their current situation on the other.

But, soon enough, James's ridiculous attempts at cleaning got to the redhead.

"Potter, what the hell are you doing?"

The boy flipped around to face Lily, up to his arms in grime, soapy suds and a large scrubbing brush in hand. His hazel eyes narrowed.

"Cleaning!" he snapped.

"Really?" she bit back, "I thought you were trying to recreate a water park in the damn dungeons with the amount of suds you're spilling everywhere!"

"What's a water park?" he asked, confused.

"Doesn't matter!"

"Then why did you ask if I was trying to make one?"

"Because you are being ridiculously messy!"

"I'm not!" he protested, though it was hardly true. His once-white shirt was now wet and grey in many places, his hair messier than usual and the pile of unclean cauldrons were strewn out around him.

"Yeah," she replied, sarcasm clear in her voice. Her pile was nearly done, and she had managed to stay clean throughout the whole affair, only having to roll up her sleeves a way up her arm to keep them out of the leftover residue of various potions.

"I'm _sorry_ I don't clean properly," he muttered.

She rolled her eyes and ignored him.

He mumbled something incoherent under his breath, huffed, and returned to his very messy style of cleaning.

A fair hour later, the two finished and were sent off by Filch, with another lecture and a good glare.

The old man was just so bitter. Being a Squib had its advantages in some ways… maybe. Still, he didn't need to hate every wizard alive because of the fact he didn't have any magical powers and they did.

No idle small talk was conversed as the two left, both still glaring vigilantly at the other. Lily was set on her way to the Common Room, whilst James made a left, going the other way, which lead to Hufflepuff's part of the castle.

She didn't have the time or energy to question him on his goings.

The Prefect walked slowly, thinking up of excuses why she was missing all day. She had several excuses, legitimate or otherwise, that McGonagall had called her for Prefect duty, -but she would probably need Remus for that, that she had an all-day detention, that she was tutoring another in Charms or Potions, that she was taken by evil forces and kept hidden until she finally broke free at the end of the day… the list got more ridiculous.

The Fat Lady was her usual self, slightly drunk in her frame with her friend, Violet, the witch from a portrait down on the First-Floor. Lily had to repeat the password (Amoretto,) several times before she understood, which altogether did not leave her in an all too good mood.

"Lily!" was her greeting, given by Marlene, who had moved from this morning to the circular table in the corner of the room, from the soft couch. "B was looking for you," she called, "did she find you?"

"Nope," the redhead laughed, making her way to the table where the blonde girl was sitting.

"Oh," she replied as Lily pulled the chair out next to her and sat herself down. "That's strange… She went looking for you almost…" her eyes flicked to the clock. "Merlin, its seven?"

Lily nodded.

"Lil, where _have_ you been?"

"Here, there, everywhere," she muttered vaguely. "Just got out of detention. Filch is a prat."

"Yes, we all know." She nodded. "So you haven't run into our most lovely friend Bethany?"

"Nope."

"Strange…"

* * *

"Bumble, where the hell have you been?" was the dazed girl's greeting as she stumbled through the portrait hole.

She had been a bit wonderstruck, to say the least. She had made a few rather pathetic wrong-turns, ones a First-Year would make, on her way back to the Common Room. It was a sure bet she was still a bit flattered to hear the lovely things the boy with the pretty eyes had said to her.

"What?" she mumbled.

"Beth!" the redhead snapped at her, clapping her hands together in front of her face. "Snap out of it!"

"Lily! What? I was looking for you!" she narrowed her eyes at the stony face of her best friend's.

"Bum, I've been here for like the past three hours! Its nearly curfew!" her pink eyes flew to the great grandfather clock at the back of the room, by the staircase to the dorms. Damn, Lily was right. It was nearly nine.

"Wow. Sorry, Ginge, didn't notice the time."

"You have seriously been looking for me the _whole_ time?"

Even though she was lying, the girl nodded. It was easier than explaining what she had really been doing (walking into empty classrooms, the second floor bathrooms -where she had a rather unfortunate encounter with the toilets ghost, Moaning Myrtle-, and various other strange places, all while her head was still back in a certain broom cupboard).

"Aw, aren't you the sweetheart," she laughed. "Marl said you lost it when you couldn't find me by lunch-"

"We call her Margarine now, dear." The strangeness inside her stomach was making its way to her mouth.

"Th- what?" the Prefect looked at her in the utmost curiosity.

"Margarine. Sounds better than Marl or Marlene. Then we can shorten said name down to Marge or something."

"O…Kay?"

She lamely grinned at the girl opposite.

"Bumble, you okay?"

Okay? Shocked, yes. Flattered, of course. Okay? She was not so sure on. "Yeah, yeah, glad to see your back," she muttered, lying again.

"You of all people know better than to worry about me, you prat."

She was silent for a moment. "Lil, do you know Jamal Stark?"

"Who?"

"Jamal Stark? Grey eyes? Dirty blonde brown hair? Ring any bells?"

She thought for a moment.

"The Slytherin?"

_Of course_. Slytherin. Explained it all. He didn't really like her, then. She tried to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach.

"You sure he's in Slytherin?" she heard herself ask.

"He's the Slytherin Prefect, I think I'd know."

And there she was, convinced he might have actually been serious when he called her beautiful and special.

She blinked a few times and shook her head.

"Night," she mumbled before starting to head to the stairwell.

The redhead eyed her speculatively before replying. "You look tired so I'm going to do the _right_ thing and let you sleep, but you are explaining this to me in the morning!"

"Mm-hm," she mumbled again, before stumbling and ascending the right staircase.

"Well, I'm not going to pretend that wasn't one of the most weirdest things ever."

Not staying true to her word, Lily followed Beth up the stairs to the dormitory a few minutes later, and despite her best attempts at refusal, ended up caving in and explained everything that had just happened, _sans_ Snape. As much as she hated the bloke because of his casual use of the appalling word, she didn't think Lily would be all too pleased to hear about what they had to say about her. Although she tried not to show it, Bethany knew her best friend was very hurt over what he had called her, and didn't think it seemed fit to go and repeat the conversation she had overheard.

She just changed the conversation half to only Mulciber on his own, for everyone knew they had a mutual dislike of the other, and that she just didn't want to see him, and that was the reason for her hasty cupboard-entering. To her gratitude, Lily listened intently, only nodding and occasionally humming in distaste or agreement.

Once she was finished, Lily pondered the situation for a while, until she opened her mouth to speak once more. "I think…" she began "I think you shouldn't get too caught up in this." Beth looked at her speculatively. "No, don't look like that! You don't know the bloke, right?" She nodded. "And from as far as I know, you have been trying to impress someone that is _not_ specifically him, correct?"

Beth opened her mouth to speak, but snapped it shut moments after. _Yes_, she had been spending a lot more effort on her looks than per usual, but it wasn't for _one_ specific person. It was just for the general male gender. She couldn't place it, but she had been feeling somewhat alone these past few months. She had her friends, of course, but she was slightly starved of human closeness. She didn't have anyone to hold close, to hug and cuddle, someone who she could argue with loads and know that it would most probably all be alright five minutes later. She wanted something lovely like the in the books Hestia read, about comedic romance and sappy stuff. She just nodded her head once more.

"So the don't get yours-"

"LILY!" Marlene came busting into the dorm, slightly panting and very, _very_ angry.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing! But that complete and utter _bastard_ you hung around with for five years did!"

"What?"

"Snape's outside the tower trying to get in, and when I went to go and see him off he was all 'Oh blah, blah I'm not leaving until I speak to Lily, I'll be here _all_ night this will make her friends with me again blah, blah, I don't want to speak with people like _you_, I want _Lily_'." She spoke very quickly, glaring furiously.

Beth's face blanched.

"I'm sure that was a perfect recollection, sweetie." Lily joked. "But really, he's got to know I pretty much cant stand to hear his name, let alone actually speak with him."

"I tried to tell him! Now go!"

"What?" she asked again.

"The greasy idiot is scaring off the First-Years and most of the seconds. I don't blame them, obviously, but I think it seems fitting to go and tell him to get the hell out, don't you?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "Ugh, I hate being such a good person." She pushed herself up off her bed. Bethany wanted to say something, tell her not to go, tell her exactly what the two had been saying, but nothing came. "I'll be back, okay?" she said, turning to her. She nodded once more, trying to show her panic through her face, telling her not to go, because from her sources –and they were _very _reliable- he was a Death Eater. Or at least, one in training.

Lily wore the oddest expression, and didn't take heed of the emotion the Metamorphagus was trying to explain.

The Prefect nodded slightly, and flew out of the door, leaving her alone, Marlene disappearing some time ago.

Lily nearly tripped on every step. Her palms were clammy, her heart beating slightly faster than normal, and she felt like she had just run a marathon.

Don't listen to him, don't forgive him, was her mantra that she kept repeating. She didn't want to. She wanted him out of her life. He couldn't say something like that one moment, then change his mind and threaten to camp out in the corridor so she would forgive him. It just didn't work like that.

She ignored everyone in the Common Room, undoubtedly knowing that they all knew her current predicament, including an unwashed Slytherin and threats to sleep somewhere other than a bed.

She pushed her way outside, and was met by the elated face of Sev. He opened his mouth to speak, but she silenced him.

"No, Sev, shh. Let me talk." He willingly obliged, seeming to be overjoyed by the fact she actually came to speak with him. "You can't do this!" His face fell. "Camping outside the Common Room? What are you even thinking? You're scaring all the lower classmen, and from what I heard you were rather horrible to Marlene as well! Really, Sev? You think being horrible to my friends and making ridiculous threats is going to make me want to forgive you? I can't! You don't call someone that, no matter what the situation, especially if they were you best friend!"

He picked up on the use of the word 'were'.

"You… You're not my friend?" he choked out.

"No!" He looked to be on the verge of tears. "Not to seem cold hearted or anything, but can you _honestly_ blame me? You called me a Mudblood! I'm not going to give in and forgive you after only about twenty-eight hours!"

"But… I didn't _mean_-"

"You obviously did, didn't you?!" she screeched, loosing her already frail composure. "And now not _only_ have you upset me from yesterday, you've also ruined my rather good day," albeit this was an utter lie, but still, to make him feel as bad as possible was her aim, "with your _pathetic_ attempts of apologizing!"

He backtracked, recoiling at the fury of the small girl. "Oh, and was the day so good because you got to spend it with darling _Potter_?" he sneered.

She would have honestly slapped him if she didn't already know that was exactly what he wanted her to do, or something along those lines. He just wanted a reaction from her.

"Goodbye, Sev. Camp out here all week long if you must. Just let everyone through, and cover your ears when they enter the password. I'm _never_ forgiving you."

She turned on her heel and stalked off before he could get another word in.

* * *

**A/N:** Just thought I would use this little comment part here as a farewell to the Ponds. I was in sobs at 'The Angels take Manhattan'. I don't think I've ever cried like I did then. Not even at Doomsday, and that's saying something! Anyway, please please please leave a review, anything is better than nothing.

Thankingly and sobbingly yours,

Ruby


	3. This is Going to be a Long Morning

**A/N:** Hola amigos! Here with chapter three, and I am just going to say I honestly apologise for this one. I hate it. So, so much. I re-wrote the beginning so many times, and I honestly feel mean! Also, I just hope you like my take on Lily and James. To me, they are hard characters to portray, mainly because I feel like a failure if I write them incorrectly or if another writer writes them in a way I hate. Does that make sense? It's kind of as though I have my own personal image of them in my head, and I just hope you like my way of seeing them. Anyway, read on!

**Disclaimer:** All the loveliness that is Harry Potter and any characters associated with said series belong to Queen Rowling. Ideas belong to a certain ever-changing playlist of my own design. Only the crappy and fluffy writing is mine.

* * *

-Chapter 3-

This is Going to be a Long Morning

"All our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last." - Marcel Proust

"Get the hell up! Pack! Hest, go back to your own dorm, for Merlin's sake! Good grief, you're all a bunch of immature little bints!"

Lily's eyes fluttered open, angry she had been so rudely awoken. "Ser, I know you get panicky when we have to pack, but, in the politest way possible, _shut the hell up_."

"Oh, how nice of you to join us." She shot back, acknowledging Lily's awakening. "Get up, go have a shower, and start packing. Hest, go get her a coffee."

"I thought you wanted me to go back to my own dorm and pack?"

"This is a far more dire situation. I am _not_ sitting in a compartment all day with _her_ being Satan's incarnation."

"Right-o," she muttered, giving the frantic girl a strange look, and headed for the door. "Good luck to you all. I hope you make it out alive." With a final salute, she slid out of the door.

"Lily, get out of bed!"

"I'm doing it, I'm doing it!" the redhead tossed herself over, sliding her legs out from under the covers, and propped herself up. Her feet touched the ground underneath her and with a last heave she pulled her resisting body from its quilted haven.

The room looked as though a bomb had hit it.

Clothes and shoes and books and Merlin-knows-what-else where all strewn haphazardly around the circular room. Beth was awake as well, and looked as though she was trying to fix her bed's curtain rail. Serena was pacing the room, picking up various objects and throwing them into several different piles. Mary was nowhere to be found. One of her other roommates, Demetria Vouch, was still asleep, her wild dark brown hair splayed over her pillow. Lily knew from last-year's packing epidemic that she was quite the heavy sleeper, so the fact she was still asleep didn't surprise her in the least.

What _did _surprise her, though, was that her only other dorm mate, Kitty Modrick, -who wasn't on the best of terms with Beth, so with her being her best friend and all, she didn't speak much to her- was actually in the dormitory. She was a resident of Gryffindor, of course, but her time wasn't usually spent in the Common Room or otherwise. It was usually spent in her various lover-of-the-week's bed, or on the occasion, in the Hospital Wing for 'private-reasons', which nearly everyone knew to be the occasional spot of alcohol poisoning. But there she was, cleaning up the mess on her side, humming to herself as she threw bits of clothes that weren't her own into the centre of the room, casual as anything, oblivious to the fact the girl a few beds down had planned her untimely death a number of times.

With the way Serena was now yelling at Beth for wasting time, she guessed that her friend had worked herself up in a such a panic that she no longer cared whether her other dorm mate who she wasn't that close with thought she was mad or not. By the way Kitty was smirking to herself, she guessed she found the telling off amusing, if nothing else.

"What _happened_ in here?" the Prefect finally spluttered out, flailing her arms around, miming to the ungodly mess.

Serena flipped herself around, her curly hair not yet been tamed, falling about her face, and springing up to her chin. "Shh. Shower, dear," replied Serena patronizingly. "Your towel is…" her magnified brown eyes scanned the room from behind her large frames. "There! Found it!" She pointed to the heap of pink by Mary's bed. Lily made her way over and picked it up.

"Where is she, anyway?" she asked, nodding to Mary's empty bed.

"Bathroom."

Just as the words left her mouth, the china-doll-esque girl appeared from the door leading to the Fifth-Year girl's bathroom.

"Shower's free!"

"Thanks," Lily replied and made her way in herself.

"No problem," she laughed, running a hand through her long, wet hair. "Anyone seen the radio?"

"I think it was propped up in my left shoe the last time I saw it," Beth said sarcastically, shooting a look at her bespectacled friend.

"Stop moaning and pack for Merlin's sake!"

"So what? If I leave anything here I doubt it will matter! We'll be back next year, same room, same bed, same everything! Heck, I may as well leave everything here!"

If looks could kill, Bethany would certainly be dead.

"Leave her alone, B," Mary muttered, making her way to her bed. "If you haven't got the radio, do you have my record player? You can hardly loose _that."_

"It's here," Kitty called over, nodding to the large deck by the door.

"Thank you!" she called back, and flicked her wand to the object in question. Beth's frown deepened. "Oh, get over it! It was nearly two years ago!" Mary hissed when she noticed her look.

Beth huffed and flicked a plait over her shoulder. Today her hair was in two long French braids that finished just past her chest, with wispy bangs that swept across her forehead. It was a flaming red, with the tips being a bright gold, probably in celebration of ending school, but still wanting to show her Gryffindor pride.

"You don't know anything," she spat back venomously.

Mary rolled her eyes and continued in her search for her chosen record.

"Have you even _begun_ to pack, Mare?" Serena asked after a while, once Mary had returned from under her bed with a slightly dusty collection of about thirty-odd cases filled with vinyl.

"Yes…" she lied casually.

"Mary Elizabeth Wright!" she huffed indignantly. "We have little over four hours before we board that train, and so help me I will have _no _problems with leaving you!"

"Oh that's _nice_."

"All of you are so irri-"

"Little birds in their nests agree," a firm voice from behind them cut in. "Coffee delivery," she answered to the unspoken question, waving the steaming cup slightly.

"I asked Hestia to do that,"

"What? She can't go down to breakfast, tell me her mission then completely forget about it because she has lost herself in a conversation with a certain Beater she claims to despise?" she shook her head in mock-disgrace, "Girls, I thought I raised you better."

"Yeah, yeah, shh. You're about the only other one I trust to get everyone in line, Alice, so I am hoping you're all set?"

"Ship-shape and ready to go!"

"Perfect. Now can you please try and convince these dolts to do the same?"

"Sweetie, Beth is packing," she waved her hand in her direction, "and while I'm not all together sure about Mare, she looks like she's on the _road_ to packing… And Lil is up, right? That's an improvement! Last year we had to pack for her because she wasn't up until an hour before the train!"

"Yes, that's all well and good, but what if we leave something really important, and I know B said that it wouldn't matter because we're here next year and while yes that's true what if its life or death important and we don't have it because its at the back of the closet and then we'll die because we can't get it until September, and-and-"

"SERENA." Mary cut off. "_Please_ don't make me give you all that Calming Drought again. It was a _nightmare_ to brew, even with Lily's help!"

"But-but we're going to die!"

"Someone fetch Marlene and get Lily as soon as she's available?"

"I'm on it," Beth chimed in, dropping her crinkled shirts and hastily making her way across the room.

"No, she needs to –But what –she's leaving-"

"Breathe," Alice soothed. "I'll put B's stuff away. Go sit down and _breathe_." Serena nodded and complied with the orders, taking a seat at the edge of Lily's bed, for it was nearest, and began to inhale and exhale deeply, dragging out each breath.

Mary noticed the pair of eyes that were watching the scene intently.

"Don't act like you haven't seen her in a worse state," she snapped to the girl at the edge of the room, whose eyes had once been trained on Serena with the oddest expression, flew to meet her hard gaze. "You were here last year. I know it's hard, but just ignore her, or by the time she comes to and stops panicking, she'll get shy and embarrassed for how she behaved, which is just as bad as her being like this. And it will be worse if she knew you saw, because we all know she's off her head, whereas you probably –or until recently- didn't know."

"I wasn-"

"Just leave her be, okay?"

Kitty nodded, a grim line and an odd color on her cheeks that looked like a blush crossing over her face, as she turned back down to her trunk.

For the most part, Mary was rather pleased with herself. Kitty Modrick was an outspoken and rather confident girl, and she had just shut her up. But, it also made her feel strangely uneasy, for the girl's attitude this morning was anything but usual. Last year she was yelling and telling them all to shut up, contrary to know, her being quiet and quite the pushover. But, being the practical girl she was, she shrugged it off and threw a load more balled up pairs of socks into the corner of her large trunk. This was going to be a long morning.

* * *

"Marl, stop! Not yet! No, no, Merlin, STOP!" Lily screeched, as Marlene was about to add in a bluish tinted root to the cauldron.

"Hell, Lil! Potions freak."

"Yes, yes, that's me, potions freak, blah, blah, " she muttered, scowling at the blonde. "But you do realize if you had added that now you would have just practically blown the whole thing up?"

"If you mean by 'blown the whole thing up' that it would just turn a darker shade of blue than necessary," she raised her eyebrow, knowing she was right when Lily's face reddened slightly, "I'm not even going to bother, Evans."

"Oh ha, ha," she grumbled, taking the roots from her, and chopping them up even finer than they already were. "Makes it more prudent," she explained before Marlene could even open her mouth.

"Brilliant. Is there a chance enough of this stuff could send Ser into comatose?"

"You're the kind of girl the devil looks up to."

"Aw, you're to sweet."

Lily's eyes rolled as she stirred the milky white liquid once more before adding in the roots. The potion bubbled softy and emitted a sky blue hue, as the liquid inside flew through various shades of the color, before finally settling on a blue just a shade darker than the smoke's.

"Perfection."

"Modesty."

"You don't _need_ modesty when you know its perfect."

"Watch yourself, or you might just end up with a head as big as the one you always complain Potter has," she teased.

"Ugh, make my morning worse, why don't you?"

"So now the mere mention of his _name_ has you in tears?"

"Pretty much."

"That poor, poor boy."

"Pfft, please." She huffed, "I'll bet you anything he doesn't even like me."

Marlene raised an eyebrow. "And that means?"

"Well, its not like we've ever been friends, is it? He doesn't _know_ me. And it's not as though he hasn't had girlfriends while he was asking me out. I'm just leaning towards the fact that he knows it irritates me and likes winding me up, which _does_ make sense, for he has been the bane of my existence for the past five years."

"Nice use of denial there."

"Oh you know it makes sense," she huffed again, waving her off with her hand. "Let's get this to Serena before she sets fire to something."

Marlene watched her extract several vials of the potion and shove stoppers into them, no doubt saving them for the next few hours. She wanted to speak up and belittle everything she had just stated, but she really wasn't in a mood for a fight this early. She knew Lily was being ridiculous about the whole thing, because everyone knew the poor boy was head-over-heels for her. No one short of love would constantly ask out someone, even after a year's worth of rejection, or would practically wet themselves at a chance to do the smallest of things that might appease her. She was surprised he had waited this long to begin his reign of devotion. Anyone with half a brain could see he has liked her for far longer than he let on. The trouble was, when it came to him, Lily was in less than half a state of mind. It was quite tragic, she thought. She would rather like to see the two together, along with most of the group, but they would never tell for fear of her temper.

"Hello?" Lily's voice broke in, snapping her out of her reverie. "Fate of the Fifth-Years dorm rests in our hands," she waved a handful of vials in front of the blonde's startled face.

"Yeah, yeah, Miss Overdramatic."

"Miss Practical, more like."

Marlene's blue eyes rolled, but went along nonetheless.

"Ten sickles says Alice needs a vial or two as well," Lily spoke up.

"You're on." Marlene grinned.

"That's great, I don't have enough for trolley this year. You just bought me two Chocolate Frogs."

"_Or_ you just got me a packet of Droobles and a licorice wand."

"You wish." She snorted as she made her way up the moving staircase backwards, eyes trained on Marlene, who had yet to take the first step. "You just know I'm-" she cut off as her back hit into someone. "Oh, Merlin, sorry!" she began and she flipped around to face her victim. When she saw who it was, her face was as red as a tomato.

"No problem," the boy grinned.

"Yeah, okay," she muttered, shuffling to the side to get around him. He blocked her path. "Excuse me."

"I was actually meaning to talk to you…" he began.

"Bit busy here."

"With?"

"Potential sanity of my friends."

His eyebrow rose. "You really haven't changed. Still as pretty as ever, flower."

The Prefect blushed furiously. "Shut up." She snapped.

"Ah, don't act like you don't like me calling you that."

She ignored the last comment. "Come on, Marlene," she beckoned; her eyes still focused on her blockaders blue ones. "If you'll excuse me," she said, pushing past him and racing up the steps.

"I'll find you on the train," he called up to her as she reached the top steps.

"Not if I beat you down to a pulp first," Marlene retorted threateningly as she passed him.

"Ah, Marl, nothing changes. Still your usual, wonderfully kind self."

"Leave her alone."

"Who's going to stop me?" he taunted.

"Me," she bit back venomously.

"Oh, I'm _terrified_."

"You should be, you bloody wanker."

"Marlene!" Lily called.

"Watch yourself," she hissed in goodbye as she stalked up the steps.

Marlene had good reason to loathe Jesse Holloway. He was smooth talking and slick walking, and entered a room like he owned the place. She despised people like that alone. But that wasn't the reason. Him and Lily had a rather bad history, and that was where the problem started.

He had a knack for sweeping her off her feet, then bringing her down like an anchor. She honestly cared for him, no matter how much she denied it, and he took advantage of that fact. He cheated on her; he was mean to her and then all of a sudden acted like a lovesick puppy. He was jealous whenever she talked to other guys, and always ended it. And what's worse is he always somehow managed to make the break up her fault. She was sweet and thoughtful, and that made her perfect prey for him. She was always overjoyed whenever he asked her out again, saying that maybe, because they are "older now," they can perhaps make this work. When she agreed he would change her. She would stop being so flighty, so talkative and her temper would die down. He tried to convince her that her friends were a bad influence on her, and she would then begin to shy away from them all. When he finally dropped the nice act because he had her too far under, he began turning back into the horrible person that he is. He would sleep around with any other girl he could get, tell her she wasn't good enough and that she was lucky he stuck around, yell at her for being unfaithful when she got the slightest bit of attention from another guy. She would begin to stop eating, stop speaking and all together close up. He was like a poison she could never give up, because, in truth, she really did love him. The fact was that he didn't.

The had all tried to talk her out of it, to deny him the opportunity to turn her into a shell of herself, but she always turned to the defensive. The more they encouraged saying no, the more she was firm on her decision of yes. That was just how she worked. And now, it seemed he was back to make her miserable once more.

"Lil," Marlene began once she reached her, "Y'okay?"

"Fine." She replied quickly. "Come on."

She complied willingly, shooting her most disgusted and hate-filled look towards the boy at the end of the staircase.

They walked in silence until they reached the Tower.

"We bring fair tidings!" Lily announced as they strode into her dorm, completely changing her attitude from fifteen minutes ago.

The room handy changed much, except for gaining a few new members. Demetria had awoken and was silently making her bed, Hestia had come back from breakfast with a second coffee for Lily, and Alice's cousin, Hollie, the Head Girl, was there too.

"Oh thank _Merlin_!" Beth practically shouted in relief. "Just throw all you have at Ser and Alice, bloody hell!"

Lily smirked "Chocolate Frogs for me, it seems."

"Oh hush up," Marlene snapped from beside her. Lily's smug grin was all she got in response.

"Oh, Al-iiice! Ser-eeena!" she sang as she strolled over to the pair sitting at the edge of her bed. "Bottoms up!" two vials were thrust into each of their faces, causing them to start.

"Thank you," Serena practically sobbed in relief, downing the thing in one.

"I don't need it!" Alice insisted, to Marlene's delight. "I'm _totally_ fine," she began again.

"No, you aren't." Lily grumbled, "Drink." With a slight amount of resisting on Alice's part, she finally managed to get her friend to down the potion like Serena had just done.

"Ten sickles, my good friend." Marlene began in a haughty and posh accent, handing over the shiny silver coins to the expectant redhead.

"It was a pleasure doing business with you," Lily replied in the same tone.

"Alright," Hollie began, "I still have to check on all the younger years to see if they've packed. Can I leave you lot?"

"Yes," Beth sighed. "We've got those two under control," she nodded to Serena and Alice, who were both calmly wandering the room, picking up stay ties and socks.

"What about you two?" she asked, turning over to Demetria and Kitty in the left corner.

Demetria only nodded, for she liked to keep quiet and unobserved. It was different from Serena's quiet though. Demetria acted as though talking to people was a terrifying thought, and that it should be avoided at all costs. In all of five years, Lily was sure she had only ever heard her say a few sentences, them being along the lines of "Hello, my name is Demetria Vouch," and "Can you please pass me that book?" in her heavy accent. She was sure Demetria was from somewhere near Bulgaria, but due to the fact she didn't speak much, she never found out. Despite her strange background –why was she here in England and at Hogwarts, if her suspicions were correct- everything about her practically screamed 'plain'. Her only interesting asset was that she had nice eyes, which had naturally long lashes and a piercing, almost white color about them. Her nose, unfortunately, was rather large and a tad crooked, with a few red spots scattered across it. Her hair was uncontrollable, as she had seen the poor girl try to tame her fluffy brown mane many times. Lily was sure she had never seen the girl smile, so she had no idea about the state of her teeth.

Kitty mumbled a yes, and didn't even turn to answer. It wasn't uncommon for the brunette to be rude, but Hollie was only being nice, and she was Head Girl, so she deserved at least a little respect in that sense.

When she thought about it, Lily really didn't understand how she got so many men. Sure, she had unusually large womanly assets –she was sure she had put an Enlargement Charm on her chest and backside, for they were inhumanly big- but other than that, she wasn't really pretty. Her eyes were a dull shade of brown, and her hair slightly lanky and dirty blonde, and fell just below her shoulders. She had nice skin, though, a lovely tan shade, which was always far darker when she returned from the summer. Other than that, she really wasn't a very nice person. She was grumpy in the mornings she was in the dorm, and rude to just about everyone that crossed her path. It was strange, today, for she wasn't acting as rude as she usually was. But, a nice Kitty was far better than a mean one, so Lily didn't question it.

"Okay…" Hollie said, looking slightly put out. Hestia sent her a look that just said 'don't worry, they're like that," and watched her shrug it off. "Okay," she repeated. "Have all your belongings down in the Common Room within the next two hours." She smiled warmly and left. Lily had never really spoken to Hollie, for she was slightly intimidated by the Seventh-Year, but knew she was nice enough. She looked a lot like Alice, except that she was tall instead of short, and her hair was long, not short. They both had the same nose, but different eyes and mouth. While Alice had large eyes and full lips, Hollie had small eyes and thin lips, which gave her a look of constant grimness.

They all watched the Head Girl leave, and then returned to their obvious jobs. Serena, Alice and Beth's trunks were all clamped close, with Kitty trying to shut hers now. Lily's things were piled high on her bed, and her trunk decidedly empty. Mary was searching under her bed once more, no doubt looking for a lost record of hers. Marlene had retreated back up to her own dorm, for she had still yet to pack.

This was going to be a long morning.

* * *

"_Shit_, Padfoot!"

"Damn! Sorry, sorry, sorry!"

"Don't say sorry to _me_!" James yelled, as the slimy purple glop spilled around the floor, sizzling away at the carpet as it moved. "This is Moony's stuff!"

"Can't we clean it up?"

"And have our skin burnt off?" he asked rhetorically "I don't care about his robes _that_ much!"

"We could at least get them away," he explained, as he jumped up onto Remus's bed and clambered over to the pile of his things. "Just try to keep the acid away okay?"

"Why the fuck do you have this stuff anyway?"

"I didn't _know_ it was deadly! I thought it would be fun to slime someone!" he defended quickly, "but then I saw the label and I had already brought it and…." He trailed off.

"Where did you get it?"

"Reg's room. Who knew, eh?"

"Yes, the lovely boy forever keeps us on our toes," James deadpanned.

"Hold these, will you?" Sirius asked as her threw several books and items of clothing in his direction. "Now if we can corner this stuff…" he began, eying the offensive goo in speculation.

"Go get Howie," James sighed. "It will be quicker and less destructive."

"Meh," Sirius grunted in response, neither agreeing nor disagreeing with the statement. He jumped off the bed and made his way over to another across the room. "HM!" he called.

The boy in the bed stirred. "Leave me alone, Black."

"Will do, mate, but cant you spare a moment of genius for your dear friends?"

"What have you done?"

"I may or may not have spilt purple acid all over the floor near Remus's bed…"

"Oh, well done." He muttered into his pillow.

"Thanks!" Sirius replied brightly. "But, y'see, I need your brilliant intellect and careful hand to help me and James clean it up…"

"You're both ridiculous," he groaned, rolling himself out of the bed, his quilt still wrapped loosely around him.

"You're _fantastic_." Sirius grinned, as the half asleep boy fumbled around to find his wand.

"Yeah, yeah." He finally found what he was looking for, and turned to the mess on the other side of the room. Half of the floor was now being burnt away, clouds of black smoke billowing up from every corner the thing touched. James had moved himself from his position to on top of Peter's bed, even though the boy was still sleeping in it.

"Hell…" Howard moaned. "Its too early for this."

"No, no, no," Sirius chided, "You said you would help."

"What even _is_ it?"

"Acidic purple goo." He stated matter-of-factly. "Duh."

Howie rolled his eyes, but waved his wand and muttered a spell nonetheless. A large glass container appeared and the almost liquid was caught in it. "Because I just know you're going to want to use it again." He grumbled as he handed the now full jar to Sirius.

"Thanks a million!"

"Yeah, yeah." He mumbled, stumbling back to his bed.

"You probably shouldn't go back to bed," James called.

"And why not?" Howie asked, flopping down on his bed anyways.

"Train leaves soon. Need to pack." He reminded.

"Is that what you're doing?"

"Were," he admitted. "But I'm done now, and so is Sirius. Moony packed last night and Pete is just… well, Pete. He always leaves something either way."

"Well it may have escaped your notice, but like Remus, I packed last night too."

"Brill."

"Now can I sleep?"

"You may."

"Oh why thank you," he snorted before rolling onto his side.

"Should we wake up Wormtail?" Sirius asked a few moments later.

James thought about it for a while, before finally sighing "Yeah."

"Excellent," he laughed, running over to join James on Peter's bed. "Do you think it would be fun to splash him with the acid?" he grinned. "_That _is a sure-fire way to get him up."

"No."

"Ugh, boring."

"Killing and/or maiming of fellow Marauders is against the rules."

"What rules?"

"_The_ rules!"

Sirius huffed. "Oi, Pete," he said loudly, shaking the boy slightly. "Pete!" he said, slightly louder. "PETER!" he almost yelled, slapping him around the back of the head.

It had the desired effect. "Muh? Wha?"

"Time to pack!"

"Back home today!" James reminded.

"Oh shit! Today?" Peter groaned, sitting up in his bed.

"Yes today!"

"Ey, keep it down!" The three turned to see their other roommate, Jonathan Trice, James's fellow Chaser, glaring at them.

"Sorry," Peter muttered.

"J-Man!" Sirius grinned, "Join the party!"

"Do one," he grumbled, before sending him a very rude hand gesture.

"You packed?" James asked.

"No. You?"

"Yeah."

"Brownie points for you, then."

"Brownie- what?"

"Muggle term, don't worry."

"If you say so," James shrugged.

"If your gonna yell go join all the other prats in the Common Room, please."

"Go back to sleep," Peter advised.

"I would if you lot would shut up!" he snapped.

"Worms, it really isn't in your best interest to be rude to people twice the size of you."

"I'm not a morning person."

"Never said you were," Sirius stated coolly.

He glared for a moment. "Can't you two pack for me?"

They both laughed. "No."

"Please?"

"Nope."

He huffed. "Where's Moony?"

"He wont pack for you either, mate."

"You don't know that."

"This really isn't our problem," James grumbled. "I'm hungry."

"Breakfast?" Sirius asked.

He nodded. "Later, Worms." They both climbed off his bed.

"Leaving wont make me pack,"

"I don't care if you leave everything here," he laughed. "It's your fault."

"Brilliant mates you are."

"The best." Both James and Sirius said together, as they went through the door. They rushed down the steps and through the Common Room, until they reached their destination.

"You weren't really hungry, where you?" Sirius asked as they reached the doors.

"Nah," he replied, pushing them open anyway.

His best mate shrugged and followed him through as they both took a seat on the Gryffindor table, near the House team's Beaters, Gideon and Fabian Prewett.

"Morning," they both greeted the two.

"Morning Protégé," they nodded to James. "Other Protégé," they said, this time to Sirius. The 'Protégé' joke had begun in Second-Year, when James had made the House team, despite his young age, and Sirius had been found with many different girls, from First-Years to Fourth-Years, in various broom cupboards. The twins had decided then that the two were pretty much themselves in younger form, and had from then on nicknamed them 'The Protégés".

"What's been going on?" James asked as he served himself some eggs.

"Nothing really, just the usual," Fabian said.

"And that entails?"

"Seducing your best mate's sister at breakfast while she tries to make her friend a coffee."

They both laughed.

"And you, Gid?" Sirius asked.

"Watching your twin brother make a prat of himself in front of a decidedly hot girl who happens to be your mate's sister."

"Fascinating morning, I'm sure."

"Oh, _definitely_."

They all laughed, and tucked into their respectable breakfasts.

"Just out of curiosity," James began, "This girl wouldn't happen to be Hestia McKinnon, known twin of Cory McKinnon, who also happens to be both your best friend?"

"There is no evidence of that case," Fabian said, tossing his head up and flipping his hair.

"Basically," Gideon began, "I'm-Too-Much-Of-A-Stuck-Up-Prat-To-Admit-I-Made-A-Fool-Out-Of-Myself-In-Front-Of-Hestia-McKinnon."

The three began laughing again. Fabian glared at his twin.

Quick to change the subject, Fabian began again "Did you hear?" he asked the two.

"Hear what?" Sirius asked dumbly.

"Our third nephew was born yesterday," he said proudly.

"Molly had _another_ kid?" James asked, shocked.

The twins' eyes narrowed at him.

"I didn't mean it like that!" he said quickly. "I'm happy for you guys," he amended, smiling warmly at them. "What have they called him?"

"Percy," Gideon said. "Rather prattish name, don't you think? We got the owl and all I could think was 'Why call your child _Percy_? There are so many other fabulous names out there! Like Gideon Jr.!'"

"I think Sirius Weasley sounds pretty good," Sirius added in.

"Don't give Molly any ideas," hr grumbled. "We're always the ones left babysitting the buggers," he said, but no amount of grumbling could hide the fondness in his voice. "Charlie's that age now where everything's 'Why? Why?'" he imitated in a childish voice "You walk into a room and he sees a bin and its all 'What that?' and you tell him, and then you are plagued with they 'Why's?'! The only thing he _doesn't_ ask that about is his dragon toys. He's a strange one."

"He's a_ kid_," Fabian chided.

"We weren't that annoying when we were five," he muttered.

"I'm sure you were worse," Sirius laughed.

"Oh, as if you weren't terrible as a kid," he scoffed, "Mum, I'm going to listen to Muggle music on full volume and sing along because I know you hate it! And then I'm going to read Muggle books and Muggle magazines and constantly do my very best to piss you off!"

"You say it like it's a bad thing," Sirius laughed.

"Ah, you two definitely are mini us," Fabian said affectionately.

"I wish we weren't," James joked.

"It is a _privilege_ to be as awesome as we are," he stated.

"_Sure_."

* * *

Hundreds of students all in regular Muggle attire filled Hogsmeade station. Hogwarts students on their way home were slowly filling the bright red steam train for the summer. Goodbyes to the Professors who had escorted them down there were thrown around, and a general hum of talk and laughs echoed around the packed street.

Lily had just boarded then train with Alice, who had to take another vial of the Calming Drought, for she had worked herself up so much she was nearly in tears by the time they finally managed to get some to her.

They made their way to their usual compartment, fourth carriage, third along. Beth and Hestia were already there when they entered.

"Made it through the mob unharmed?" Beth asked as they plopped themselves down on the green cushioned seats.

"Hardly," Lily snorted, "Hit in the arm," she lifted up her right arm, "which I'm pretty sure is going to bruise, and shoved more times than I can count."

Beth laughed. "Better than a few years ago when Mary fell over and nearly broke her neck."

"Only psychopaths laugh at the prospect of people breaking their necks," Hestia chimed in.

"You would know," she grumbled.

Hestia winked, "Of course."

The compartment door slid open once more to reveal Marlene stumbling in, lugging her trunk in after her.

"Any chance of some help?" she snapped.

"Here," a voice from behind her said. She flipped her head around to see Cory McKinnon hold out a hand.

"Oh, may Merlin bless you," she cried, all but falling to the floor in relief as she handed him the madly heavy trunk.

He laughed, "No problem." He picked the thing up with ease as he slid it into the overhead compartment for her.

"You are honestly a life saver," she thanked him, as his cheeks turned slightly pink.

"Its not that big of a deal," he shrugged it off, smiling at her. "S'later," he waved as he slid out of the compartment.

"Brown, please." Hestia groaned.

"Oh, shut up," she snapped. "I can't be friends with your brother?"

"Friends, fine! Ripping each others clothes off in each other's minds, not fine!"

"He is my _friend_," she sounded out, as though she was incapable of comprehending it in any other way.

"Yeah, yeah," she waved her off with a flick of her wrist.

Marlene rolled her eyes and sat down next to Alice. "Where's everyone?" she asked.

"Mary is probably having an hour of passion in the toilets with Reg," Beth said, pulling a face as she said it, "and Serena is probably wandering up and down the carriage, Merlin knows how much of that Drought she drank."

"Perfect," Hestia laughed.

"Only psychopaths laugh at the prospect of people getting trampled to their deaths," Beth mimicked haughtily.

"I've already admitted to my psycho," she laughed again.

Beth huffed indignantly.

They all continued with meaningless chatter, not really worried about their two missing friends, as the train continued to fill. It was only when the train started to move did they actually begin to worry for Serena. They were convinced Mary was with Reginald, after all.

"I think it's time we began the search parties," Lily began. "I'm going to go find her."

"You do that, sweetie."

"No one's going to come along with me?"

"She is going to be outside those doors humming to herself and twirling around, I know it."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine," she huffed as she stalked out of the compartment. The door had barely closed before she popped her head back in. "She isn't in there humming and twirling."

"Check the other carriages," Beth suggested.

"Wow, please hold back on the overload of concern and emotion!" she said, her voice practically dripping with sarcasm. "I'll be back later."

"Brilliant."

"Can't wait."

"Why do I surround myself with you people?" she asked before ducking back out of the compartment.

"Because we're fabulous!" Marlene yelled to the closed door.

"No you're not!" was Lily's faint reply.

"Doesn't know what she's talking about," Beth muttered.

"Never has, never will."

"Be quiet," Alice groaned. "I want to sleep."

"Sorry," they whispered as Alice closed her eyes and curled herself up into a little ball in the corner of the seat.

"Better."

The room was near silent for a while as the three talked quietly, waiting for Alice to drift off, when once again their compartment was intruded upon.

"Hello, ladies!" Sirius called as he strolled in, winking at Hestia "and walking Gryffindor scarves!" he added as he saw Beth's new do.

"Go to your own compartment, Sirius," Beth advised.

"Why?" he taunted. She glared fiercely looking very much as though she wanted to strangle him.

"I think my sister won't like me murdering future cousins, however distant."

"Oh, don't worry, no one on my side will miss me," he said brightly. "You might get a medal of honor from my dear mother though."

"Shut up, Padfoot," James said from behind him. "Ever so sorry," he began, turning to speak to the girls, "but can you please tell me where Evans is?"

"Couldn't if we wanted to," Marlene said.

"And that is because…?"

"She left around fifteen minutes ago."

He nodded, rolling his hand for her to continue.

"I don't know," she said. "She left to find Serena, but it can't take that long, can it?" the last question was directed at Bethany and Hestia, for Alice was now soundly sleeping, even after Sirius's outburst.

"Dunno," Beth said with her mouth full, as she chewed on a Jelly Slug.

"Charming," Sirius nodded to her full mouth, which she responded to with a hand gesture that made him burst out laughing.

"Shut up, Black," Hestia snapped. "Alice is sleeping." She turned back to Marlene. "I don't know either. Was Serena really that high off the stuff?"

Marlene shrugged.

"So you have _no_ idea where she is?" James concluded.

"Nope."

"And _no_ idea when she'll be back?"

"Nope," Hestia repeated.

"Fantastic," he grinned. "Which one is hers?" he asked as he nodded to the trunks above.

"Why?"

"I'm not going to steal anything, I swear." He said innocently, "I just wanted to leave her this." He flipped an envelope up to their faces.

"It hasn't got anything written on it," Marlene pointed out, as the blank envelope cover stared at them.

"Precisely," he said, smirking like he was a total genius.

"And that is because…?" Beth repeated.

"Because if she knows it's from me, she won't open it. So it's best to leave her guessing."

"So you haven't signed your name or anything?" Hestia asked.

"I have _inside_," he explained as if obvious

"Well the what's the point? She'll just throw it out once she sees it's from you."

"_Maybe_, but I'm hoping she'll be curious enough to keep reading."

"This letter is curious?"

"Ever so." He wiggled his eyebrows.

Beth opened her mouth, about to retort something back, but closed it a second later, and just smiled.

"What?" he asked as he opened the trunk with the initials "L.E" and stuffed his letter inside.

"Nothing," she replied, still smiling.

He gave her a strange look as he resealed the thing, and stepped out of the compartment. "Thank you for your time, and I hope you find it in yourselves to keep this from her."

"Will do," Marlene sighed.

"You are all wonderful," he grinned as he closed the door on him and Sirius.

"Where is Lily, anyway?" Beth asked as soon as the both left.

"No idea."

"And no one's seen Serena?"

The three whispered for a while on the whereabouts of their lost friends.

"She can't still be looking for Serena, can she?" Marlene asked rhetorically.

"She _could_ be, but she isn't," Lily said brightly from the door. They hadn't heard it open, but she was standing there, grinning like it was the best day of her life.

"Lily!" Beth snapped, "bloody twat!"

"What did I do?"

"Scared us!"

"…Sorry?" she replied, very sheepish.

"You should be," she huffed, narrowing her eyes in false-anger.

"What's got you so happy?" Hestia asked as she watched Lily fall back down into the seat she had previously owned.

"Nothing," she replied quickly, trying to stifle her grin.

"Really?" Marlene asked. "Is that why you're smiling like a loon?"

"A girl can't smile without being questioned?" she asked, avoiding the question at all costs.

"They can _smile_, but you are borderline psycho-smile."

"Yeah, we want to know if you disposed of the body properly!"

"Hest, I thought you were joking about the psychopath business… You're actually starting to scare me now."

"Sorry, B. I can't help my crazed tendencies."

"Who'd you do in?"

"I didn't kill anyone!" Lily all but yelled. Three furious shhes were hissed at her. "Sorry!" she whispered.

"Its better if she's asleep," Marlene explained. "That way we can save on Drought and not have to constantly be on edge, in case we do something that makes her loose it and that."

Lily nodded.

"Now tell us!" Beth said forcefully.

"I didn't kill anyone," Lily said again, far quieter than the first.

"Okay, we believe you. But what _did_ happen?"

Lily looked at the three uncomfortably. "I don't know if I should tell you…" she bit at her bottom lip, eying them all with uncertainty.

Beth and Hestia glared, while Marlene felt her stomach drop.

"Lily," she warned. "If it's what I think it is, and I pray to Merlin it isn't," her voice grew louder as she went on, "I will honestly break something. What the _hell_ do you think you're playing at?"

"Marley!" she groaned. "It's not like that! He promised this time!"

"What about the _other_ million times he 'promised'?"

Realization hit Bethany. "Oh _hell_ no," she said angrily. "For fuck's sake Lily!"

"This is why I wasn't going to tell you!"

"What's happening?" Hestia moaned, still out of the loop.

"Nothing, Hest, don't worry," Lily said quickly.

"Nothing?" Beth repeated. "_Nothing_?"

"Lily you go and you tell him no!"

"Be the stronger one!"

"Will someone _please_ tell me what the hell is going on?" Hestia snapped.

"Our dear Lily seems it fit to agree to go back out with Jesse Holloway," Marlene said condescendingly.

Her eyes widened. "Lily, you aren't serious?"

"Its different this time!" she protested.

"How?"

"Yes, do enlighten us on how this time is 'different' from the million others!"

"Well, its summer, so we won't have to play up to everyone's expectations…"

"Bullshit!" Beth cried. "Its just his way of saying 'there will be less people around so they won't see me shagging every living thing behind your back'!"

"It's not like that!"

"Yes, it's exactly like that!"

"This is why he said I shouldn't tell you!"

She narrowed her eyes furiously and breathed deeply before continuing in a voice far calmer than she felt, "Lily," another breath, "He's using you. He always had, and he always will. No, no, let me speak," she snapped as Lily opened her mouth to protest. "He doesn't care. He just likes having you by his side because he knows you will forever dote on him. I know you really do care about him, but the stronger thing to do is say no, because it will be so much better for _you_, and for us. Do you think it's fun seeing you loose yourself? Do you think we like knowing that that absolute dick is using our best friend? No! We bloody don't! We care about you too much to watch you do that to yourself over and over!" she was yelling now, and tears were pricking up in the corner of her eyes. She blinked them away, desperately trying to not look weak.

Lily had her own tears. "What the hell do you know?!" she shouted. "You don't know anything! What if it _is_ different this time? What if he's changed? I can't pass up the opportunity! You're right, I do care about him, far too much for my own good, even I'll admit! But don't say he doesn't care about me too! If he didn't he wouldn't get jealous when I'm with other guys! If he didn't care he wouldn't always ask me out again! So don't you dare accuse him of that! He knows what's best for me and I know he's going to end up being the right one for me!" she was nearly screaming now, and the tears had fell from her deep green irises.

"Lily, please don't cry," Beth begged, her own tears falling from the fact she had just made Lily cry. She hated anytime when Lily cried, and positively hated the fact she had been the one to cause it. She held out her arms and went to hug her.

"No!" she yelled as her best friend closed in. "Get the hell away from me! I _knew_ you would be like this! Why can't you just accept my decisions? I'm fully capable of making the right ones!" she pushed her away and practically ran from the compartment, slamming the door hard on her way out. Alice stirred.

"What's going on?" she mumbled, her eyes flickering open. She caught sight of Beth and flew up. "Oh, B, honey, why are you crying?"

Beth just shook her head and wiped her eyes. Marlene and Hestia shook their heads grimly.

"What have I missed?" Alice demanded.

Marlene relayed the events of the past five minutes to her, watching, as her face grew more angry and upset by the second.

"This is the _last_ time you let me fall asleep on this bloody train," she snapped.

* * *

"Someone's coming!" Serena hissed.

"So?" Howie asked as her continued to run his fingers through her hair.

"I hardly want to be seen half naked by a stranger!"

"It will be a treat for them, trust me."

She rolled her eyes, but grinned anyway. "Get away, you big idiot." She pushed his arm that was wrapped around her away and scooted herself off his lap.

"Hey!" he said in a falsely hurt tone.

She held up one long finger and listened intently. Her head cocked to the side slightly. A set of footsteps were approaching quickly, the person was running. She motioned for her partner to get down on the floor with her as she slid down. The shutters were closed, so she doubted anyone would attempt to enter, especially since she knew the girl or boy outside to be running. They wouldn't stop for a room that looked occupied, would they? Even so, she fumbled around until she found her wand and flicked it quickly, successfully locking the door. The running footsteps were nearly outside. She looked over to her boyfriend, who was glaring playfully at her.

"You're so annoying," she mouthed to him.

"I know you love me anyway," was his silent reply.

They both held their breath as the feet ran past their door. When they were no longer audible, Serena let out a long breath and turned to the boy on her left.

"Close call."

"I still don't see why we can't go around telling people," he muttered, sitting up and pulling her along with him.

"I told you," she groaned. "My friends, as much as I love them, will plant themselves right in the middle of it all, and I don't want to mess this up."

He smiled at her with such affection in his eyes. "It won't mess us up," he promised. "I won't let it."

"That's sweet," she sighed. "But trust me, nothing will be safe once Beth and Hestia get their hands on it."

"That's not very nice," he scolded teasingly as he resumed running his fingers through his hair.

"It may not be, but it's the truth."

"I just don't like hiding it," he continued. "I want to walk you to your lessons and hold your hand down the corridors and kiss you at breakfast," he mumbled, looking at her intently. Her vision was blurred due to her lack of her necessary tortoiseshell glasses, but she could still see the almost pained look in his eyes. She hated that look. She leant up and kissed him softly.

"I love you," she whispered, keeping her eyes focused on his, watching as they lit up when she said those words, "and I care _far_ to much about you to let my meddling friends stir something between us," his face fell slightly. "Wait," she said sternly. "But I _think_ they may be mature enough by the beginning of next year." She smiled widely.

Her smile and surrounding skin was showered with tiny, soft kisses when she finished speaking. "I love you," he repeated.

A barely visible blush filled her dark cheeks. She tried to hide the guilt inside her. It was true she did honestly love the boy before her, but the reason she didn't want anyone to know wasn't that she thought her friends would interfere -it was her own insecurities. She knew that once everyone knew about their relationship, her commitment issue streak would strike up and she would run away as fast as she could. She didn't want that. It would only hurt her, in the end. So, she did the sensible thing and asked –practically begged- for the two to keep it low-key. Thankfully, he complied. They had been seeing each other for the most part of the past year, and now Serena felt she was comfortable enough and secure enough with Howie to not up and leave as soon as someone asked her about it. She gave herself the next six weeks to prepare, worry and panic, because it was inevitable, no doubt. But she was firm on her decision. She wanted to be with him, was in love with him even, and she wasn't afraid of who knew.

She sighed contentedly against his lips as they finished dropping the pecks on her jaw and nose and found there way back to her own.

* * *

Lily wasn't really sure where she had ended up. She had run all the way through every carriage and was now at the very end of the train. It was a small room, with wooden crates she was afraid to touch. A large window on the wall in front of her flashed her pictures of delicate fields and vast forests as the train soared through Scotland and back to London. The whipping through each image made her head spin slightly; she was prone to travel sickness. Every now and again she had to remove her eyes from their fixed position there, and let them wander around the cramped room she was currently residing in. She soon found it wasn't just the wobbling train that had her feeling sick.

She couldn't believe that was what Beth honestly believed. Jesse cared for her, she knew it, and no one was going to convince her otherwise. She stood by her speech. He wouldn't act the way he does if he didn't care.

They didn't know anything.

So it was that Lily stayed in the small room until the train finally stopped, leaving her numb and aching from her unmoved position for the last hour or two. She hurried down to the compartment she was in before, ignoring Beth's apologies and pleas of forgiveness, took her trunk and ran from the steam train, onto the magical platform of 9 ¾ where she met her family, greeting them all with a falsely large and pleased grin, earning her a glare from her sister, a weak smile from her mother and a laugh from her father, who tousled her hair and wrapped his arm around her. Six weeks of no magic, snide comments and annoyance. At least she had her father to make it all better. She looked up to him with a real grin and carried on pushing her trolley down to the gateway, back into Muggle life.

* * *

**A/N: **Urg, see! I'm so sorry for this! I feel awful. I'm going to sleep. Feel free to leave a review.

Angry with herself-ly yours,

Ruby


	4. It's Easier Than You'd Think

**A/N:** Hello lovelies! How have you all been keeping? I'm going to apologise now for the fact this chapter may seem a bit rushed, but I promise I have good reason for it. And I promise the next few chapters will be full of Marauders. My love for them is unfathomable (excluding Peter, of course).

**Disclaimer:** *insert degrading comment on my own writing and a praise filled comment on J.K. Rowling's series and how she owns everything, like my soul*

* * *

-Chapter Four-

It's Easier Than You'd Think

"It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend." - William Blake

The journey home was awkward. Lily's mother, Alison Evans, asked her a few questions on how her year was, but was altogether still rather on edge about the whole thing. Alison hadn't taken well to the news of her daughter being a witch, along with her sister Petunia. It wasn't that she was ashamed of her daughter or anything, but she felt that she was wasting her life in a school that will never help her, loosing valuable time she could use to train to be a lawyer. She had had high hopes for her youngest daughter.

Petunia Evans, Lily's elder sister, who had recently graduated from her high school and was soon to be off to whatever she wanted to do with her life, was silent throughout the whole journey, aside from the occasional annoyed huff or derisive snort. Lily was used to her sister's loathing of her, and didn't let it bother her. Much.

Albert Evans, Lily's father, tried to ease up the tension, joking around with his daughter as he usually did, but the stony glares from Petunia and pointed looks from his wife shut him up. Lily adored her father. He was the main reason she all but boarded the train back for the summer. Her dad was always there for her, and always made everything better, even if the world was crashing down and there was no hope for anyone. Her dad was her hero.

It was in this silence that Lily Evans let her mind wander. She thought over the past week's happenings since the horrible affair with Snape. Potter hadn't asked her out since, which she found strange, but relieved nonetheless, and Snape had made several more futile attempts of gaining back her friendship. Ravenclaw had won the House Cup and Slytherin the Quidditch, Gryffindor missing out by all but 10 points. Reeves had been sacked, for 'accidentally' fatally injuring a group of troublesome Hufflepuff Fourth-Years with a hex three days before the end of term, effectively keeping up the whole 'new Defense teacher every year' mantra. It was funny, she thought. He had been so on edge over bad things happening, so he kept order in his classroom. It was funny that had turned out to be the reason for his sacking. .

The replaying in her mind ended when her father called out "Home, sweet home," when the car pulled up in their drive. Lily gave him a weak smile and a short nod when he asked her if she had missed the place. Truthfully, she only really missed her bed and him.

Prada, Lily's Sphynx cat, gave a loud hiss. She had been moody all the way home; she hated the little cage she had to be put in. When the front door was unlocked and Lily's trunk was set, she was finally let out, and she bolted straight for the royal blue couches in the sitting room, clawing the pillow like anything. Prada had always been rather angsty.

"Great. Now I can't even sit on the couch." Petunia grumbled, the first words she had said since Lily's getting off the train.

She rolled her eyes and walked off in pursuit of her cat. "Pra," she scolded. "Come on, you stupid cat." She picked her up and tickled her stomach quickly, reminding her that it was she, not someone else. Prada was rather attached to Lily, and only trusted her. When she familiarized herself with the stroke, she mewed pitifully and stopped resisting, letting Lily hold her long enough to carry her upstairs.

"Come back down after, Lil!" her dad had called after her. "Tell me all about your year! You're bloody _awful_ in your letters," he joked.

She frowned in faux-irritation. "I am amazing, thank you very much," she said haughtily, but grinning at him all the same. "I'll be down in a second," she promised.

She continued up, and only stopped when she reached her door, the one painted blue at the end of the landing. She hadn't changed it for a while, not since she was around ten, so it still had the old posters of movies she used to like, and the walls were still a shade of baby pink.

"Lily?" her mother called up as soon as she had set Prada down into her fluffy cat basket.

"Yeah?"

"Unpack your trunk, please?"

She sighed. "Mu-um!"

"You may aswell get it over and done with!"

She huffed indignantly, knowing her mother was right. "I'll get it in a second."

"That's what I like to hear."

She stroked Prada's bald back a bit longer before pushing herself up from her sitting position and clambered downstairs. She almost whipped out her wand to levitate the thing up the treacherous set of steps, before realizing she was back home, and therefore wasn't allowed to do magic. She still had another year to get through before she was seventeen. Damn, getting used to that would take a while.

It was strange, she thought as she used every ounce of strength to heave the trunk up and lug it up her staircase, the whole change of scenery. It was now like Hogwarts was real-life, and home was the fantasy –if she took Petunia's view of her world "Its all make-believe and fantasy and it's for freaks!"

After a herculean bout of strength she didn't know she had in her tiny frame, she reached the landing, trunk still on her shoulders, she still in one piece. Getting to her room wasn't as hard as the stairs had been, for the ground was now flat, which was much harder to trip over on than the stairs, which she tripped up on anyway.

A few minutes later and her madly heavy trunk was dropped onto her rug just by her bed. She unlatched the clamps either side and flipped the lid open.

There was an envelope of slightly yellowed parchment with no address or name or anything on it sitting at the very top of all her belongings.

Curiosity got the best of her. It was hardly likely the envelope held a bomb, after all.

She slid out the wad of parchment that was folded inside it and began to read the messy sprawl that filled the page.

_Evans –or should I call you Lily? No, I don't want you to hit me. Wait you cant, this is a letter. Shit, just ignore this._

_Hello! If you're reading this, which I really hope you are, then I guess you don't know who this is. Which is good. Just keep reading. Also if you don't know who this is, thank whoever was in your compartment, okay?_

_Okay, so… Y'see, Evans, I spent a bloody long time writing this goddamned thing. Letters are _hard_. Really hard. You could actually check my trunk. It's filled with drafts and such. So everything you've just read –apart from the thanking- can be ignored, because this is just all the little voices in my head talking. Wait, no, I sound like I have a mental illness. Meh, its not like you don't already think I have one. Just ignore this and read the proper letter okay?_

Lily involuntarily smiled a bit at reading this. It was so obvious who the letter was from, but for some reason she continued reading, anyway.

_I know this may seem sudden and very strange, but I think I am maturing. Which is why I feel the need to ask you a certain question._

_Also, due to my mature-ness and, quite frankly, nerves of writing this, I think my emotions may be best expressed through a poem. Have I ever told you I am quite the literate? I probably have. Anyway, here goes:_

_Evans, sometimes you are a crazy bitch,  
__But that's okay, because you're a witch.  
__I, on the other hand have no excuse,  
__My reasons for being a ponce, you'll have to deduce._

_(But I'm fairly certain you already have a long list)_

_You see, that was a reference to my maturing,  
__My bad case of egotism is clearly curing.  
__If we could walk down the corridor without screaming at each other,  
__It would surely be a treat, and it would please my mother._

_(Only joking, I just couldn't think of a word to rhyme with other)_

_It would be cool if maybe you didn't say my name like it was a curse,  
__And maybe if you saw me your lips wouldn't purse.  
__And I guess when I see you I could refrain from making a rude remark,  
__And maybe when I see you I wouldn't ask you to meet me somewhere dark.  
__So, you see, in short, I was wondering if we might be civil  
__For it would most definitely make life easyivil,_

_(Yes, that's a bloody word, stop rolling your eyes!)_

_And I know this poem was a disaster,  
__But I would like to be at least your acquaintance for ever after._

_See? I could make a living on that. But basically what I was trying to say was that maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we could, y'know, be friends. Or acquaintances. Or just something better than you hating my guts, because, that kind of sucks. (See? I rhyme unconsciously now. It's a sign, I tell you.) And while you may just chuck this letter out, or torch it or something equally as destructive, I just hope you know that I don't like fighting._

_And I'm truly sorry about what happened after the Defense OWL. I wouldn't go as far as saying it was entirely my fault, because while my ego is shrinking, it hasn't done so enough for me to become a stupid 'blame-everything-on-me' git. I will, however, take part of the blame. I shouldn't have attacked him unprovoked._

_Well, that's me. Said all I have needed to, and if you plan to write back, which I really hope you do, please don't bother asking how I got this into your trunk. I will only say I didn't see anything I wasn't supposed to. Maybe._

_Your hopeful-friend-slash-acquaintance-in-the-possible-making,_

_Potter_

_P.S: Although it would be nice if you could call me James. Just a thought._

_P.P.S: Its only because they way you say "Potter" pretty much makes me want to kill myself._

_P.P.P.S: And I'm sure you can't put that much venom into a first name, because, you're calling someone by their first name, so it kind of implies friendship of sorts._

_P.P.P.P.S: Just a thought._

_P.P.P.P.P.S: I wrote way to many of those, huh?_

Lily was slightly ashamed to admit she was nearly in tears of mirth by the end of the poem. It may have just been the lack of amusement from the car ride home, or that the poem Potter had wrote was just that hilarious. She wasn't even offended he had called her a bitch, because (although she would never admit it to anyone) she did know she wasn't the nicest of people towards the certain Gryffindor. But, the rudeness was mutual, so she never thought much of it. So it was, still in a fit of strange laughter, she grabbed a quill from underneath a pile of crumpled clothing and began to scratch out a reply on a sheet of parchment.

_Potter –I'm in a good mood so I may attempt the James, let me start again._

_James,_

_Your letter –No, it's to weird._

_James Potter,_

_There. Equal. Sound good?_

_Anyway, thanks for the letter. As much as it surprised me, I think I died of laughter. But that might be a side effect from the complete awkward tension that has currently been stalking me since getting off the train. My dad is still trying to shake it off, but I don't think it's working. Not that you care, but yeah. I don't exactly know what to write. I'm running on hysteria, so if this letter doesn't make much sense it's because I am blind sighted the madness that is me. I want to ask about the whole letter-in-trunk scenario, but I'm quite frightened of the answer to that if I'm honest, which I'm not, usually -please tell me I still have my dignity? - But hey, a first time for everything right?_

_Which leads me to the conclusion that for once you may just be right. Being civil wouldn't be too much of a challenge. Just don't annoy me, and I won't try to kill you every time I see you. It could work. Please don't make me regret this life-altering decision. This is like a life-or-death matter. Lily Evans befriending James Potter. Merlin, what am I doing? I am going to regret this in the morning. Like that time Hestia got us all to shot Firewhiskey. What if it's worse?! (For the record, I am surprisingly good at holding it down.)_

_First time for everything. May need that later._

_And just so you know, despite you pissing me off every chance you get and how I tell you I do enough, I don't really hate you. Damn, this honesty thing is hard. Who knew?_

_Oh, and you don't need to apologize for what happened after the OWL. It wasn't your fault. You shouldn't have attacked him unprovoked, yes, but it was not your doing that made him call me that. He's been acting different since he started hanging out with the Slytherin crew. It was only a matter of time, I guess._

_So, to answer your strange poem, which I regretfully did not reply to in the same format, (I am _far_ more literate than you.) yes, I think acquaintanceship/friendship may not be such a bad thing._

_This could be one of the worst decisions of my life._

_Silently-still-laughing-and-quite-scared-at-the-same-time,_

_Evans._

_P.S: If it means that much to you, yes you may call me Lily._

_P.P.S: I will try not to say your name so meanly in the future._

_P.P.P.S: I will also try to get used to calling you James. It will be strange but I will try._

_P.P.P.P.S: Yes, in reply to your last question, you did do too many postscripts._

_P.P.P.P.P.S: I can hardly chat, I've just used as many as you have._

She re-read over her letter, and could help but add on the end:

_P.P.P.P.P.P.S: okay I know there are too many already but I need to add this: YOU ARE SO WRONG. WRITING LETTERS IS EASY. I HAVE JUST WRITTEN THIS IN LIKE TEN MINUTES AND IT IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE. Have a nice day!_

She grinned and sealed up the envelope, knowing she'd most probably regret the decision later on, but still clicked her fingers and made a couple of loud crooning noises until the owl that lived in the tree in her back garden –the same one that had delivered her Hogwarts letter- had flown up to greet her from her window. She stroked the barn owl's head and fastened the note to his talon before letting him fly off in search of the recipient.

She bundled all her clothes from the top of her trunk together, and chucked them all into the large linen basket out on the hall. She got out her books and –with a lot of difficulty- found them a space to go in her already overflowing bookcase. She then kicked her trunks lid closed, content that she would not need to remove the mess of parchment and quill at the bottom of her trunk. Ignoring Prada's hopeful mews for attention, so loudly stumbled out of her room and down the stairs to talk to her dad about the eventful year she had just had.

* * *

James tried to hide the hurt he felt as he once again got off the train to find his parents were not there. It wasn't their fault, obviously, but it didn't cushion the blow any. He grinned falsely as he bid his friends farewell, watching Peter rush off to find his mother, Remus reluctantly looking for his own –he felt as though he was a hindrance to his family, and positively hated it- and Sirius all but hiding from his menacing mother and father. He couldn't help the slight twinge of jealousy he felt as they finally left.

Bags in tow, he left King's Cross for the Leaky Cauldron, as to Floo to his house, not being able to Apparate just yet.

He nodded a greeting to Tom and grabbed a handful of the powder as he reached the large fireplace. He threw it in the flames and stepped in, feeling the pleasant warmth fill him as he muttered his address. He closed his eyes, not really focusing on anything except his bed. When he reopened them, he was in his own fireplace, inside the drawing room. He scooted around the ornate coffee table that resided in front of the marble that he was just in, and artfully dodged the forest green velvet ottoman that he usually tripped on.

Although he lived in the palace he called home, he never really felt 'at home', in the sense of that the house held no personal value to him. His parents were never around, the heavily decorated rooms felt alien to him, and he knew he would much rather be at Hogwarts than here right now. He felt safe there. It was more of a home to him than he was sure this place would ever be. He knew nearly every nook and cranny of the enormous castle, and despite his best efforts, he knew there was still a majority of the mansion he had not seen. The only thing that relatively welcomed James back to the house was the House-Elves. They were all very kind to him, and were _very _good cooks.

As he silently padded down the dark corridor that the drawing room was on, he was greeted by one of the Elves that lived at the house.

"Master Potter has returned from Hogwarts!" the small creature cried, bowing as he came into view.

"Stand up, Zippy, I don't want you bowing for me. And calling me James is fine, too."

"Ever so sorry, Master James!"

He sighed. "How've you been?"

"Zippy has been great, thank you! And has Master been feeling good too?"

"Of course," James lied. He didn't think he had the heart to tell the happy Elf he would rather be anywhere rather than here.

"Would Master like some food?"

He smiled a bit at that. "A bit of apple pie wouldn't go amiss," he hinted.

"Zippy will be making some this second, Master James!"

"Don't rush yourself, mate. I'm not going anywhere," he added glumly.

Zippy nodded and hurried off, his little trousers falling slightly as he picked up speed. Technically, all the Elves in the Potter mansion were free, but they had all chosen to stay. It was kind of sweet, James thought; that they liked this house that much that they would rather stay here and serve him and his parents than go off and do whatever they wanted. It was their choice, though, and he wasn't one to argue with amazing pie.

He reached the end of the large corridor and slid down the stair's banister, before slumping down onto the comfortable –albeit dusty- tweed couch, and flipped open the book that lay unobtrusively on the little table next to him. He never told people, but he really did enjoy reading. It was one thing he could count on, and did often when he returned home. A good book could take you to a whole new world, fill you with brand new and interesting information, and was an amazing time killer. He had six weeks of reading, essay writing and maybe a few of them would be spent with his friends, he hoped.

He was halfway through the first chapter by the time Zippy had returned with his pie, which he thanked him accordingly for.

The next few hours were spectacularly uneventful, with James continually reading the increasingly uninteresting novel called 'Theories and Thoughts on the Flobberworm'. He was nearly ready to smash the book around his head and just end the pain the book was physically causing – he would have stopped reading it ages ago, but then he would be left with the silence of the house, which was decidedly worse than the book – until he heard a loud rapping on the window behind him. He flipped around, flinging the boring book as far away as he could, and rushed over to the large owl outside. The haughty looking bird bit him as he tried to detach the letter, and flew away as soon as it was rid of it. James made a note to curse the owner of the bird.

He looked down at the parchment envelope, unaddressed, as the one he had left for Lily had been. Had she sent it back to him? Either way, it was still torn open, due to his desperation to rid his mind of the book.

His grin only grew as he scanned the letter.

Maybe the holidays weren't going to be so bad after all.

* * *

Five rather uneventful weeks went by for the both of them.

Lily had several arguments with her sister.

James had several futile attempts at getting all the House Elves to stop calling him 'Master'.

Lily had finished all her essays only recently.

James had completed all the essays that were due within the first week.

Lily had suffered through a few terribly awkward conversations with her mother about school.

James had gone to sleep wishing his parents would get back from their mission already.

Lily was looking forward to the wedding she would be going to with Bethany.

James was looking forward to having Sirius over for an indefinite amount of time, as to avoid his family and any events that included such in general.

The two had shared easy letters, finding the gestures almost effortless.

Lily was surprised how easy being friends with James Potter was.

James was ecstatic Lily Evans was referring to him as a friend rather than the dirt on her shoe.

But apart from the lack of drama that usually surrounded them at Hogwarts, they were both happier than they were last summer break.

* * *

-August 31st, 2.00 pm-

"Bum, do you have a dryer?" the redhead called.

"Not a Muggle sweetie. Neither are you."

"Underage!"

"Pureblood household!"

Lily sighed. "Damn, need to remember that."

"I know you do."

She rolled her eyes, despite knowing her friend would not be able to see, and waved her wand over her mane of sopping wet ginger.

Seconds later the sodden locks turned to silky and curled tresses.

"Is this too much?" Beth asked as she hobbled into the room in her extremely high heels and _extremely_ revealing dress.

"Wow, B, for someone who claims to have issues with getting it on with the in-laws…"

"Shut up, there isn't only going to be Blacks there, you prat." She smoothed her dress down. "So it isn't too much?"

She looked over her pretty friend critically. She had tanned again, making her legs stand out even more against the Caribbean blue dress she had on. Her hair was somewhat normal, being a golden honey sort of color in a pixie style, shorter than Alice's. She did look very nice.

"You look lovely, dear. But adding an extra inch to your skirt wouldn't hurt."

"Just for that, I'll take one away."

"Enjoy having everyone see your arse then."

"You mean _they_ will."

"…B," Lily began after a short silence.

"Hmm?"

"A-are you sure it's such a good idea for me to be there?"

"Lily." She said seriously. "I have already got word from my sister. It's okay if we hex anyone who says anything to you. According to Marius, they may disown him for marrying her anyway, because we are such blood traitors." She rolled her eyes. "So it wont matter what impression we make, there's a high chance we'll never see them again." Beth let out a deep sigh before she continued. "I am just glad he loves her anyway, despite all this blood nonsense."

"Yeah," Lily agreed.

They continued to ready themselves, Beth covering her already done-up face in more makeup, and Lily trying to shove on her dress without mussing her hair.

"How're we doing, girls?" Evelyn asked as she stepped into Beth's room.

"You're unusually calm," Beth commented. "You're getting married today!"

"I'm always calm, dear." It was true. Beth's eldest sister, Evelyn Colebrook, was one of the most serene people on the planet. It was a wonder the two were related. "And from the start I knew the wedding wouldn't go off without a hitch, so I'm just praying we wont get a visit from Voldemort himself."

"Well that's every morbid," Lily piped up.

"It's better than me expecting this to be the best day of my life," she sighed.

"It's going to be though! You're marrying the one you love," Beth sang.

"Yes, and don't get me wrong I'm thrilled, but I knew his family would be a problem, so I'm not getting my hopes up on a white wedding type-thing."

"Evy, you are honestly one of the smartest and most practical people I know. And I'm sorry if my being at your surely wonderful event is in any way harmful, but I cannot miss it."

"That's very sweet of you, Lil."

"Now go and get ready! The ceremony's in two hours!" Beth pressed, pushing the tall girl out of the room. Her hair was exactly the same shade as Beth's was; only her hair fell just past her shoulders in ringlets. Lily was sure Beth did this to prove she was Evelyn's sister. Lily knew how much she hated it when no one was convinced the two were related.

"I am, I am!" she laughed, and walked backwards into the hall. "Mum will be up in a second to make sure you're all ready. So get to it."

"We will!" Beth called and closed the door. "Hear that?" she turned to Lily, "go make yourself look pretty."

"I already am!" she teased, but walked over to Beth's vanity nonetheless.

"I know a few people who think so," was her friend's coy reply.

"Yes, I'm sure my boyfriend does think I'm pretty," she deadpanned, as she run a black eyeliner pencil over her waterline.

"Yes, yes." Beth really couldn't understand the girl across the room from her. It had returned to the way it was before, with Jesse, and she knew it. She had seen her cry at letters she had received from him while she was here. She couldn't figure out why she didn't just end the thing. On the other hand, she had also seen her exchange a more than suspicious amount of letters with James Potter. When Beth confronted her about it, she just laughed and told her that there is such thing as friendship. She had been very evasive of that subject, and Beth was nearly ripping her hair out over it. She positively _hated_ not knowing things. Especially the possibility that her best friend might have something going on with a boy she had recently claimed to hate.

"What are we going to do while we're there?" Lily had just asked.

"Well… Dance with some non-Blacks, because a) I can't snog them and b) well, you for obvious reasons," she waited while Lily laughed. "We can hide out under the food table if something happens," she then proceeded with a devilish grin, "and Evy has let slip there will be more that enough alcohol there."

"So we are going to get totally pissed, hide under tables and dance like freaks?"

"Sounds like a plan, my good friend!"

Lily rolled her eyes, but grinned and nabbed a piece of parchment and a quill.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing!"

_Oi, Potter!_

_You better be at this wedding today. You're best mates with Sirius, so just go along with him. I don't think I can handle and angry and drunk Beth all by myself._

_-Lily_

She tethered the letter to Beth's owl and sent him off. She knew he wouldn't take long, because according to Beth he only lived a few miles away.

"Who was that to?"

"Don't worry."

"Lily."

"Beth."

"Tell me!"

"Have a _wild_ guess!"

"It was Potter, wasn't it?" She grinned.

"And if it was?"

"It was!"

"Why are you so excited?"

"No reason," she said, still grinning.

"You're a freak, you know that?" she commented, while trying coat her lids in a dark purple eye shadow.

"Ah, yes, I do know. Now give me that, you're hopeless."

-3.00 pm-

"Oi, Padfoot, what are we doing today?" James asked as he rolled over, his voice still heavy with sleep.

"It's cousin Marius's wedding, so…" Sirius yawned, "We are staying as far away as possible."

"Delightful planning."

"Isn't it just?"

"What's the time?" James asked after a while.

"Time to go back to sleep."

He groaned at his friend's answer, and shoved on his glasses to see what the grandfather clock at the end of the room said.

"Mate, its nearly three."

"Prongs, I am beyond giving a fuck."

"Suit yourself." He slid out of his bed and walked out of his room, the only one in the house that wasn't insanely ornate and extravagant. He was headed for the kitchen, as in hope to get one of the House Elves to cook him some pancakes, when he heard he familiar rap of an owl at the window. He slid it open, letting the chilly morning air in as the screech owl he recognized as Bethany's flew in. He knew who it would be from, despite the owl not even being her own.

"Padfoot, get up! We're going to that wedding!"

-7.00 pm-

It wasn't without a bit of persuading, but eventually Sirius got up and ready. They were late, having skipped the ceremony altogether. As they made there way through the crowds of happy faces (mostly being the Colebrooks) and murderous ones (mostly being the Blacks) James's eyes scanned for Lily. It wasn't long before he spotted her in the back corner with Beth, giggling madly and downing shots.

"Potter!" she laughed as he came into view. "Here, here, have one!" she encouraged as she held out a small glass of flaming liquid. "You have to blow it out first, though," she groaned. "Look what happens when you don't!" she pointed to her top lip, which looked very red and sore, before bursting into a fit of giggles again.

He watched her in fascination as he took the drink she had extended out to him.

"Are you drunk, Evans?"

"Never!" she cried, still laughing wildly.

"I think you are," Sirius chimed in. "Now, hand me the liquor, my good woman!"

"As you wish, my good man," she replied as she held out the bottle in her other had, the one they had charmed to never run out.

When Beth told him this, he nodded at them in approval. "Good thinking."

"We have been known to do that," Beth snapped.

"Someone's angry," he commented.

"She is an _angry drunk_," Lily whispered to him conspiratorially.

"The point of whispering is to not let the person hear you!"

"Sorry, Mrs. Grumpy Pants," she grumbled, downing yet another shot.

"How many of those have you _had_?" James asked incredulously.

"I… I'm not too sure," she said slowly. "But, like I said, rather good at holding them down, ey?"

"Yes, because giggling like a madman and falling all about the place is _so_ what you call sober."

"I never said I was _sober_," she corrected, "I just said that I could be a lot worse off after at least a hundred shots of whatever this is."

"I hardly doubt you've had a hundred, love."

"Whatever. Do you know how _boring_ this party is though?!" she complained. "I am just suck her with _her_," she pointed to Beth, who was arguing with Sirius over Merlin knows what. "In a room full of people that would gladly kill me," she pointed to the group of brooding Blacks at the other corner of the room, "In a dress that is _itchy_," she yanked her dress for good measure, "And I have nothing to do!"

"You can talk to me?"

"Well, I have something to do _now_," she amended, "but before you were here I was really, really bored!" she whined.

"So I'm your boredom savior?"

"Yup. You could have a little cape and everything. Like in those comics with the guy in tights and a cape!"

He raised his eyebrow at her questioningly. "I didn't make it up! It's a Muggle thing!" she protested.

"Of course it is," he replied patronizingly, and patted her on the head while taking another swig of the never-ending bottle.

"Hey!" she swatted away his arm. "Don't mess up the hair!"

"Don't worry, it still looks lovely," he shrugged.

"Oh. Um, thanks," she said awkwardly, feeling a slight blush rise to her cheeks.

"So how's the holidays been?" he asked, ignoring her slightly red face.

"Shit."

"How optimistic of you!" he replied sarcastically.

"They honestly have been," she groaned, dropping down to the floor with her back pressed up against the wall.

"Wanna talk about it?" he offered, sitting down next to her.

"Its nothing major," she admitted, taking the bottle from James and drinking. "It isn't as bad as last year."

"What's so bad then?"

"Oh, just Tuney, and not seeing everyone, and Jesse, and everything." She sighed, dropping her head back to rest on the wall.

"Jesse?" he asked. He knew who the boy was, due to spending most of Fifth-Year loathing him.

"Yeah…" she mumbled, closing her eyes. "We got back together on the train."

James's fist clenched.

"…But… I don't know."

"What?"

"It's just… I'm not too sure. I just don't think I can deal with him much more." She began. "Its – its so _complicated_, y'know?"

"Not really, no." James didn't know the most part of what Lily and Jesse's relationship amounted to, for he wasn't friends with her when they dated, so didn't see the extreme changes she underwent.

"Well… He pretty much makes me feel like a piece of dirt." She sighed again, and looked at James. "I just - I don't know. At first he was this charming, perfect, wonderful guy who I was head over heels for-" James felt his stomach twitch uncomfortably. "-But now, its like… I'm seeing what everyone else sees, if that makes sense?"

"Well, no. But what do they see?"

"Basically, him being a total bastard and me being a stupid bint."

"You're not stupid or a bint, Lily."

"But I am!" she yelled, and before she knew it, she was crying. "I am, I am, I am! I'm so bloody _stubborn_ and I hate myself for caring about him so much! Do you want to know what he's been writing to me? We met up a few times over the past weeks and he just told me that I could have made more of an effort for him. And he tells me that I'm ridiculous because I turned down meeting him for studying, and he was furious. And then he started on me when I told him I was staying at Beth's, because she was a bad influence on me and I don't want to see him tomorrow and- and-" she choked on a sob and placed her head on her knees. "I just don't know! Why cant he be the person he was two months ago?"

He looked at her. Really, just studied her. The way her hair fell at uneven lengths over her legs and back, the way her pale skin almost glowed in the streams of party lights coming from the other side of the room. He couldn't understand what Jesse meant. Lily Evans didn't need to try and make an effort. He was sure she could look near perfect without even trying. And it was just so _her_, choosing work over people. If it had been him, he would have just laughed at the note and told her to have fun. And the way her friends influenced her was an amazing thing, he thought, because she was so different when she was with each of her friends. It was amazing to watch her change her character ever so slightly to fit in with the person she was with in that moment. He wondered briefly how she had changed to act around him.

"I'm- I'm sorry," she said thickly, lifting her head to meet his gaze once more. Her eyes shone even brighter with the layer of salty tears, and her cheeks were a very pretty shade of pink.

"Nothing to be sorry for," he replied lightly. "Just hope you know I think Holloway's a blind and insane dick."

She laughed shakily. "Thanks," she replied. "But I'm still sorry. It cant be comfortable for you to have me just cry right next to you."

"It's honestly fine, Evans." He replied.

She smiled. "Either call me Evans or Lily. Nowhere in between. You'll make my head spin."

"What if I want to?" he challenged playfully.

"Well that would make you a very bad mate."

"How so?"

"Friends do not want friends to get headaches."

"Ah, well then I am a bad mate."

"At least you know." She grinned at him through her still watery eyes, and then rubbed wiped them furiously. She was annoyed with herself for bringing him up, because she knew very well that James honestly didn't care about her personal life. But she couldn't help it, really. Just the way he said things, and asked the right questions without even knowing, it led her to spill her guts out to him. She didn't know why, but she felt so comfortable with him, and it made her feel so warm inside. She didn't know what had happened. One second he was a bullying, arrogant and annoying twat, the next a funny, nice person she wanted to be around. The letters the two had shared hadn't been at all awkward, like the ones she had with Jesse, but full of joking and playful teasing that she was sure only he could get away with. The change of demeanor was strange, definitely, but it was only benefitting her, so she didn't question it. She was like that. If it was doing well for her, she let it be, if not, she would run away and hide from it. Not her best trait, but not her worst.

"Looking forward to another year of academics?" he asked once she was done wiping her eyes.

"Oh how you know me." She leaned in for the bottle, but he stopped her.

"Uh, uh, uh," he hummed. "We have a train to catch tomorrow. You are not going to be hung over on it."

"Oh, and you care because?"

"Lily, you're my mate. I'm allowed to care and say I do not wish the pain of hangovers on you, especially on that godforsaken train."

"I thought you just admitted you were a bad mate? They don't care about their friends."

"I have my moments."

"I guess."

"What do you mean 'I guess'?" he asked in false-hurt. "I can be an amazing friend when I want to be."

"Keep telling yourself that, James."

He loved the way she said his name. Somehow, it just seemed so… _perfect_ rolling off her tongue. To not have her snap 'Potter!' at him anymore, and to speak to him like they never had such a bad background. It filled him up with such a wonderful feeling he had to pinch himself to make sure this wasn't just a dream. It wouldn't be the first time she has invaded his subconscious.

"So… See anyone you like?" she waved her arm to the crowd.

"Meh, there's a few," he replied nonchalantly, not wanting to tell her that the girl he really would like was sitting just inches away from him, so he nodded to a group of tan and blonde women with partners. "But I think they're all taken." He hinted, hoping she might pick up the subtlety.

"Well, that would be because that is in fact the bride and the bridesmaids. All Beth's family." Clearly it was lost on her.

"Ah," he said. "Not the best."

"Nope."

"So, considering neither of us can dance with who we really want to," he said, taking a chance and standing up. "Wanna dance?" he asked, holding out his hand, fully prepared for rejection.

She looked at it for a moment, before nodding. "Yeah, why not?"

He was nearly blown off his feet, but didn't show it. "That's the spirit." He helped her up and took her waist, while she placed her free arm on his shoulder.

"You should know I can't dance to save my life. And it also doesn't help the fact that I have just consumed near my body weight in Firewhiskey and other alcohol."

"It's all right, I can't dance either."

"So, sway and talk?" she asked.

"Sway and talk." He agreed.

* * *

**A/N:** Ah, I just love the part in fan fiction where Lily finds herself happy being friends with James. Then it leads to her realising she likes him and it's like "HALLELUJAH!" Sorry, I have recently been reading _loads _of Jily - Jily October, you know. (I may seem happy but really I have been crying my eyes out over a painfully amazing fan video) Anyway, away from my crazed-fangirl tendencies, I hope you have/have had a lovely day, and I look forward to a review, if you feel like dropping one in!

Mentally unstablably yours,

Ruby


	5. Not Just About You Two

**A/N:** Hello, beauties! I cannot thank you all enough for the response to the last few chapters. You guys don't even know how much I love getting the little emails saying you've followed this story or you've reviewed. It's just amazing. You guys get so many virtual cookies.

**Disclaimer:** Joanne Rowling owns the perfection that is Harry Potter. I own zilch. I own the amount you get when you divide zero by zero. Technically you can't even do that, (I just tried it on my calculator) that's how much I don't own anything to do with Harry Potter. I don't even get an answer, I just get a 'SYNTAX ERROR'.

* * *

-Chapter Five-

Not Just About You Two

"I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different." - Kurt Vonnegut

Mary woke up screaming.

She knew he was after her. It was so real, the dream, just a highly extended reality. It showed what would have happened had her mother not intervened.

Shakily, she got out of bed and pattered down the stairs, the soft footsteps reverberating through the empty house.

A glass was pulled out of her cupboard as she reached her kitchen, and filled with water, which she chugged down quickly. Her throat was tight and scratchy.

She longed to be at her mother's bedside. The pathetic doctors and nurses at the local hospital had shooed her as they performed the surgery. Sent her back to the house sick with worry and guilt.

It was her fault after all.

Bile rose in her throat as she thought about how she had taken his last name.

"_Just do it, sweetheart, for me, please?"_ her mother had asked her all those months ago. _"It will make us feel like a real family_."

She knew that was all her mother really wanted. Though Mary had tried to convince her a many times that she didn't want a Dad, because she had her and she was both, she still desperately searched for her other half. Mary was the product of a drunken one-night-stand, so her biological Father was never known. But, insistent on giving her daughter the perfect life, Linda MacDonald was ever searching, marrying and ultimately divorcing many men.

Marcus Wright, Linda's newest potential, had just been ruled from the list.

After a shady affair in Vegas that Mary found out about during the Christmas break, she had dutifully followed her Mum's pleas and told people to begin calling her 'Mary Wright', rather than 'MacDonald'. Her birth certificate still stated 'MacDonald', and every other legal document the same. She still signed her name as her mother's maiden, the 'Wright', was only for show.

The couple had returned a day after she had. He had no idea what she was. Linda had kept it a secret, for she barely knew the man yet, despite marrying him (on a whim, of course, but the incentive was still there) after having six weeks to getting to know him and finding him a charmer, she thought he may be able to handle the fact that her daughter was a witch.

Mary and Linda had told him that night.

The result was insane.

It seemed she hadn't gotten to know him as well as she had thought.

Something had ticked in him. He believed he could 'rid her of it', by chasing after her with a knife and a crazed look in his eyes.

"Fear overrides all other emotions," he had screeched.

A shiver ran down her spine.

Mary never really scared easy. She played up to her ditzy, cute and vulnerable image, but she was anything but. She had one real phobia, but tended to not let people know, and it wasn't highly obvious, so she didn't feel the need to go blurting it out.

That night was the only time she felt pure fear, fear for her life, though.

Her mother had intercepted, crying and screaming at him, while he made violent swings with the knife. All the while he was cursing and shouting, "It's all your fault!"

Because it was, really.

Mary glared at her distorted-self in her glass. She wasn't any more special than any other child in her small neighborhood. She didn't deserve her place at Hogwarts - it was a mistake. And the abuse she received the previous hours before were just her punishment for being incorrectly chosen.

A cold feeling had set over her.

She knew it wasn't _all_ her fault, really, but refused to admit it. Mary had the tendency to pull everything upon her, even if the issue had nothing to do with her personally. She always found ways to fill herself up with guilt. It was just in her nature to want to share other people's guilt so she they didn't have to face it alone. She hated watching people suffer alone.

Her grip tightened considerably on the cup she was holding.

Linda MacDonald, like her daughter, had always found it necessary to share the pain of others. She had seen the way Marcus had reacted and instantly blamed herself. She had stepped in, she had ended up with a knife in her abdomen, and she had been the one to refuse her daughters pleas to take her to St. Mungo's. The one thing she had that Mary didn't though was pride. And that was what had influenced her mainly a few hours ago.

She now lay, her heart on monitor and severe surgery soon to be taken upon her middle, in the community funded hospital with inexperienced trainee nurses prodding her every so often to make sure she hadn't died.

Mary knew she wouldn't return to Hogwarts until her Mum was better. She couldn't. She wouldn't know how she was doing, she wouldn't be able to Floo in whenever she felt like it, and she just couldn't leave her.

Had her mother gone to St. Mungo's, the whole situation would have been different.

Damn the Statute of Secrecy.

Damn Marcus Wright.

Damn her life.

* * *

"Marlene Brown, if you aren't up-"

"I'm _coming_, Gran!" she yelled back down for what seemed like the billionth time.

She shrugged on a sweater and hurried down the rickety, spiraling staircase.

"Marlene!" her grandmother snapped at her, acknowledging her presence. "Go help your grandfather, breakfasts ready!"

The blonde dipped her head slightly before heading down the hall to her grandparent's room.

Her grandmother, Florence Brown, her father's mother, was an able bodied and angry Scotswoman, with a heavy accent and temper to match. She was a short and stout woman, with brittle grey hair and misty blue eyes. She was incredibly vicarious, living life by the motto of 'age is just a number'.

Her grandfather, Patrick Brown, was a different story. He had gone to fight in the war, the Muggle war, when he was young and healthy, just after he had wedded Florence, and had many battle scars to prove it. The most noticeable, was that he was nearly unable to move. He had spent a duration of his time in a wheelchair, reciting old battle tales of the trenches, even if no one was listening.

The couple was strange, at best. Florence was the exact opposite of everything Patrick was, but the undeniable love they shared was quite the argument.

Marlene had taken to living with her grandparents, and was always welcomed with open arms.

Her grandma found her magic fascinating, for as a young child she had grown up with magical fairytales, and still strongly believed in them, even if she denied, claiming she was a sensible and mature woman.

Her grandpa never really understood what she was trying to explain. He would just smile at her, and assume his eyes were playing tricks when Marlene would casually wave her wand and have things do whatever.

She entered the slightly off-smelling room, strategically placed downstairs so Patrick didn't have any trouble with the steps, and found her Grandpa sitting on the edge of their bed, clad in plaid cotton pajamas. She smiled warmly at the wrinkled old man, and watched as his dark eyes light up in recognition. He smiled a toothless grin at her, and she gestured to the wheelchair near the door.

Patrick was nearly completely deaf, so sign language was frequented at the Brown's. He nodded his baldhead and studied his granddaughter as she wheeled the chair over to his side.

"Where are your glasses?" she asked loudly, pointing to her eyes and mimed putting on the object.

When all he did was look at her dreamily and smile her a small smile, she moved her hands quickly and precisely, watching as recognition flickered over his features.

Try as they did to help him regain his lost sense, it was near impossible.

He replied by titling his head softly to the bathroom, for he didn't like to make use of his voice. That was mainly saved so he could speak to his wife. It was as though he had limited words, and he would only use them to converse with her.

Marlene hurries to the bathroom, grabs his wiry specs, and hands them over to him. He slides them on gratefully, smiling his I-might-be-here-but-my-mind-is-elsewhere smile, and allows her to half-lift him into his wheelchair.

She dutifully swerves the chair around some, not without difficulty, and returns to the kitchen.

Patrick's face breaks into a true smile and his eyes gleam when he sees Florence standing over the oven hob.

His granddaughter wheels him to his usual space at the dining table as his wife sets a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon in front of him. He kisses her lightly on the cheek as she does so.

"Marlene, dear, this came in the post," Florence says, holding up an envelope that has her name printed neatly on the front as she returns from the front door.

"Who's it from?" she asks, not looking up from her own plate of food.

"Really, lass, I'm no physic." She rolls her eyes and places the letter so it's propped up by her glass of orange juice. "But, if I had to guess, I'd say it was from Anthony."

Florence smiled appreciatively as she watched her granddaughter dropped her fork instantly, swallowed the mouthful she'd just taken and snatched the letter up. Quick as anything, the letter was torn from the envelope and blue eyes were scanning the letter in fervent desperation.

Her heart is nearly broken when she watches her face crumble into one of hurt from the one of pure happiness she had worn before.

"He didn't mention when he'd be back?"

Marlene shook her head sadly. Tears had brimmed at the corners of her eyes.

A one-armed embrace was held, with the old woman rubbing her hands briskly on Marlene's arm, telling her not to worry.

"When's he gonna be back, Gran?" Marlene had asked shakily after a few moments.

"I'm not sure, sweetie. But he's okay! That's good, isn't it?"

The blond head nodded against her wrinkled and tan skin.

Sensing something bad was about to ensue, Patrick turned his gaze on the two, eyes expressing confusion and pain. He didn't like seeing the funny little blonde girl he wasn't really sure he knew sad. Despite not knowing who she really was, he cared for her, and seeing her sad wasn't a pleasant experience. His frail and aged hand reached over and stroked her hair.

He saw the watery smile Marlene gave him and felt his mouth pull into a sad little frown. He couldn't understand what had happened in the past five minutes.

He wanted to read the letter, that seemed to be the source of the problem, but he was afraid that wouldn't be the right thing to do. It seemed precious to the sad girl, for she was clutching it close to her heart, as though it were a lifeline.

"H-He's gone though. A-and-and Mum…" the tears are spilling down her face.

"Oh, darling," croons Florence as she squeezes her granddaughter. "He's not gone! He's fine! He may not be back soon, but nothing's happened so far, has it?"

"N-no," she agrees.

"There. Now shh, brave face for a brave girl, yes?"

"Mmhm," she hums, stiffening her upper lip and wiping her eyes. She has become used to this façade. He wouldn't want her to be sad over his depature.

Marlene agrees to let Florence read the letter. As she does, the further she reads, the deeper her frown grows.

"And – still no word from Yvonne?"

Her granddaughters face pulls into a miserable frown. "Mum's long gone," she whispers, and she can't help but hear how her voice cracks.

"Marlene -" it's harder to comfort her about her mother. She never truly got to know her, so she didn't know of her quirks and habits. Yvonne Brown had been blissfully happy with her son for a matter of weeks before he flew off to Afghanistan to protect and help in the war raging on there. Despite being sick with worry for her newly wed, she was also pregnant with Marlene at the time. She didn't meet her dad until she was three.

He had returned to the country for an indefinite amount of time, and on an accident Yvonne ended up pregnant once more. This time, she didn't have to go through it alone.

One of Marlene's earliest memories was of the four of them, all huddled onto the dingy hospital bed, her mother holding her younger brother close to her, her father's arm tight around her, and her little brother looking up at her with wide eyes, the same color as hers.

One of Marlene's saddest memories was the day he died.

* * *

Peter Pettigrew was a nervous and self-conscious sort of boy.

He always felt he didn't deserve to be sorted into Gryffindor, since he never showed any courage or bravery Gryffindor so openly claimed they had.

He didn't feel comfortable walking the corridors without James, Sirius or Remus at his side, because the general public always looked up to them in a way never was. He reckoned he had some street credibility too, but not in the same way they had. They had claimed it due to being good looking and smart. He had claimed it from hanging around with them.

He often believed he didn't fit in with the Marauders. He felt like he was on edge, only there so Sirius had someone to pick on, James had someone doting upon him, and Remus had someone to drag to the library with him when Sirius and James vehemently refused (as they usually did).

He pushed the thought from his mind. It wasn't nice to think of his friends that way.

* * *

Alice had recently started living with Frank. She did it anyway at school, so she didn't see the problem in the two of them sharing a flat in Diagon Alley. It felt natural, like home.

Augusta Longbottom didn't see it that way. She had seemed it fit to deem Alice as needy, whiny, and that Frank could do better. She didn't, unlike everyone else, find Alice the charming little witch as she was usually perceived. This was mainly because she was the only other woman in Frank's life, and she was always worried her little boy would be off quicker than she wanted him to be, because if he left now, and joined the Auror squad as he wanted, she may never see him again. He would be off on missions, never have any spare time for her, and if anything did happen to him, she would never get her goodbye. The thought made her heart break, and though it was unfair and ridiculous, she partly blamed Alice for this, because she knew for a fact it was her idea on the Auror-front.

When Frank's mother had issued her concern to him – that things were too serious between them, that they were just children, that they weren't ready yet – it was what had caused him to move out, and in with Alice, to prove his to his mother that they were serious, and that he loved Alice more than nearly anything in the world. His sweet, kind, funny, albeit slightly annoying Alice.

He knew it pained her to watch him leave for the weeks they spent back home, but it had to be done. He needed her to realize that this wasn't some 'fling', as she had called it before.

He visited her whenever possible, when Alice wasn't moaning about a jar she couldn't open, or for him to quiz her on her knowledge, or when Gideon, Fabian and Cory weren't knocking down his door for him to come and do something entirely reckless.

He felt guilty for leaving his loving mother, but he knew it was the right thing to do. Because if there was one thing in his life he was absolutely certain of, it was Alice Bones.

* * *

Serena has been through this drill many times. Wake up, shower, eat, wake up the kids, shower, bathe, or wash in anyway possible, and run about the kitchen cooking and serving whatever tickled their fancy that morning. Then, drop them wherever they had to be that day, without the use of magic, because they are a Muggle family, with her being the only witch. She does, however, have a sneaking suspicion that Kiera will also share her magical trait. She hopes she doesn't though, because she won't be at Hogwarts the time she is, and it doesn't feel right to let her go by herself.

It was sometimes stressful, sometimes annoying, and mostly exhausting. She didn't mind it much, though.

In fact, she rather liked it.

Her alarm rang at six am on the dot, stirring her from her soundless sleep. Quietly yawning and stretching, as to not awake her still-sleeping sisters, she trudged to the bathroom and switched on the water. Slowly she slipped in, arching her back as the steaming water trickled down. Shampoos and conditioners were lathered into her messy tangle of hair, filling the room with scents of vanilla.

Now dry and dressed in a pair of jogging bottoms and a tank top, she hurried over to her little sisters' beds, and woke the two sleeping girls there.

They are beautiful.

They both have the same face shape as Serena; squared jaw and large forehead, but they have elegance about them, even for children so young. The elder of the two has a fringe, which balances out with her eyes. They, unlike Serena's, are smaller and almost golden. The other, the youngest in the family, has less of a hard jaw, and more cheeks than anything. She has Serena's big eyes, and the same insanely curly hair, although hers fall in ringlets, not a wild mess.

She's shaking the girl to the left – the eldest, Amber – to try and wake her. Amber is usually quiet, so she will not go about waking up the rest of the house. The exchange breathy good mornings, and she lets Amber off to take a shower. She crosses over to the bed on the right, and shakes her awake all the same. Kiera is barley just a toddler, and has just moved from a cot to a real bed. She feels like a big girl now.

Kiera wakes up and gives her big sister a huge, gap-toothed grin. She adores her eldest sister, for reasons Serena isn't too sure of. She hugs the small child and tells her to go and get Amber to start running a bath – the boys prefer to have battleship wars in the tub than actually washing – and she waddles off, still slightly tipsy on her feet.

She leaves her cramped room and heads over to the door opposite. Four boys are laying haphazardly on beds, some now too tall for the general space, and have limbs falling off the thing. She smiles to herself.

Their room is slightly larger than the girl's, but that is because of the extra person in their room. A bunk bed is in the corner, and that is where she heads first. Waking up the younger boys always works, for they roll about a while before actually getting up.

She can hear the sound of running water.

Leo and Seth are woken in turn. They are the only a few months apart, and look so much alike that people think them twins. Leo, the elder of the two, is on the top bunk. He complains most about being awoken. Seth complains too, but not as much.

By the time she's stirred Samson, she can hear Leon climbing down the makeshift ladder on their beds. They broke the original, so a new one was in order. Damien, the eldest of the boys, wakes up without her prodding and poking. It's nice, she thinks. He's a few years older than her, but far taller, and acts just as mature as she does. It's nice to see him, he's never home. She's glad he is, because with all of the kids, it's sometimes hard to keep them in order.

Amber comes running in with her arms soaking.

"Bath's done," she breathes out, looking quickly to Serena, then to the wrestling seven and eight year olds. Amber, like her eldest siblings, acts far more mature than she should. She's barely eleven, but acts like she's Serena's age. It pains her slightly, because she doesn't want any of her siblings to loose their childhood like she and Damien have. But there isn't much she can do.

"Leo! Seth! Bath!" Serena snaps, because that's the only way to deal with the rambunctious kids. Their heads snap up, and they give her an ashamed look. She frowns slightly at them, to let them now she isn't kidding, but they know it's all for show. They give her two wide grins and scuttle off to the bathroom. Amber's hair is soaked, and she's thrown on an ensemble similar to Serena's. "Dry your hair, honey," she says, turning to the girl, like her, tall for her age. She nods and leaves the room too.

"Have you got your school letter yet?" Damien asks. It's always a bit of a struggle to pay for all the school supplies. Despite the fact it's damn hard to exchange Muggle money to wizarding money, there is also the problem with the lack of it. Damien, now done with school, tries his hardest to work and feed the family of seven. Serena and Samson have also taken up on summer jobs. Samson has it hardest, she thinks, because despite his nine-to-seven working hours, he still has to revise for his tests and exams that are to be taken in his last year of school. She still has her NEWTS next year, but its still a year away. His, are a matter of months.

She tries to insist for him to stay home and study, but he just gives her this exasperated look and tells her to shut up.

"Not yet," she replies, even though she has. She doesn't want to worry him with the impending money that needs to be made by September first.

"Oh really?" he asks her skeptically. "So why was this scrunched up in the bin?" he holds up the envelope the letter came in, the yellowed parchment crumpled, the wax seal with the Hogwarts crest standing out like a flashing neon sign.

"Um…" she presses her already thin lips together, glancing furtively at him.

"I'll take up another shift," he offers.

She looks at him as if he's mad. "No way."

"I doubt your lots going to come cheap," he retorts, and then nods to the door. "And Keira is starting school. We need to get her some uniform and such." He looks at her again, this time his face pulling into a slight frown. "Are you sure she's not like you?" she has shared her concerns with her brother. He, like the rest of the family, is a Muggle. His isn't too sure how the whole thing works, but listened to her all the same.

She looks to the door, and bites her lip. "I'm honestly not sure," she replies. She knows she didn't start showing off her magical abilities until she was around six, and scared the life out of her parents. Keira is only four, so she still has another couple more years to show off her magical prowess. She knows Lily, a fellow Muggleborn, started levitating things and blowing stuff up by the time she was four, and Mary didn't show until the night before her seventh birthday. In some ways she hopes Keira turns out to be a witch, just so Serena doesn't feel like such an outcast of the family. She knows it's silly to feel like she does, but she can't help it. Her brothers aren't like her, and neither is Amber, so she feels like the odd one out.

"Should we still send her to school?"

Serena had to be taken out of hers. She had attended the local Catholic Church school, and when she began to make things like chalkboard erasers fly about the room and attack people who were mean to her and made fun of her glasses, her parents found it best to remove her. She was homeschooled after that.

"Yeah," she sighs out. "Because if she isn't, then she's instantly behind. And if we send her after, everyone will already have their own groups of friends and she'll be an outcast."

He shrugs at her and nods. "Fair enough." He looks at the clock. "When are you off?"

"Ten," she runs a hand through her tangles. "You?"

"Five minutes."

"Get going then!"

He looks at the clock again, and then back at her. "You going to be okay?"

"I'm fine everyday, aren't I?"

He nods. "I'll try and get off early. I'll do dinner."

"Don't worry, just get going!" she leaves the room as he shrugs on a jumper he's picked up from the floor, and struggles to hop into a pair of trousers that he's yanked from the shared wardrobe.

She's reached the bathroom and has spent the last couple of minutes bathing Leo and Seth, who have resorted to throwing plastic bath toys at each other. She hears Damien call out his goodbyes, and slams the door shut. Finally the two are clean, and then have a race to find who can dress first. It's Seth's birthday in two months, and she feels awful. She's going to miss her baby brother's birthday once again. She always tries to send him the best present possible, because despite being rather straight-laced and an all round good student, she does skive off lessons now and then to go to Hogsmeade.

It's nearly a tradition now, and the teachers have grown accustomed to her not turning up to lessons on the 15th of October. The same goes for 29th of March, which is the day before Leo's birthday. She hates missing them, but they always get amazing presents of wizarding sweets from Honeydukes, sets of Exploding Snap cards, even a set of wizarding chess pieces (which she _did_ win from a Christmas cracker, but they didn't need to know that).

She always comes back, every holiday (the crackers were sent to her from Bethany, who had stayed with the rest of the girls at Hogwarts), even if she doesn't exactly want to, because she can't leave them, especially not on Christmas. After their Mum and Dad died, Serena took over the role of mother (the fatherly-figure role was shared between Samson and Damien), and mothers do not leave their children on occasions such as Christmas. They are also meant to be in attendance of birthdays, but sometimes it just isn't possible.

* * *

Their nephews, Charlie, Bill and Percy, positively adored their uncles Gideon and Fabian.

It was with this knowledge that Molly Weasley happily left them with the two, while her and Arthur went out to dinner that night.

"Uncy Gidebon! Uncy Fabiban!" Bill had yelled when he had seen the blondy-ginger boys enter their small but comfortable and homely house. It was very Molly. Affection for their nephew ran through them both when they heard Bill call them that. He had the funniest of lisps.

"Bill! My main man!" Fabian had called back, running over to the excited little kid who had just slammed his person to his leg, hugging it. He ruffled his bright ginger hair. Molly had always had redder hair than both him and Gideon, and Arthur's hair was even more so. It was rather unfortunate for their kids. They would always be cursed with the ginger trait.

"Why are you here?" Charlie had asked Gideon as soon as he walked to the kitchen, to find out what all the noise was.

"Nice to see you too, mate," Gideon had replied. "We're here because your Mummy and Daddy asked."

"But why?"

"Because they want to go out for the night."

"But why?"

"Because they seem to think their sex life needs some revamping –"

It was a wonder he got that far into his sentence.

"GIDEON!" Molly had snapped at him, whacking him upside the back of his head with her slipper.

He had only chuckled and leant in close to whisper to Charlie "don't let Mummy have any more babies. She has enough," to which he predictably replied to as "but _why_?"

Arthur had come down soon after the exchange, and greeted the twins as if they were his own brothers. Arthur was like that. He was a funny, maybe a bit off his rocker and had a slightly strange obsession with Muggles, but he was also very loving and caring, and if something was important to Molly, it was important to him. The respected him for that. Molly couldn't have found someone who loved her more.

After pleasantries had been exchanged, and their big sister had warned them not to do anything reckless with the kids there, and told them what time to put them to bed and what to give them for dinner (which they dutifully ignored – there was a reason the boy liked them better than their other uncles), they left.

They had Flooed Frank (with Bill pushing his face in the flames every now and again to be included), asking him if Alice could cook them all pizzas, for she was a fabulous cook.

In the half an hour it took for Alice to cook the food and for both of them to deliver it (Alice, because she didn't trust Frank to get them there in one piece, and Frank because he wanted to see two of his best mates), Charlie had cried due to loosing his favourite dragon toy – a Ukrainian Ironbelly – Percy had wailed loudly several times because he wanted his Mum, and Bill had given both of his uncles several bruises, because he was a rather boisterous boy who didn't know his own strength.

They had all shut up when the food arrived though – special arrangements had been made for Percy, who didn't have teeth yet, courtesy of Alice – and then after the couple had said their goodbyes and Apparated back to their little flat, they kids had fallen asleep one by one, Percy first, Charlie second, and Bill last, mainly because he insisted he was a big boy like the two, and he could stay up just as late as they did.

By the time Molly and Arthur had returned, they found all of the boys asleep on their small, patchwork sofa, Bill squashed in between Gideon and Fabian, whose heads had lolled back, with Charlie on the floor, head resting on Fabian's knee, and Percy in Gideon's arms.

The image brought tears of joy and pride to Molly's eyes.

* * *

Remus Lupin loathes his very existence. It is an awful feeling, to hate ones self as much as he did. You hear people complain about certain aspects of their life, how they _hate_ their parents for not letting them go to a party, how they _despise_ their body shape, how they _wish_ they were dead. Complaints like these make Remus generally very angry. If they knew how lucky they had it, they would be quiet.

He loves his father, even if he is slightly afraid of his son's lycanthropy. He can't blame him, after all, even if he was the one to tick of Fenrir Greyback.

He has good reason to hate his body, for every month it turns into one of a huge, snarling beast with large, sharp teeth and long, hooked claws.

However, he would never wish his death upon himself. It would be the coward's way out, and Remus Lupin was no coward.

He couldn't do that to his already unstable Dad, who still wasn't all there after his wife did just that.

He couldn't do that to Dumbledore, who, despite all arguments and prejudices, still allowed him to attend Hogwarts and helped him as best he could.

He couldn't do that to the Marauders, who were his brothers in every sense possible, aside from blood, who had turned Animagi for him, who had accepted him, even with knowing nothing about him but his name and condition.

* * *

Everyone knew Hestia was very close with Cory. That's just the way twins were.

While she would have preferred him to be a girl, so she could have someone to gossip and paint nails with, it was okay. She had Mary, Marlene and Bethany for that.

And while he would have preferred her to be a boy, so he could have someone to wrestle and play Quidditch with, it was okay. He had Frank, Gideon and Fabian for that.

In some ways, it was much better for them to have each other. They were quite the pair, Cory being nice, considerate and athletic, Hestia being rather rude, loud and a bit of a gossip.

So while Cory tried to convince Hestia to come out and play just one game so he could practice his Keeping, and she tried to convince him to sit around in her room on her plush, pink cushions, and bitch about Bertha Jorkins's terrible new haircut (it was actually a rather nice do, but the two had been at each others throats since Bertha had started the rumor – though maybe entirely true – of seeing Hestia half naked in a broom cupboard with Tarquin McTavish), they recognized their differences, and instead of arguing about it as most siblings would, they respected the other for their interests, and in the end Hestia did end up on Cory's old Silver Arrow, lobbing wonky shots of the Quaffle at him, and he did end up in her room, listening to her complain about different people at a madly fast pace, offering up negative (though not entirely true) opinions on them whenever he could get a word in.

Yes, it was fair to say they were very close.

* * *

Sirius Black was bored.

There was no other way to put it. He was simply bored.

He could go and replay his Muggle records again, just to spite his mother, but he had listened to 'Look into the Future; an almost inhumane amount of times, and was pretty sure he could recite the order of every song, then repeat every single lyric effortlessly.

It had been a gift from Lily, the album in question, for no other reason than she knew he had a fondness for Muggle artists, and she felt like giving him a present.

It was strange, Lily's friendship with him. Merlin knows it had nearly killed James. He didn't do too well with jealousy, and the fact she had no problem with any of the Marauders other than him drove him up the wall.

He smiled to himself.

If only he knew what they really spoke about when they were passing notes in class, or when they met up in Hogsmeade and sat around in the Three Broomsticks.

* * *

**A/N:** Confused? This chapter is a bit confusing, I will admit. I confused myself (sort of). But this is just a bit of a back-story-esque, what everyone else did over the summer type thing, because this story isn't just purely jily drabble (even if they are the main). I would add in every other pairing but, where's the fun in that?


	6. Mornings on Trains

**A/N:** It's coming. We have a matter of days. Hold me.

**Disclaimer:** JKR. I can't. It hurts. What are you doing to me?

**Spoiler: **I'm a wolfstar shipper. It still hurts.

* * *

-Chapter Six-

Mornings on Trains

"It's like going back to school. You know, autumn! Time for 'Harry Potter'." - Robbie Coltraine

It was an awful day to be aboard a train, really.

Several elder students who had attended the annual last-day-of-the-break party had already vomited, leaving the undeniable stench of the stuff in the air, no matter how many Refreshing Charms were cast.

Nervous First-Years were still wandering amicably down the carriages, despite the ride having now been on its way for a good half an hour or so.

Annoying Third and Fourth-Years had recently taken to terrorizing them, Lily and several other Prefects intervening and setting them straight on more than one occasion.

Sounds of lustful couples could be heard in nearby compartments and toilets, obviously having been away from their other half for too long to even bother with a Muffilato Charm. The moans and groans from a couple of doors down sounded an awful lot like Emmeline Vance, Lily's fellow Prefect, a Ravenclaw who had a very distinguishable voice, for it was pitched lower than most girls' and it had a raspy, nasal hint to it, aswell. It was common knowledge she had been seeing Diagoras Todd, who belonged to Hufflepuff, for quite some time. It seemed they hadn't quite had the chance to meet up over the summer.

It really was an awful day to be aboard a train.

That Morning

Frank and Alice had arrived together, feeling ever-so-grown-up, now that they could Apparate to Kings Cross, and not need to make the journey by other means.

Frank had been the perfect gentleman, as always, and had carried her trunk for her, with surprising ease (she got the feeling he had charmed them to be weightless, but the sweetness of the gesture was not lost upon her).

They had wandered the near empty concrete for some time – Alice being… Alice, had decided that they needed to leave earlier, listing all the things that could possibly go wrong, ranging from missing the train by a fraction of a second because they had Apparated too far away, to the rumored dragons that lived under Gringotts breaking free, which then lead to her describing an extremely gruesome and intricately detailed version of her own demise.

(It was then that Frank had then decided to take a leaf out of her friends' book, and handed her a vial of Calming Drought that was at the bottom of her trunk – along with a note from Marlene, with the imprinted words of _'Use it well, Frank.'_)

* * *

It wasn't that Lily didn't feel guilty for not spending her last two weeks of holiday with Bethany (she honestly felt awful – she planned to go home Christmas, no matter what), but _Merlin_, it was a relief.

She wasn't sure how much more of Petunia she could take. She had been on about a new typist course she had planned in _London_, oh wasn't Lily jealous? Yes, especially since all she had going for her was four 'Outstanding' OWLs, five 'Exceeds Expectations' and an 'Acceptable' – but said 'Acceptable was in Divination, and no one cares about Divination (or so Lily told herself). These bragging remarks about her grades, and general annoyance at her sister were entirely internal. On the outside, all she did was gush over her sister (which was completely fake), and then watch as Petunia turned up her pointy and large nose up at her about how she would never get a job as dignified as the one she had landed due to her 'freak-ism'. Lily, on more than one occasion, had pointed out that it was a course, not a job.

She wasn't sure how many forced conversations she could take with her mother, along with the pointless shame she felt whenever she did speak to her. She couldn't help the fact she was a witch, and she had never planned to go into law anyway, despite what her mother believed. But the nagging that she had let her mother down somewhat terrible never left her.

She wasn't sure how much longer she could stomach the aura in the house. With her mother and father practically oozing with the love they had for each other (while her family may seem dysfunctional and uneasy, it was a near impossible notion to think that her parents weren't entirely in love), and the hatred that was like an arrow being shot at her from her sister, it all made her feel very uneasy. She wasn't one for extreme emotion, and the house was filled with just that.

Her Dad, who worked as a black taxi driver, was never around much during they day, mainly because he was dead to the world. His body clock was the opposite of regular peoples, mainly due to the fact he worked the night shift. Lily tried hard to not be too disappointed by this, for she always did stay up till her father was scheduled to return – or tried to. It had become more like sleeping on the couch until 6am, then waking up to his return and deciding to just start cooking breakfast because she would be getting up in an hour or two if she was to go back to sleep – and they had a brief but lovely chat over a mug of hot drink – tea for him, coffee for her – and then she would shoo him up to bed, wait the day until he woke up around four pm, have another talk, then repeat. It wasn't too bad a routine. The chats she shared were usually worth it.

She had already written them a number of times during her stay, using Beth's owl, Perthshire, with numerous apologies to and imaginary cups of tea, so her father could pretend it was 6am and they were having their little talks. They had always replied, her Dad jokingly writing back how the tea was delicious and how he returned the favor with his imaginary coffee, her mother on how it's alright and how she hoped she was enjoying herself and having fun, and how it all worked out for the best anyway, due to the fact that she had to be at the office on September first, and it would have been up to Petunia to drop her, who – she did try to put it in the nicest of ways, making up excuses and everything – would rather stick needles into her dull blue-grey eyes than take her to the station.

So it was with a resigned sigh that she gave in, telling her family that she loved them and would write as soon as she got to the castle, that she repacked her worn and battered trunk, which was a tired, pale lilac (her favourite color), with her initials on it in chipped purple paint, a few shades darker than the trunk's, and prepared for the journey.

Beth had woken before her, per usual, and was multitasking, throwing socks into her brand new trunk she had bought at the beginning of her stay when they ventured to Diagon Alley for supplies. She was also making a rather loud racket, singing at the top of her lungs to a heavy-metal crash omitting from the radio Alice had gotten her for her birthday a few years back. She also seemed it fitting to kick and punch and poke Lily repeatedly until she was stirred from her peaceful slumber in her grand, silken and soft double bed.

"Remind me why you're my best mate?" she had grumbled a few minutes ago, along with signaling Beth a rude gesture.

Beth had replied dutifully with one in return, that had insinuated rather inappropriate and intimate things.

"Who're you doing that to then?"

"Whom," she corrected. "And no one… yet," she added mischievously, flashing Lily a devilish grin and a wink before ripping the sheets from her desperate clutch.

"I haven't even woken up properly yet and I'm already scarred for life," she muttered, hoisting her small frame up from the springing, feather-filled mattress, and shooting the Metamorphagus across the room from her a murderous glare. She knew better than to try to take the quilt back from her, because she could always just squeeze her eyes shut for a moment before opening them again, with her arms twice the size they were before, bulky with muscle, giving her more strength than Lily would ever have in her life.

"Again… Please remind me why we are best mates?"

"Because I'm beautiful and lovely and kind and fabulous and your life would be meaningless without me in it."

"Also that modesty… it's hard to find people like that these days," she added sarcastically.

"I'm turning into James Potter before your very eyes," she laughed, as Lily rolled off the royally sized bed, and began lugging herself over to the wardrobe where her various, colorful articles of clothing hung.

"He's not _that_ bad…" she mumbled, yanking a handful of yellow and red and blue and green garments from their position on the metal hangers of the wardrobe.

"Lils, are you feeling okay?" Beth quizzed, frowning lightly but grinning either way. She had gotten used to her defending James here and there.

"Hush up," she replied lightly, lacking her usual sharpness from the time of the day. Lily was always half herself at anytime before ten.

"I'll go get you a coffee," she offered.

"You do that."

Beth grinned winningly at her sleepy friend as she packed up her things, as she made to leave the room, only to find her House-Elf, Tizzy, already at the door, bearing a steaming mug of the liquid.

"Tizzy is hearing Missus' friend Miss Evans is liking coffee in the mornings, Missus!" she said quickly, as if Beth would be offended that she had brought the drink.

"Thank you, Tizz," she replied sweetly, smiling warmly at the small, skinny Elf.

"It is Tizzy's pleasure, Missus!" she squeaked, handing over the mug. "Can Tizzy do anything else, Missus?"

"No, you can go and take a nice, long nap, if you want to."

Tizzy looked shocked by the very notion. "Missus! Tizzy cannot sleep whilst the noble family of Colebrook needs serving!"

Beth rolled her eyes. "We're good. We don't need help, sweetheart." It was Beth's father who had trained their House-Elf to think like this. He was a proud pureblood, who – although he didn't believe in the whole purity movement going on – thought himself slightly better than Muggleborns. She wasn't very close with her Dad for that reason, and although Lily understood the root of their issues, she couldn't imagine what her life would be like if she wasn't as close with her Dad as she was. The same could be said for Beth, on her views with Lily's relationship with her mother.

"Is Missus sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

Tizzy bowed, her huge ears flapping slightly at the movement, and scurried out of the large room.

"Sorry about that," Beth apologized hesitantly. It wasn't that she didn't like Tizzy; it was that she didn't like her calling her 'Missus' and having her tend to her every will. It felt wrong, and to have Lily witness the exchange was slightly mortifying. She also didn't like how she reminded her of her Dad, with his – what he thought to be harmless – jokes about Lily's blood over the dinner table, to which she answered politely, with a false smile cast across her features. She knew he didn't mean anything highly offensive, he believed everyone thought the way he did. It was his ignorance that Beth despised most about her foolish father.

"S'no problem," she replied, stifling a yawn. "Coulda asked her to pack for us, though."

"That's not fair!" Beth snapped heatedly. She couldn't stomach how willingly people ordered around the Elves. In all her life, she had never ordered Tizzy to do anything but take a nap, sit down, or relax.

"I'm _joking_," Lily drawled, "I love Tizz. She makes amazing coffee." As to emphasize this point, she flung her armful of clothes into her trunk and snatched it from her, taking a long swig and wiping her mouth with her sleeve afterward.

"Ladylike," she commented sarcastically.

"That's me, alright."

Beth glanced over at her clock, which glowed brightly from her nightstand.

"Shit!" she cursed. "Hurry up, Evans! We've got to be there soon!"

"Bumble, we have over three hours." She answered tiredly. It was true. The time was barely nine.

"But we have to finish packing and Floo to the Leaky Cauldron and the walk from there to Kings Cross is a _bitch_."

"I don't think the walk from the Cauldron to the station is to pleased to hear that."

"Har de har har. Get dressed, slut."

"No one sees you in pajamas, anyway. I'm hardly the slut."

"You sleep in next to nothing!" she protested, waving her arms at Lily's ensemble. It was true, and she knew it. But she wasn't ashamed of it; she just didn't like sleeping in lots of clingy clothes. She felt restricted and uncomfortable in them, so she usually found herself in pants and the odd baggy tee. She wasn't about to apologize for it, though.

"Don't hear anyone complaining," she retorted, to which Beth gave an exasperated huff, and muttered under her breath a sentence that sounded much like 'no, they wouldn't be when you're straddling them'.

"Just pack… and put some clothes on," she added as an afterthought.

"Aye, aye, cap'n."

Half an hour later they were both packed, Lily properly clothed, and Beth surprisingly out of sorts, worried about if they would make the train in time, but in her own way, not full blown panic like Serena or Alice, nor complete indifference, like Lily or Marlene.

"I'm supposed to be doing this, remember?" Lily teased as Beth ran her fingers nervously through her ringlets of baby blue. Today, she sported a look that seemed to be rather toned down from previous styles. She had run through nearly every color in the rainbow over the duration of her stay, and had never failed to surprise Lily with her ever-changing appearance. One of the more daring days, when she was planning to meet a bloke who she deemed fit, she had made her already long legs grow several inches, her chest expand and her waist shrink, whilst her hair was straightened and fell to her shoulders, giving her the look of someone far older and more mature than she was. Needless to say, she had returned looking extremely pleased with herself. "I'm the Prefect."

"Yeah, yeah," she grumbled. Suddenly her face broke out into a grin, and she laughed exuberantly, despite there being nothing incredibly funny about what had just been said.

"Care to share?"

"It's not that funny," she waved off. "I was just wondering how awful and lazy the school would become if you were like Head Girl or Headmistress or something."

"You're right, it's not that funny."

"Can you imagine it? Oh where's the Headmistress? Sleeping. Where's the Head Girl to sort out the fight? Oh, she's in detention, she skived off the other day to spend it in bed and the kitchens," she laughed.

Lily narrowed her eyes at her in turn, and worried for her friend's mental health due to her continued laughter.

"Oh, come on, you have to admit you'd be an awful Head."

"Watch how you'll be eating those words when I get my badge next year," she snapped. While she tried to keep up her angry demeanor, she couldn't help but burst into hysteria along with her best friend. It was true; she would be the worst Head to ever grace Hogwarts. If she didn't have her friends waking her up, getting her her routine breakfast drink, yanking her off to class and keeping her awake during said classes by jabbing her with their quills, she was sure that she would be expelled. She was shocked she was given the position as Prefect in the first place.

She knew she was a good student all round usually, got on with most of her professors, did her homework and was an active addition to the classroom, but it was usually only half-hearted, unless the subject was Charms or Potions. Transfiguration was also on the list, but it was usually because she ruddy hated the subject, mainly because she could never get the hang of it. McGonagall always told her that she was too flimsy with her movements, to flicky and twirly, that she was better suited for Charms than her subject. Lily fully agreed, but it didn't rid her of the constant annoyance that she couldn't excel in said subject like she could in every other (sans Divination, but again, no one really cares about it).

It was these reasons she didn't really feel the need to attend lessons, because (although it may seem entirely arrogant on her part) she already knew most of the things being taught. She was sure if she slept in, holed herself off to the kitchens midmorning then spent the remainder of the day in the cushy, plush seats of the library hunched over a few thick texts, she would learn just as much as she did in any lesson.

But it didn't stop her from taking notes and listening just as intently in the lessons, either. It was just her usual lack of motivation at morning hours that gave her these thoughts. She really wasn't a morning sort of person.

"Come on, I've found the powder," Beth said with traces of laughter still in her voice, successfully interrupting her reverie.

"Sure," she replied, grabbing her trunk by the handle and walking over to her friend.

"Don't get lost, kay?"

"I'm not a kid," she grumbled.

"Beg to differ."

Lily rolled her eyes, and grabbed a handful of the fine, rough shards of grey, before throwing them neatly into the blazing fire. Just as they flashed green, she hopped in, yelling "The Leaky Cauldron!" as she did. The warm flames engulfed her, dragging her from Bethany's neat and cozy lounge to the grimy and tired pub.

Tom, the barman, noticed her as soon as she stepped out. "How many more?" he asked with an almost pained expression. She couldn't fathom why, but kept it to herself.

"Just the one more," she answered sweetly, flashing him a smile. He only grunted in response, but his face let up some.

In a few seconds, Beth was at her side. "Off to Hogwarts!" she declared, earning her several funny looks from old drinkers that littered the dingy pub, and a glare from Tom.

"Off to Hogwarts!" Lily repeated just as loudly as Beth had first cried, grinning stupidly and taking her friend's hand and dragged her from the pub.

* * *

When the pair reached Kings Cross (Lily had to admit Beth was right, the walk to the place in question from their previous destination _was_ a bitch), they found Alice and Frank sitting on a metal bench in between the concrete pillars. They were quick to join them, after heaving their trunks up into the storage space on the train, and made idle small talk about their holidays. Lily and Beth congratulated the couple on their living together, leaving Alice flustered and slightly embarrassed after Beth's inappropriate remarks.

Without realizing, the platform around them slowly filled, more students and their parents joining, a dull hum of voices echoing about them.

Suddenly, a pair of hands clamped over Lily's eyes.

"Who's that?" she laughed. The pair of hands just tightened their grip, as if to say she had to guess. She could hear Beth laugh from beside her and Alice mutter something.

Her captor was hissing at Beth, as to hush her.

"Marlene?" she asked.

The person behind her snorted. "Do I really have hands like a woman?"

She laughed. "Get off, Potter!" He released his hold on her, and greeted her with a wide grin as she flipped around in her seat to glare at him. "And yes, you do."

"It must be all that moisturizer," he joked, stroking his face.

Lily just quirked an eyebrow.

"So, how's the hangover?"

"I wasn't _that_ drunk!" she defended.

"_Yeah_… So, no headaches?"

"I'm surprisingly alright."

"Damn, you are better at holding it down than me. I had to down a glass of that hangover-ey potion."

"It's _called_ the intoxication cure," she corrected.

"Oh you would know, Sluggy's little princess," he retorted.

"Shut up."

"Make me."

Their faces were close now, James grinning crookedly at her, Lily smirking, her eyes still slightly narrowed.

"Am I missing something?" Alice finally asked, cutting into the silent conversation the pair were having through their eyes. Lily couldn't help but admit his eyes were fantastic. Gold and green and brown and amber and all those colors that reminded her of autumn, all blended into one, and so _alive_, gleaming and twinkling with mischief and an undercurrent of emotion. It was entrancing, and she found it hard to look away. She didn't realize she had been so close to him, because she had been so lost in his eyes. By the time she had turned to face Alice, her face was the same shade as her hair.

"Uh…?" she asked stupidly.

"They somehow became friends over the holidays," Beth supplied helpfully. "I don't even know what's going on."

Half of Alice's face pulled up into a thoughtful expression, her eyebrows lifted in surprise, her eyes looking over the two skeptically. Alice was the master of mixed emotions, and could display nearly everything on her sweet, heart shaped face. She gave them a light hum, then turned and resumed her conversation with Frank, Fabian and Gideon, who had also joined a few minutes ago.

"Is that Serena over there?" Beth asked no one in particular, in a shocked voice a few moments later.

"Where?"

"Are you blind, Ginge? She's face shagging in the middle of the platform!"

"That's not her!"

"Potter, since when has our Ser been snogging Moore?"

James eyes flicked up, as though he had been awoken from a daydream. He had been watching Lily's hair, the way the light hit it as she moved, how it tumbled just perfectly to her shoulders in soft curls, how she made it look effortless at best. He was also thinking over the summer, and how this had been one of his best. Add in Lily and he was sure being tortured by the Cruciatus Curse would be okay. She just had that effect on him.

"What?"

"Serena. Is. Snogging. Moore." She said dramatically, pointing over to the pair.

"It's not her!"

"That's new."

Beth looked at him in disbelief. "That's _new_? That's all you have to say?"

"Not that close with him," he shrugged. "I dunno what he gets up to in his spare time."

Both girls turned to him and frowned, their mouths hanging open slightly. "She isn't some cheap whore!" Lily snapped.

"Never said she was!" he backtracked, holding up his hands in defeat. "Didn't you just say it wasn't her?"

Lily shot him another contemptuous glare that she didn't really mean, before her and Beth rose, with the intention of asking Serena (or not Serena) what the hell she was playing at.

Lily made it a few steps into the throng of students she was accosted by her boyfriend.

"Lily," he greeted her, with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Jesse!" Lily sang, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

"I'll just go on alone then," Beth grumbled, stalking off.

"How's your summer been?" she asked as she let go.

"Terrible," he moaned.

She frowned. "Why?"

"I didn't see a certain person for more than a few days, and it tore me apart," he claimed, speaking in a voice that sounded like it was trying to be convincing, but not really achieving. Lily chose to ignore the not-achieving part.

"I'm sure the certain someone missed you just as much as you missed them."

"I wouldn't agree," he said, finally showing the real reason he had sought her out.

"Hm?"

"The person I missed seemed fine all holiday, going to weddings, laying out in the sun, _making new friends_…"

"I really was sunbathing!" she protested, oblivious to what he meant. "I said you could come over if you wanted, but my Mum was home…"

"That's not what I meant," he growled.

She fixed him with a funny look. She noticed his eyes were much harder to get lost in. The blue of his irises were icy, flecked with silver and darker blues. They were pretty, yes, but they reminded her of winter, and cold, and darkness. Autumn was much brighter, with the bite of cold and also the hints of sun, never too much, never too little, all adding together beautifully.

"What did you mean then?"

"Since when have you been chummy with Potter?" he asked harshly, his icy eyes glinting, but not in the way James' had. The way they glinted was hinting on malevolent.

"Only recently," she mumbled. It was like him to get jealous of her talking to guys. While she was flattered (sort of), it also annoyed her to no end. He was so insistent on thinking her unfaithful, and it hurt her to think he thought so low of her.

"What are you doing, going and talking to him for?"

"I didn't know it was a problem," she replied, aiming for irritated, but it was much more watered down than she usually showed. She knew if she were her usual angry, short-tempered self, he would get angry and then refuse to speak to her. It had happened before, and she didn't like it at all.

"He has been asking you out for the past year, and you don't find it a problem, not that you're speaking to him?"

"Not exactly. I just don't want there to be any ill-feeling passing through the house," she defended. Yes, it was a reason, so she wasn't lying, she told herself. It was one of the first pros that had come to her when she made her little positive-negative list. It was her way of defending her actions. She had made it when she found out how nice and fun it was to talk to him.

"He's using you, Flower!" he snapped. Lily furrowed her brow in irritation. She didn't like the pet name he gave her. Flower made her seem so delicate, so fragile, like she couldn't handle her self for a second. She wasn't any of those things. She was fire.

All of a sudden, she just lost her cool. She was shocked as to Serena's antics, still slightly embarrassed and wary of how she had felt when she was that close to James' face, annoyed due to the loathed nickname he had bestowed her, and she just wanted him to shut up about her life, when he had been about as responsive as a rock when she wrote to him over the summer.

"Leave it, Jesse!" she snapped. To be honest, it wasn't that bad. The list of things she could have berated him on was infinite, and all she had said was 'Leave it,' not a cruel curse word she usually would have said. Still, it was enough to leave him shocked and angry, to the point of him clenching his jaw and glaring at her stonily.

"I'm sorry," she apologized tiredly, running a hand through her hair. "It's an early morning, and my friends are acting weird, and-"

"No," he said coolly. "You've made your point clear. I'll 'leave it'."

"Don't be like that…"

He shrugged his shoulders and held up his hands, the same way James had just done, but somehow it didn't seem to hold the same playful yet apologetic aura his held. "I'll see you later."

"Jesse…" she whined quietly, as he brushed past her and over to his group of Ravenclaw friends. She sighed in irritation, confused and annoyed.

She made her way to her two friends, who were deep in conversation, Beth looking annoyed but amused, Serena exasperated and embarrassed.

"Ginge! You'll never guess what! _Serena_ is-"

"I'm sure its lovely, congrats on whatever Ser, I'm over the moon for you, but I'm going to bed."

"Y'alright?" Beth asked her concernedly.

"Peachy."

"The train doesn't leave for another quarter of an hour," she added.

"Fifteen minutes more rest for me."

"Okay…" she answered, shrugging lightly, still watching her with concern.

"I'll fill you in later, sweetie." Serena added, smiling at her, her cheeks flush.

"Can't wait," she replied unenthusiastically. Fighting with Jesse always tired her out, because she was always the one at fault, always her to blame, and it tired her to no end. It was like her fights with Snape, repetitive and unnecessary, only there was more at stake, because Snape didn't fly off the handle as Jesse always does.

She waved lightly to the two, yawned loudly, and stumbled onto the train. She found their regular compartment, and slid in, thankful to find it empty, even though no one boarded this early, save a few over eager firsties.

Lily fell down face-first on the green cushioning, and rolled until she found a comfy spot. She only had so long to sleep, before everyone clattered in, effectively waking her up. She only had fifteen minutes to ignore everything.

So that's what she did.

* * *

He couldn't understand it.

Sure, he had always missed his friends. His life was dull without them; it only made sense for him to miss them. But it was strange. The way he missed Remus was just… different. It was like something was missing, or… more correctly, some of _him_ was missing. Like there was a hole in him that only he could fill.

He hadn't seen him over the holidays, but they had exchanged letters. He didn't know why Moony couldn't just Floo over to James' while he was there, but he didn't argue. He knew he must have good reason to stay home.

It didn't stop him from missing him, though.

So when he saw him across the platform, talking with someone or another (he didn't pay too much attention, but he thought it to be Dorcas Meadowes), he left James in his quest to win Lily over, and hurried over to him.

Sirius had always been affectionate, so he didn't think anything of running up to him and hugging him. It just felt right, so he did it.

Dorcas left after that, mumbling something under her breath, but he didn't pay her any mind. He was just so excited to see his one of his best friends, in a way he never was with James or Peter. He didn't really understand it, but it had always been that way, so he just let it be.

"Padfoot, you prat!" Remus snapped half-heartedly as he disentangled himself from Sirius.

"What did I do?"

"I was having a lovely conversation with Dorcas, and-"

"She wouldn't be any fun to shag," he said gravely.

Remus' face went slightly pink. "That's not what I was thinking of…"

"She's one of those 'I'm-waiting-until-marriage' types," he advised him.

"I don't_ just_ want a shag, Padfoot, I'm not you."

"I am _offended_, Moony!"

"It's true."

Sirius pretended to consider this for a second. "I guess you're right."

"I know I am," he huffed.

"So what, you in _looooove _Meadowes?" for reasons Sirius couldn't make out for the life of him, this statement sent funny jerks in his stomach, and blind loathing for the quiet, dark haired Hufflepuff Prefect.

"No," he scoffed. "I wouldn't mind taking her to Hogsmeade, though."

"Don't do a James." Sirius teased, but still felt slightly sick. Remus never really had girlfriends, and he should be happy for his mate, but he couldn't ignore the uncomfortable and angry emotions that coursed through him.

"I'm not a stalker," he laughed. "But according to him they're friends now."

"Yeah, its weird, but they were writing to each other all over the holidays. He was _giddy_."

"I can imagine," Remus said soberly. "I am so sorry."

Sirius laughed appreciatively, grinning at his fellow Marauder, but still trying to figure out why he felt so sick at the thought of Remus and Dorcas. They would be lovely together, and it would do him good to have someone.

Remus clapped him on the shoulder. "I'm going to go catch up with her, see you later?"

"Yeah," he replied, pulling him into another embrace, just because he could. Remus didn't object, but left after, walking quickly in the direction Dorcas had just left in.

He knew whom he needed to talk to. He always spoke to her when things like this occurred, because she knew the right things to say, and helped him come to terms with what they meant.

He was on the train the next minute, hopping about carriages to find the girls' usual one.

"Oh Lily dearest!" he sang as he slid open the correct door. He had seen her board the train a few minutes earlier, so he knew she would be there.

"I swear to Merlin, Sirius Orion Black, if this is not a life-or-death situation, I will make it one."

"Always the charmer!"

"What is it, Sirius?"

He plopped himself down next to her as she straightened out, rubbing her eyes and smearing her mascara.

"I need you help," he whined. He held out his wand, "one second, you look like a raccoon."

"Always the charmer," she repeated, glaring at him but letting him fix her eyes nonetheless.

"Done," he said a moment later, shoving his wand back into his pocket.

"What do you need my help with?" she asked him, yawning again.

"Moony. And Dorcas. And I feel like I hate her, despite never having spoken to her."

Lily just smiled in a self-satisfied way.

"What?"

"Nothing," she laughed, winking at him. "Now why do you hate Dorcas? She's lovely!"

"She's the epitome of virginity."

"You can't dislike her due to whether or not she has shagged someone."

"Who says I can't?"

Lily fixed him with a look. "Sirius, what's this about?"

"I…" he sighed, and began again. "I just don't really think my mind likes the idea of Remus and Meadowes."

"And why doesn't your mind like that idea?"

"I'm not too sure."

"Why did you come to me?"

"Because you always know what to do in these situations."

"Do I?"

"Yup. Now fix it."

She looked at him apprehensively.

"Please?"

"Better. So you really have no idea why you're getting mad over the two?"

"No," he pouted.

She looked at him incredulously. "I don't really know what to say here."

"You always know what to say!" he protested.

"Okay… So what do you plan to do about these feelings?"

He frowned slightly, his dark brows pulling at his features, making him look much like a model. "Go find someone to shag, I think."

Lily rolled her eyes and asked exasperatedly, "How on earth is that going to help?"

"You try telling me what to think of when that Ravenclaw with the big tits is sucking your c-"

"Sirius!" she yelled, cutting him off from his explanation.

"Sorry," he apologized quickly, sounding a lot like he didn't really mean it.

She sighed, as though this conversation was causing her physical pain, but grinned anyway.

"I think you need to figure this one out on your own, honey. If I tell you what I think it means, you're just going to deny it," she said, at a length.

"Yeah, that sounds like me." He agreed.

The two sat in silence for a few moments.

"Can I go back to sleep now?"

"Sure, Lils. Sorry," he apologized again.

"No harm done. Have fun with your Ravenclaw."

He laughed and stood, giving her space to lie back down. As he headed for the sliding door, he was interrupted.

"I think it would do you good to mull over just what you feel," she mumbled, her face crushed against the seat once more.

"Will do," he promised, saluting her, even though she couldn't see.

He slid out of the compartment, not feeling any better, but with a clearer head.

* * *

Beth and Serena stuck together, Howard trailing along, with Beth laughing at the two, wondering why they had been so afraid of telling them that they were seeing each other.

Serena pulled all the right faces and apologized profusely, but knew that her friend wasn't buying any of it and wanted the truth.

She hoped her 'I'll-tell-you-later' look got her point across. With the subtle nod of her friend's head, Serena was sure it had.

"Holloway doesn't look to happy," Howie noted as the brooding Ravenclaw passed them.

"Good," Beth replied indifferently, shrugging and glaring at him.

"You really aren't a nice person, are you?"

"You get used to it," she replied.

He grunted in response, seemingly indifferent to whether he did get used to her being a bitch. He knew he would try, but it would be purely for Serena's sake.

"Come, we need to get Alice," she insisted.

Serena's reaction was instant. "Shit, no, no, no, not yet!"

Beth grinned evilly. "Meet the mother," she said quickly to the confused boy, before screaming "ALICE! HEY ALICE! I've got someone for you to meet!"

"Hell is filled with people like you," Serena stated, looking at Beth as though she had just abandoned her on an island with nothing but what was on her person at the moment.

"Hell, B," Alice moaned as she got up from next to Frank (next to was an understatement. She was near sitting on him).

"Mother darling," she sang, "I think you should meet the guy Serena's screwing!"

Her eyes widened, before looking over at Serena, who was bright red and fingering the ends of her jumper nervously, before turning her gaze to Howard, who looked immensely baffled by the scene unfolding before him.

"Howard, is it?" she asked politely, holding out her hand.

"Howard Moore," he replied, shaking her hand. "You can call me Howie?" he wasn't sure how to act around the slightly terrifying yet miniscule girl.

"I don't think so."

"Uh…" he hummed, dropping her tiny hand and scratching the back of his head.

"So, Howard Moore, what are your intentions with my daughter?"

"What?" he asked shocked. "You're not her Mum, are you?" he looked back and forth between them. "You can't be! You aren't even the same ethnicity! You're a pureblood, aren't you?"

Alice eyed him for a second, before loosing her composure and bursting out laughing, soon joined by Beth.

"Did I… Did I say something?" he asked Serena. She just rolled her eyes and smirked slightly, before turning back to her friends.

"Merlin, why didn't we wait for the others?" Beth asked, wiping the tears of mirth from her eyes.

"Ah, Serena, I'm proud!" Alice cheered, before resuming her conversation with Howard, who looked so confused she was sure his brain might explode at any minute.

"Can… What the heck is going on?"

"Initiation ceremony!" Alice laughed. "Welcome! You've been approved!" her eyes trailed from his, and caught sight of Jesse, leaning back on the train. "Not that it means much," she muttered.

"What did I do?"

"Oh, your face," Beth quipped.

"…Thanks?"

"She meant that it looked a picture when I said Ser was my child. Also it adds to the hilarity that you actually believed me. You're okay, kid," she praised, nodding at him and smiling. He tried to ignore the strangeness of it all and just ignore it for his girlfriend.

"Buuut…" she added, "If you _dare_ hurt Serena in _any _way, I will personally find you and slaughter you with my bare hands. I'm training to be an Auror, if that means anything to you."

He swallowed visibly.

Alice broke off into another round of giggles, before straightening out and grinning. "Hello! I'm Alice Helena Bones, and please just ignore what just occurred."

"And, hello! I'm Bethany May Colebrook, and like I said before, you get used to me being an asshole."

Howard grinned at them, before turning to Serena and saying to her quietly "I can see why you didn't want to introduce me."

"Please don't leave me," she begged humorously, pulling a face.

"Never," he replied, wrapping his arms around her tall frame, kissing her lightly on the lips.

"Ugh," Beth groaned. "Please don't let them be worse than you and Frank."

Alice grinned widely at her, and winked. "No one can be worse than me and Frank, dear."

"I probably just have a really dirty mind, but either way – I'm leaving, too much information!"

"Ah, how quickly my girls grow up!" she cooed.

* * *

Ten minutes later, there was a panic to board the train. The group still hadn't found Hestia, Cory, Mary or Marlene, but expected them to meet them and Lily in their usual compartment.

When they had successfully pushed and shoved everyone out of their paths, there was a fumble to get the door open.

Finally, Serena got the lock to unlatch itself, and stumbled inside. Lily was asleep on the left hand side, and she looked so peaceful, it was almost mean to wake her.

"WAKE UP!" Beth yelled in her face as she entered the third compartment along, fourth carriage down.

When Lily only grumbled and rolled over, she grabbed her leg and yanked, causing her friend to fly off her seat and fall to the floor.

"Merlin, Bumble!"

"Oh look, you're awake."

Lily looked as though she was about to lunge and strangle the pastel-blue haired girl above her, but was interrupted by Remus sticking his head in on them.

"Hey girls!" he called. "Lily, get up. We've got a Prefect's meeting."

"Hang on, I need to kill Beth first."

"Lovely."

"Isn't she just?" Beth mocked.

"Come on, Lils. I'll help you kill her later, I just don't want to be late."

"Remus, you are my new best mate."

"Wonderful."

She slid up, using her previous seat as an assistant, and jumped to her feet. Brushing her wavy hair out of her face, she smiled at the boy in the door.

"Come on, NEW BEST FRIEND!" she yelled at Beth, and stalking off, arm in arm with the Marauder, straightening her skirt with her other hand.

"YOU'LL BE BACK!" Beth yelled after them. "THEY ALWAYS COME BACK!"

"Shh," Serena hushed, dragging her back into the cramped space of their compartment.

"They do," Beth insisted.

Serena sighed and sat herself down next to Howard, leaning her head on his shoulder, with his arm wrapped around her. Beth tried to not feel slightly jealous, but it was hard, especially with Alice and Frank on the other side of the compartment, him lying down, head in her lap as she played with his dark locks.

She stayed seated for a while, but soon it was just too much, and she could feel herself about to scream.

"I'm going to find the rest," she said, rising quickly and was out the door before anyone could even open their mouths.

The corridor stank, the last-day-of-the-break party strikes again, she thought. She waved her wand to clear the air, not just for her but also for the whole train. She carried on walking, determined on finding one of her single friends, just to calm her irrational jealousy. Her longing to be close to someone, not just for a day, but for an extended period of time, had gotten worse. Most of the time during Lily's stay she wanted to murder her, despite her being her best friend, just because she was effortlessly beautiful and had guys falling all over themselves to be with her, yet she still stuck with the prat who didn't deserve her. She wasn't too sure if this was the jealousy talking, or her want for James and Lily to get together. Still, it made her feel murderous.

She had made her way to the second carriage, with no sign of an artistic blonde anywhere, or a curvy, raven haired girl either.

"Looking for someone?"

Beth spun around on the spot, to come face to face with a boy who looked strangely familiar.

"Do I know you?" she asked, her brows puckering as she tried to place a name to the face.

"I should hope so," he said. "Or I've spent the past two months thinking I snogged you in a broom cupboard."

"Oh!" she cried in realization. "Hey! I know you!"

"You don't remember my name, do you?"

"Uh…" she thought hard. "Wait, I can do this!"

He watched her as she held up a finger, squeezing one eye shut and biting her lip. "J… J… It was a J, wasn't it?"

"Correct."

"J… Not James… John… Jake… Jam… Jamal!" she cheered, finally remembering.

"Woo! As if I could be forgettable," he said, winking at her and grinning.

"Of course not," she laughed. "And yes, to your first question. Have you seen a blonde or a brunette or even a china doll? I'm desperate."

"I can keep you company," he offered.

"If you want to hear my moaning about my best friends and their relationships, then be my guest."

"It's what I live for," he teased.

"But really though, have you seen them?"

"Why? Don't want to spend time with me?"

"You were serious?"

"Of course," he replied, frowning at her. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Dunno," she shrugged. "You do know what you've got yourself into though, don't you?"

"I've just sat through Amos Diggory lecturing us all about point deductions. I'm sure I can handle a bit of teenage girl whining from someone as pretty as you."

She blushed delicately, smiling up at him. "You're a Prefect?"

"Don't act so surprised."

"I'm not!" she protested. "Do you know Lily Evans? She's a Prefect."

"Everyone knows her either way."

"Meh… I guess you're right."

He laughed. "Rule one, I'm _always_ right."

"Rule two, you wish, I always am."

"Well it's a good thing I'm not with you most of the time then, isn't it? I don't think my fragile brain could handle having to admit I don't own the world."

"Very openly full of yourself, aren't you?"

"And your not?"

"Touché."

* * *

The lost four entered the compartment under five minutes after Beth left. Lily returned with Remus, who left to go and fetch his friends, because he was sure they were wandering about somewhere, not able to find a compartment (even though no one in the room believed it for a second).

Later, he returned with James, Sirius and Peter in tow. Lily made some jibes about Sirius and the Ravenclaw, which earned them both some funny looks, but they both laughed it off.

Playful banter and teasing filled their room, and Lily couldn't help but feel slightly guilty for not giving James the time of day before. He really was a good person, not the bullying prat she had made him out to be. But with her ex-best friend moaning down her ear about him, there wasn't really much she could do. Countless fights had ensued between the two over him. Snape had always hated James, not without reason, she would admit, but it didn't mean it didn't annoy her to no end.

But despite his constant claims that the Gryffindor was evil and cruel and a number of other things, she never really believed it. Her main source of annoyance regarding him was the lack of consistency, and how much he confused her. Lily liked being on top of everything, and knowing, and with him, she never could be. She still couldn't, but it didn't annoy her as much anymore, because she knew him a little better, so she wasn't totally in the dark about the mystery that was James Potter.

* * *

**A/N:** I still can't.


	7. Doesn't Always Make You Stronger

**A/N: **Good day, my beauties! We're on seven! My lucky number! Something had been bothering me recently - said botherment had occurred while reading a fic with a fabulous plot, but filled with such Mary Sueness I wanted to drown myself - and it's that I was worried my characters would become, dare I say it, a Mary Sue. Please, please, _please_ feel free to berate to me and tell me off if you see/have seen any hints at all of the dreaded Mary Sue. Also, I promise to you, I will try to the best of my ability to make all characters will have lives, reasons for being the way they are, blah blah. And also, thank you all for reading, you are a wonderful person and deserve so many virtual cookies and kitties and hugs and Taylor Swift albums.

**Disclaimer:** Everything belongs to Queen Rowling™. I own nothing because I am a lonely, socially awkward teenager who is terrified of her characters becoming Mary Sues/Gary Stus™.

* * *

-Chapter Seven-

Doesn't Always Make You Stronger

"Do not pray for easier lives. Pray to be stronger men." - John F. Kennedy

A few hours and a lot of sleeping, long conversations and a lot of pointless banter later, the train came to a halt. The sun was setting, the students were buzzing and the whole station was alive with excitement. For once, it seemed, everything was perfect leading up to the new school year.

_Seemed_.

* * *

"Any ideas as to where Mary's got herself?" Alice asked as the lot of them hopped off the train.

"How much do you want to bet she's gone and got herself a good snog?" Hestia asked conspiratorially.

"Hestia!" Lily cried, breaking the syllables up so it sounded twice as disapproving.

"You're on for seven Sickles," Beth replied. "Well she _did_ leave for the bathroom a while ago… _and_ didn't come back… and you _know_ how she is," she said in her defense at Lily's intimidating glare. She knew she was one to talk; she had gotten back to their compartment all of five minutes before Mary had left.

"We are honestly the best sorts of friends, aren't we? You can't get better than us," Marlene mused sarcastically.

"Who knew you was the self depreciating comedian, Marley darling?" Sirius asked, coming up from behind her and causing her to jump slightly.

"Who knew you were the creepy stalker that follows a bunch of girls around listening in on their conversations – oh wait, everyone," she finished lamely.

"Awful one-liner, my dear. Take my advice and don't use that in your next stand up."

"Black, is there any reason you're here?"

"I can't spend time with beautiful girls such as yourselves with_out_ ulterior motives?" he asked incredulously, throwing his arms about Lily and Marlene's shoulders.

"Shove off, Sirius, what do you want?" Lily asked, amusement in her tone as she ducked out of his embrace.

He held a hand to his heart in mock sorrow. "Evans, do you honestly doubt me?"

Apparently her expression told him she did, and he let out a fake sob. "You were my only true friend!"

James came up from behind him and smacked him round the back of his head. "Wow, thanks mate. I feel appreciated."

Lily stiffened slightly, but no one noticed. Jesse's thoughts on the matter came rushing back to her in an instant.

_He's using you, Flower!_

Even in her subconscious she couldn't rid herself of his ridiculous nickname for her.

She knew he was probably just saying it out or anger, and that it didn't mean anything but it still plagued her. She had been used before, by many people, back when she was influenced by the worst kinds of people. The thoughts had been at the back of her mind during the ride, but now it just seemed no matter how hard she tried to ignore it, she could not.

What could he be using me _for_ exactly? she wondered. It wasn't like she had anything he didn't. He was the one with everything; the money, the friends, the family, the perfect life. She didn't have a patch on what she thought James Potter presumably had.

She was oblivious to the conversation going on around her, which had moved onto the impending Sorting. According to Sirius, all of the new first years looked like snot-nosed, whiney bastards; and he hoped their boats on the path to the castle sunk.

When the carriages came into view, seemingly to be pulled by nothing, Marlene stood up straighter, and tight-lipped frown pulling at her usually smirking mouth.

"You guys go ahead," she began, wearily eyeing the rickety-wheeled things, a strange look passing over her.

"Okay, Marls?" Hestia asked concernedly, glancing over at her friend with a worried expression.

"I'm fine," she sighed, though she certainly didn't look it. "Going to wait for Mare, just to prove to the lot of you she isn't some dirty, cheating whore."

Hestia didn't push the situation any further, seeming to deem the excuse legitimate, which she was grateful for. She didn't like riding in those carriages much anymore, not since she had found out that they were pulled by rather ugly, and extremely scary (in her opinion) horses, which looked a lot like they were zombies of sorts, or living leathered skeletons.

When she had first encountered these animals (could they be called animals?) in her fourth year, she had thought she had gone round the bend. It wouldn't have surprised her much, seeing as she had just been practically disowned by her mother, lost her little brother, and hadn't seen her Dad in Merlin knows how long.

She had expected them to vanish once she blinked. When they hadn't, she had pinched herself, leaving her with nothing but a purplish bruise in days to come. She had come to accept that they must be real, but didn't speak up. No one else had commented on the new arrivals. Had they always been there, and had she never noticed them? It seemed highly unlikely. They didn't seem like the type of things you'd miss, being so large and terrifying.

You wouldn't think the great Gryffindor Chaser, the artistic and witty Marlene Brown would be scared of much. But in all truth, she really did scare quite easily.

In first year she'd been afraid of flying. When a child, she'd harbored an irrational fear of heights, based on nothing but not liking the sight of tall buildings that looked like they were about to topple over when the clouds passed by them.

Her phobia had soon disappeared and been deemed ludicrous as she had gritted her teeth and mounted the old broom. She found she loved the rush of adrenaline the height made her feel, worshipped the feeling of the biting wind snapping at her red face, rushing through her blonde locks.

Second year was the year of her hair. She wasn't afraid of her _hair_ as such, but using magic on it. Second year was the year Marlene had decided that boys were not smelly and gross, like she had thought for the most part of her life. She found herself wanting to look nice around them, which she hadn't worried about in her previous year.

She was particularly fond of her soft and pale blonde locks, straight and even, that had just the right amount of _oomph_ at the roots, which made her chubby kid face seem less childish and more mature - slightly. She felt the way in hung in feathered ends by her non-existent cheekbones 'brought them out', making her look older than she was (needless to say this was in vain. Her cheekbones still stayed hidden under the layer of chub that accented her rosy cheeks, but no one pointed this out to her).

So when the time came that her hair would become unruly and purposefully challenging, there was a constant fear in her that something would go wrong and her lovely hair would loose its shiny quality, or its natural softness would diminish, leaving her with coarse grains atop her head - or worse, that it would vanish altogether, leaving her bald (which was decidedly worse than having hair in a slightly less than appealing condition). Hestia had told her to get over it, that she did it all the time (Hestia had sprouted early, and had always tried to look her best for the boys she deemed attractive, and hoped they thought of her likewise), and that nothing bad had ever happened to her.

So, mustering up all her Gryffindor courage (with her silly phobias, it was always a wonder how she ended up in the House of the brave), she started charming her hair to keep it in check. Soon she found herself comfortable with it, and started getting even more daring with it, adding charms to get it to grow slightly (how she wished her hair could be long and perfect like Emma Vanity's) which never seemed to work, or coloring Potions to turn her blonde to more of a honey tone than a milky yellow. She found experimenting with her hair never hurt it, so she had once again claimed her fears stupid.

In her third, she had hated bugs. Squishy, slimy, putrid smelling bugs were on the height of things she mainly avoided, and tended to scream when they got too close for comfort. This fear had inexplicably vanished in their first few beginning Care of Magical Creatures lessons. She had found herself taken by the adorable little Billywigs, who looked so frail and shiny and graceful. She then decided her loathing was without reason, and even found herself slightly attached to the Flobberworm she had been assigned to look after for her end-of-year exam.

Fourth had brought the only unresolved phobia. These skeletal horses, which she still wasn't sure were not just her imagination running wild, still held a daunting prospect to her. That was the reason she hadn't asked anyone about them. What if only she could see them? What if she was insane? That had been her main source of anxiety towards the creatures.

It was her first fear that hadn't been resolved within the first or second term, and she was quite disappointed in herself. Yet, she still couldn't will herself to bring up the fact she could see them to anyone.

The others had clambered into the carriages pulled by the horses, and moved her gaze promptly when she felt herself staring. It would be weird if people thought she was gazing intently at nothing with such a terrified look on her face.

Nearly all the carriages had gone, and there was still no sign of Mary. She was sure she would have seen her friend get into a carriage, for she had been one of the first people here. Naturally, she started to worry.

She wasn't too bothered about missing the Sorting, or the start-of-term feast, so she began to walk quickly and purposefully back to the station a few yards on, a few lone stragglers still moping about the place.

It occurred to her that maybe Mary had begun to walk to the castle, but it didn't seem likely. Mary was slightly on the superficial-side. She wasn't one for sweaty and gross exercise, no matter how menial. She had her hair to worry about, what the air would do to her flawless complexion, if she would trip and get dirt under her nails…

While this was usually a trait Marlene hated in most girls, she found it almost endearing in Mary. It was probably due to the fact she had spent so much time with the younger girl, and that she had simply gotten used to it, for she knew she wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. She did remember a time when she couldn't stand her before, though; back when they had all joined as a unit in their beginning years. A few years on and she loved them all like they were her family.

It was very growing dark, and the shadows cast by the lanterns around Hogsmeade were rather eerie. The last of the Hogwarts students had left.

She thought about just leaving, that maybe Mary had just walked to the castle, like she first thought.

As she began to trudge her way to the empty, cobbled footpath that would lead her to the edge of the Forbidden Forest and Hagrid's hut, she heard a scream pierce the silent air.

* * *

Mary had had an uneasy feeling all throughout the journey back to school.

All her friends had taken it in stride, her revert back to MacDonald (except Sirius, who had complained he had finally gotten used to Wright), and had asked with little to no concern on how her mother was taking the ending of her short-lived marriage. They were used to her Mum doing things on a whim, due to being her friend for most of their time at Hogwarts, and while she was happy they didn't press her for information, she was also slightly hurt they didn't notice the sadness she felt she was so obviously emanating.

As they neared the end of the ride, she had made the excuse of going the loo. She needed to cry.

The tears had already welled up and were near spilling when she reached her destination, and she hastily locked herself in the tiny cubicle, finally releasing the choked sob she had been holding in.

After much begging, pleading and sobbing, she had convinced her Mum to relocate herself to St. Mungo's, where she could get regular updates on her condition, and could visit whenever she felt like (she had written to the Headmaster about this, asking if it was okay if she used her weekends to visit. He had replied quickly, saying it is not up to him how she chooses to spend her time, and giving heartfelt condolences and well-wishes to her mother for a speedy recovery). The Healer who had been left to look after her was a nice enough lady, a Half-Blood witch who spoke to her Muggle mother kindly and patiently. Mary was grateful for that. If it had been some Pureblood who hated Muggles and Muggleborns alike, she was sure to have some problems.

She had been fending for herself these past couple of months, not being allowed to stay over night in the ward - Wizard and Muggle alike - (she had asked countless times, the same response always being "We are a _hospital_, not a hotel,"), and spending nights alone in her empty house. Since she was still underage, magic was out of the question, so she found herself cooking manually. She had never been good at it. Due to this, she was now down nearly a stone in weight, the stress and lack of nourishment taking its toll her on her body, making her more tired than normal, giving her skin a sickly pale look and ruining her soft curves she loved so. She didn't think she had ever felt worse in her life.

The good news was that Linda MacDonald was getting better, slowly, but still returning to her usual self. The physical damage Marcus had inflicted upon her was nearly completely healed, after one look at it from the Healers (they had frowned at Mary, and asked her why she hadn't just brought her here in the first place), but the mental damage was something that needed to be worked upon. She now had an intense fear of knives, understandably, but still strange. It was so bad she now had to eat using only a spoon and fork, for she had had a panic attack when they had handed her the dining knife the first night there.

It was nothing like Marlene's supposed 'phobias', she thought. Once upon a time, she had wondered if her friend had done it for attention. She never did understand the elder blonde, but had soon ruled it out. She didn't seem like the attention-seeking sort.

Time had passed more quickly than she thought while she mulled over everything in the cramped space, and she had fair reason to believe that the train had stopped. She couldn't hear any students, for she had cast a silencing charm on the room, as to prevent people from hearing her, but she could no longer feel the gentle wobble the train always had when in motion.

She stayed in there for a while longer, going over her face with a damp tissue, removing her streaked makeup and then waiting for her face to resume its natural pale state before relining her eyes with mascara and eyeliner. When she was content with her appearance, making sure it was near impossible to guess she had just been crying in the toilet, she left, straightening her uniform as she did.

The train was nearly empty, which she was grateful for. As she made her way down the lone aisle, she heard voices.

"- it's for us specifically!" a first voice insisted.

"Don't be ridiculous, what can we do that he can't?" the second voice snapped.

"Shut it! Can't you see? We'll recruit –" started the first voice again.

"Keep your voices down! We'll discuss with him later –" a third voice entered.

"Why? We know what we need to do! If we can just get half the house to join, alone that will be an achievement –" the first voice said, almost like it was his wildest dream coming true.

"Half the year will not join the cause!" the third voice whispered harshly.

"What do you know?" growled the first in reply.

The three voices speaking were deep and masculine, only varying by the depth of their tone. As she came closer to the compartment with the voices, she saw three tall, large, figures, shadowed by the glow from the outside light, and blurred through the drawn curtains.

Mary was holding her breath, and tried to leave as quietly and as quickly as she could. It was an understatement to say she was completely terrified. She didn't know what they were conversing about, but she had a pretty good idea, and it wasn't a nice one, _especially_ not for someone like her.

Holding her breath she began to tiptoe past the compartment, longing to get to the open door just mere footsteps away from her, promising of fresh air and a warm, enchanted carriage ride to a castle filled with magic.

"Did you just see that?" voice two asked, panicked. Mary withheld her scream.

"What?" voice three asked hurriedly. Mary continued her walk, slightly quicker than the one she had first begun.

The compartment door slid open, and she tore for the door. A hand grabbed her arm before she could make it two steps, and swung her around, so she was facing her captor.

"What did you hear?" he spat at her without preamble. It seemed voice one belonged to Tyros Mulciber, a seventh-year Slytherin, known Death Eater trainee.

"Nothing!" she whimpered, cowering under him.

"Liar!" he sneered, smirking cruelly, reveling in her blatant fear. It made him feel powerful, invincible even.

"Get her in the compartment," voice three said, and she could too place a name to it. Rodolphus Lestrange. He had a brother in her year.

"Gladly," Mulciber replied, eyeing her like a piece of meat. "Pretty one, isn't she?" he remarked after he was done visually undressing her.

"Mudblood, too," Graham Avery – the second voice – said, sounding thoroughly disgusted.

Mulciber, who still had yet to let go of her, only narrowed his eyes dangerously at her, his smirk widening. "Then I feel even less remorse for what I'm about to do."

She felt sick to her stomach. He yanked on her hard, pulling her into the compartment they had just left. She tried to resist best she could, but it was in vain. He was far stronger than she.

She was thrown into the space, the three boys following her in and standing over her, looking down and watching her with a malicious glint in each of their eyes.

"I'm not afraid of you," she snarled, which was about as far from the truth as was possible.

Mulciber, who was standing directly in front of her, leaned in and whispered, "You should be."

He pointed his wand at her, and she tensed, ready for whatever hex she was about to endure. Her wand was happily stuffed in her schoolbag, somewhere with her trunk. She internally cursed herself for being so stupid.

"_Imperio_!"

All of a sudden, Mary felt as light as air. She could smell wonderful scents, making her head slightly dizzy. It felt as though she was being bathed in silk, for she could feel softness against the bare skin on her arms. It reminded her of the effects of marijuana, feeling so at ease. A voice cut into her little haven, interrupting her contentment. It was a smooth, slick sounding voice, and entirely convincing.

_Get down on your knees._

She didn't see why, but went along with it. She was too far gone to really care what the voice wanted her to do, and had a feeling if she resisted it would end her bliss, so she did as told without question.

_Get to work._

She shuddered. Visions of what the voice meant rolled through her head, and she felt sick. A new feeling entered her paradise, and it was horrible. She was being controlled, she knew it, and what was worse was the fact she didn't know how to stop it. Her hands began moving of their own accord, and the harder she fought against it, the more insistent her actions became. She couldn't break free.

Agonizing minutes later, the smooth voice spoke again. This time, instead of feeling lulled by his tone, all she could feel was fear.

_Keep quiet and don't move._

Even though it was entirely against her will, she had done it. She was sick with herself, and disgusted by the boy who had placed this curse upon her. She felt like a whore, like a vile little slut who did this often. She had Reg, for god's sake! How could she have been so willing to obey the voice? She wanted to scream, to cry, to tear her hair out, and then kill the Slytherin in front of her.

She could still feel the serenity of the silk and air around her, but instead of floating, it was like she was falling.

The curse lifted, and it was as if she had just hit the ground, headfirst into a pool of ice-cold water.

"Enjoy that, did you?" her attacker asked, in such a voice that made her flinch.

"You're _sick_!" she screeched, trying to stand up, panting.

"Be quiet!" Avery snapped from his side, his head flipping from left to right at a pace that would have been comical in any other situation. "Filthy little Mudblood!" he yelled after making making sure no one had heard. "_Crucio!_"

Where the Imperius Curse had made her feel bliss, the Cruciatus Curse made her feel like every single part of her body was on fire. Not one tip of her body was saved from the intense flames. She was screaming, she knew it. Her throat burned along with the pain due to its use.

It was unbearable. She wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. She wanted it to be over already, to die, just to end all the pain. Why wasn't she dead yet?

All of a sudden, she was released from the burning clutches of the curse. It was so sudden; it was as if it had never even been there. Where she felt her body should have been covered in burns and even blackened in some places, hints of bone in others, it was without a so much as a mark.

"Mary!" a voice screamed, filled with horror.

"Get her!"

"What the fuck have you done? MARY!" the voice was choked, hysteria beneath her words. It sounded so familiar.

"_Petrificus Totalus!_"

"_Protego!_ GET AWAY FROM HER!" she knew why the voice was so familiar. She registered the hints of blonde behind Mulciber's towering form. Marlene had come and saved her.

Jets of color shot from both end's wands, which would have been almost beautiful had it not been a fight and the fact that, at the hands of the Slytherins, would not be one to end well.

"_Expelliarmus_!" A wand went flying, landing within Mary's grasp. Without hesitation she lunged for it, and pointed it directly at her attackers.

"_CONFRINGO!"_ she screamed. She wanted them to feel like she did, to feel how it felt to be burned alive. Mary was usually quite the placid, avoid-confrontation-at-all-costs kind of girl, but when someone wronged her, she had no problems with revenge.

Mulciber protected himself from the sudden hex just in time, but Avery, who was now without a wand, wasn't as lucky. His black robes caught alight, orange and red flames licking up his side, becoming the prey to her revenge.

"_Aguamenti!_" Lestrange countered, aiming at the magical fire on his friend.

Marlene then yelled out another hex that Mary didn't quite catch, and watched as Mulciber's teeth rapidly grew, shooting out behind his large lips while he yelled in pain. Lestrange had been successful in his endeavor to put out his friend, as Avery was no longer flaming, just smoking slightly, with large burn holes in his robes that were still glowing slightly.

Mary sent a Bat-Bogey hex at Lestrange, the same time Marlene cast a Furnunculus curse. There was a bang as they collided, knocking him out. Mary flashed a smile at her friend and went about freezing Mulciber, who was still howling in pain at his growing molars.

All that was left was Avery, who was without a wand.

Marlene wielded her own like a sword, pointing it directly to his throat, Mary doing likewise, only aimed at his heart.

"What the _fuck_ did you do to Mary?" Marlene growled dangerously at him, barely hiding the hatred that ebbed her tone.

He let out a loud, twisted laugh. "You Mudbloods don't scare me," he said, turning his large, button nose up at them.

"Says the wandless, thick bastard! What did you do to her?"

"Only what she deserved!"

Marlene clenched her teeth, and gripped her wand tighter. Mary bit down on her lip hard, breaking the delicate skin and soon tasted the metallic tinge of blood in her mouth.

"This is why I'm not afraid of you," he began again, the sneer seemingly permanent on his unpleasant features. "You don't have the guts. You know the spell, but you won't do anything about it. You're all talk, Mudblood."

With a shriek of fury, Marlene lowered her wand. He was right, as much as she wanted to do to him what she'd just seen him to do Mary, she couldn't.

Mary too dropped her arm, trying to reign in her anger. But the vile smirk on his face as he saw the two give up was just enough for her to reach breaking point. With a quick pull back, and an even quicker snap forward, Mary's tightly clenched fist collided with Avery's jaw, hopefully breaking it. The horrible crunch that came after and the cry of pain issued from the Slytherin was more than satisfactory for the little Gryffindor.

Marlene looked upon her dainty friend in amazement.

"Nice," she commented appreciatively, nodding her blonde head along with the words.

* * *

The Sorting ceremony had just finished, the Hat giving a very unsettling song about making the right decisions and thinking of each other as equals, because the war was getting worse by the day (that's what Lily had interpreted from it, in any case. It seemed Sirius had thought the Hat had wanted all of Hufflepuff, Gryffindor and Ravenclaw to join forces and kill the Slytherins, which was always nice to hear).

Mary and Marlene hadn't turned up. Hestia had already been though the phase of "I've always thought our Mars was a lesbian… She tried to peep at me in fifth – she was so jealous I was a DD while she was a B, the poor, flat child… Never would have guessed Mary though, would you?", and was now starting to worry along with the rest of them.

Ever logical Cory had interrupted Hestia's rant (which was much longer than the one stated previous), much to everyone's relief, and had consoled them with the thought that maybe they had gotten back later and thought they had missed the feast, so had just gone to the kitchens. It would have been far more effective if his voice didn't shake as much as it did, undeniably laced with worry (Hestia had been quick to point out to her twin that it did not matter how much he worried, for Marlene batted for the other team. He had then shoved a handful of mashed potato in her face, effectively shutting her up).

Finishing the meal without really tasting it – much to Beth's annoyance, the food was always drool-worthy the first day back – the group left the Gryffindor table in silence. It went without saying that they would go and try to find their missing comrades.

They had made it all of two corridors before Hestia, who had a habit – not unlike Lily's – to turn most feelings into blind anger, had left their ranks. She had seen Bertha Jorkins, the ridiculously annoying Hufflepuff - and her arch nemesis - whispering with her friends, then continuing on to making a remark on her friends' absence, her intense worry for her best friend and Mary had flipped to relentless fury.

Alice had dragged the three others away, muttering about how irresponsible Hestia could be, and how there was no point in even trying with her. It seemed Alice had given up all hope on righting her fellow seventh year a long time ago.

The four trooped up the moving staircases, on to the first floor. No one said anything again, but had their second unspoken conversation. The Hospital Wing was on this floor.

They all made a right.

Though none of them wanted to believe something had happened to their fellow Gryffindor girls, it would be considered foolish on their parts to not at least check.

The wide corridors were empty, everyone still enjoying the delicious spread the House Elves had cooked up. It was strange, to see the expanse of them in full. It was a rare thing, to walk down a frequently used path, laden with in use classrooms, without seeing another student. They seemed colder, a horror movie in the making.

When they had made a left to the Hospital Wing's corridor, their speed notably increased. They reached the wooden double doors in half the time they would have done if they had kept to their regular speed.

Serena was the first to reach, and shoved the doors open wide, rushing inside. Lily, Alice and Bethany followed the suit.

"What are you girls doing in here?" snapped Madame Pomfrey, a fairly young Healer who acted far to old for her days. At most she could have been in her late thirties, but with her attitude you would think she would be an old, army-raised blighter at the local pub, minus the slurred and foul language.

"Are Marlene Brown or Mary MacDonald here?" Lily had asked. She was used to being the one to address the teachers, being a Prefect and general favourite in most lessons. She didn't mind her label as a teacher's pet, it got her out of _a lot_ of detentions and failed assignments. She couldn't see the downside, to be perfectly honest.

Pomfrey's upper lip stiffened. "Miss MacDonald is in a bed, Miss Brown is currently with her."

Looks of panic and concern were evident on all of the girls' faces. "C-can we see them?" Lily asked, unable to keep her voice from shaking. Something about Madame Pomfrey's expression gave her a feeling this wasn't just a runny nose.

The Healer seemed to have an internal struggle as to whether or not she should. "Fine. Ten minutes _only_, though. And _no_ stress for Miss MacDonald!" she ordered. The four nodded fervently, rushing to the closed-off sickbed Pomfrey had nodded them to.

"Mary!" Alice cried as she pushed through the ugly blue curtain. Mary was lying on a pristine white bed, frowning and looking a bit put out, Marlene in a similarly white chair next to her.

"Mare, what happened?"

"You okay?"

"I'm fine!" she snapped, glaring, but at no one in particular.

"…Mary?"

"Sorry, I just… Ugh! I don't want to be here! I'm fine, and I want to rip his throat out!"

Four horrified faces looked upon her, one with admiration.

"Is anyone going to let us know what's happened?" Beth asked after a moment's silence.

"Mulciber and Avery," she spat, like the words were physically repulsive. The shock had worn off, and now she was left stewing in a pot of rage. She only hoped her punch had hurt as much as she as wanted it to.

Lily and Serena's faces blanched. They too were Muggleborn, so they knew those specific Slytherins could be awful when they wanted to.

Alice's jaw clenched, and had the girls not known her as well and for as long as they did, she would've probably scared them all witless. "What did they do?" she asked.

Mary only growled something under her breath, clenching her fists. She felt so used, so awful, so _filthy_.

Marlene made use of the silence to ask about where Hestia was. When she was told about Bertha Jorkins, she smirked slightly, letting out a snort and left with the promise to Mary that she would be back once she had got her best friend off of Jorkins' mangled corpse.

Alice and Lily had moved to the bed, looking over Mary with concern in their eyes. Serena had conjured chairs for both herself and Beth and were situated at the end of the bed, and they were all talking about the events of the past three hours.

When she had told them about Avery's use of the Unforgivable Curse, there had been a slight silence, which was used by the girls to come to terms with what she had just told them. As bad as the Death Eater wannabes go, the use of an Unforgivable was unheard of. Hexing and frequent use of the term "Mudblood", but never something that could land them in Azkaban. Unconsciously, they all came to the same conclusion of that they now probably felt strong enough with Voldemort as their leader, that he would win out, and that they could get away with something as pathetic as a torture curse.

Mary, who was so disgusted and ashamed of herself at being so easy to controlled into doing what Mulciber wanted her to, had neglected to mention the use of the Imperius Curse and what had followed. It wasn't good to hide it, she knew, but she wasn't ready for admitting what had happened just yet. She wasn't ready to admit to _herself_ that she had, in few words, been raped. And she _knew_ her friends wouldn't take it lightly, either.

"You have to tell Dumbledore," Lily reasoned.

She knew she should, that the Headmaster could deal with this in the right way… But it seemed like the weak thing to do. Running off to a teacher when things go wrong. She could defend herself, and didn't need people to do that for her – although she did make exceptions for Reg and when he tried to play the hero, because it was just so adorable.

"I know I should, but I'm not going to," she said after a deep breathe and a few clicks of her tongue.

"Mary! It's not a choice! It's the law!" she cried. "It's illegal!"

"So is theft, but you don't mind it when I – or you, for that matter – nick Honeydukes' finest, do you?"

Back in the benning of fifth year, just as Lily had became the newly appointed Prefect, the girls had gone out to Hogsmeade for the day. Her, Lily, Marlene and Hestia had visited Honeydukes, and Lily was out of money – she had bought herself a lilac quill that she "needed to survive" – but wanted some strawberry crème fudge. Want was probably an understatement - she was practically sobbing in the shop. Mary had snuck out with a handful from the crowded shop, much to her ginger friend's delight. From then on her and Mary had had no qualms about taking the odd sugar quill or bar of chocolate. Even Remus, once or twice, had joined them in the taking of the chocolate. It seemed there was nothing that boy wouldn't do for a bar of the delicacy.

Lily's face reddened, she had been beaten, and Mary was able to hold onto her silly pride for a little while longer.

Beth let out a low whistle, breaking the tension. "Is our perfect Prefect Miss Lily Evans a _thief_?" she asked in faux disbelief, amusement clear in her voice, eyes twinkling.

"Shut up."

* * *

**A/N:** Yes, no romance-y fancy in this chapter. Just pain and war and torture (and hopefully no Mary Sues).

Happy Bonfire Night!

Going to watch a firework display now-ingly yours,

Ruby


	8. Getting Kicked Out of a Bar

**A/N:** Feel free to hate me. A week late and a ridiculously short and pointless chapter. I am so, so, _so_ sorry. Leave all the hate you want in the reviews. But I do have an excuse. (I know it doesn't make up for my terrible-ness, but I hope it lessens it.) Two words. Percy. Jackson. I can't even say anything. Its... just... so... perfect! I don't think I have properly slept in the two weeks I have spent reading them. Holy guacamole, if you haven't read them, I highly suggest you do.

**Disclaimer: **I do not, never have, never will, own Harry Potter. It is all the work of a wonderful woman named J.K Rowling, who is secretly the queen of the universe.

* * *

-Chapter Eight-

Getting Kicked Out of a Bar

"A drunken mind speaks a sober heart" - Anonymous

It was ridiculous to say things hadn't gotten worse the past few weeks. It was early October, and already the 'Mudblood' taunts had risen, the curse word being thrown around more in the past month than it had all year previous.

Mary was more on edge than ever, rarely leaving Alice's side. No one blamed her, though; the Cruciatus Curse wasn't something anyone ever wanted to experience, much less twice.

She had got round to talking about the Imperius a few days later. Mary's imagination hadn't a patch on the insane hatred and anger that had filled all of her friends. Even brutal Mulciber couldn't take six on one. She felt considerably better after.

Most Muggleborns, after hearing grossly intensified or watered down versions of Mary's attack, found themselves walking around with a friend.

Now the taunts had risen, and their victims' paranoia, it gave them the courage to openly hex them in the corridors. Now anyone of that blood status was rarely seen alone due to fear of being victim to a nasty hex, like many others had received. The Hospital Wing had been flooded with hexed versions of themselves, the same for their attacker (you can't really expect them to not stick up for themselves, can you?).

It was an all out war, Purebloodists versus Muggleborns, with no sign of letting up.

* * *

"I don't know, where do_ you_ want to go, Jamie?"

He had to repress a groan of frustration. It was October 15th, Hogsmeade weekend, and he had gone with possibly the most annoying girl ever.

Like the gentleman he was, he had asked her where she wanted to go first, but apparently that was wrong. It seemed he had to make the decision of what to do in the few hours they were there. But to be honest, he really didn't care.

Her, on the other hand, was elated to be having one of those love-sick couple fights over who should hang up first, and had adopted to giving him the nickname 'Jamie'. He thought she probably thought it original, but that, and Jay, and Jayjay, and Jamesie, and several other embarrassing versions of his name were frequent when he was on dates like this.

"Kristen, I really don't mind. Your wish is my command." He had meant it to sound sarcastic, a subtle hint this tired back and forth game was over, but she seemed to think it charming, and nearly squealed.

"My wish is that _you_ would choose a place!" she sang, giggling after.

He exhaled deeply. "Fine," he said. "Want to grab a Butterbeer?"

"Oh that's _perfect_, Jamie."

He smiled at her, baring his teeth, not at all meant to express happiness or charming-ness in any way, but she seemed to think everything he did claimed that he wanted her to be his girlfriend, or wife, or life-partner.

"Come on!" she said, grabbing his hand and pulling him along to the Three Broomsticks, her honey blonde head bobbing as she skipped forward.

She was rather pretty, James couldn't deny. It wasn't a breathtaking beauty, like some people he knew, but still pretty. Perfectly curled (which he assumed were _not_ natural) blonde and brown and caramel and honey tresses, like those California girls' from the movies. Heck, she _was_ a typical Californian. She had the tan skin, and the chocolaty brown eyes, and the blinding white smile.

It was a shame her bloody personality ruined her perfectly good face.

It wasn't that she was a horrible person, as such, just… boring, repetitive, _extremely_ excitable, a bit of a pushover, really, and just so… giggle-ish. And girly. And annoying.

Her face had been caked in makeup she didn't need, she seemed willing to do _anything_ James had suggested, she had giggled girlishly and played on the idea that he wanted a serious, life-long relationship, even though they had barely got through one date. And quite frankly, it pissed James off to no end.

He didn't like girls like that much. Ones that didn't stand up for themselves, almost. He didn't really know her at all, but if the last half an hour was anything to show, it was that she didn't have a backbone – figuratively speaking, of course.

His thoughts trailed to the Marauders as Kristen continued to lead him to the pub, as if he didn't know were it was. Everyone seemed to think Peter had no backbone and just followed him, Sirius and Remus around like a lost puppy, but it wasn't the case. Wormtail was as much a Marauder as the three of them. Without him, their dynamic would be thrown off, he thought. The four each had a part to play in their group.

Remus was the chief of all homework, which meant letting the rest copy. He was also the one you could talk to about pretty much anything, and he would try to help you in any way he could. But, he could also get very angry, so that was something to be cautious of. Also, on a bad day, his aura could nearly drag you into his pits of self-loathing. These days usually occurred when nearing a full moon, one of his most desperate times. It was something they had gotten used to.

Sirius was the joker, who could make you laugh, even if you were having the shittest day in the world. He also was ace at getting his ass out of detentions, and into broom closets, so he had shagging advice to spare. But, he was also very touchy on the subject of his home life, and could also sometimes come across as an asshole with his crude remarks. He wasn't one you could talk to about serious things, for he usually made jokes about it, and then relentlessly teased for.

Peter was the 'normal' one. He could think up logical explanations for things, and saw things in ways people didn't see. Sometimes, it was unnerving, if truth be told, but it helped his ego when he commented on how Lily's attitude had changed towards him. The thing about Peter was that he seemed to not have one mean bone in his body – even with his slight sarcasm. He seemed to be a genuinely _good_ person. But it wasn't a good thing. In truth, it scared James shitless, because he always had the nagging thought that one day his friend would just snap, and all that anger, hurt, whatever he was bottling up, would come rushing out, and he'd do something rash. He knew Pete always batted for the winning team, and he couldn't help but be slightly on edge about his little friend. He knew it was ridiculous, but it didn't stop him from thinking it.

He didn't know what he brought to the Marauders. A thing for them all to tease, probably. Padfoot did love bashing him about Lily. He didn't mind though – she was his friend now, and that was enough for him. Well… it was better than her hating him.

Kristen had finally got him to the pub, and he had a sneaking suspicion she had taken the longer way around Honeydukes just to show off that she was with him. It never usually took that long to get to the Three Broomsticks. It was a relief to get in. The cold air outside wasn't that bad, but he didn't realize _just_ how cold it was until he entered the warmth of the place. A blazing fire crackled in the hearth, and the expanse of the bar was flooded with students and regulars alike.

He scanned the room for a table, but, like most days, there wasn't a seat to spare. He _did_, however, spot Lily sitting in a booth, with her boyfriends arm around her. He tried to control the urge to go over and punch the bastard's lights out.

Just as he was trying to talk himself out of having an all out Muggle brawl with the guy who had done literally nothing other than have a drink with his girl (who should have been his, but still), Kristen seemed to have found a table – one he had probably missed, due to the fact it was next to the happy couples' – and had grabbed his clenched hand to pull him along.

Now, while it probably wasn't a good idea to walk over there, were said bastard was, but he could hardly tell her no, and have the excuse be Lily Evans and her boyfriend. While it was common knowledge to the whole school that he was enamored with the redheaded Gryffindor, he knew he didn't have it in him to tell one of his dates that he wishes she were really her. He wasn't a _complete_ asshole.

Like a gentleman, he had gone up to the bar to buy her a drink, to which she nearly fainted at. Either she had been on some pretty shitty dates with a bunch of tossers, or she was prone to just falling about at the slightest gesture. He reckoned the latter. Most guys at Hogwarts were just in the dating game for the chance of a quick shag after, but they weren't all prats – he hoped.

The conversation was painstakingly dull. The majority of the time he wondered if it were possible to drown himself in his bottle of Butterbeer.

Kristen wasn't interesting. She talked about herself a lot, and shared anecdotes that really weren't funny, but he felt inclined to laugh along, for she had herself in tears of mirth by the ends of them. He made little remarks here and there that flew over her head, so he gave up after a while. She obviously wasn't very skilled in body language reading, or anything of the sort, because he was sure she hadn't yet realized he was visualizing a tiny him screaming for help in his bottle of copper liquid.

"…And so Charlotte was like 'they're in the kitchens!'" she finished, finished, laughing to herself. She had a weird laugh, he thought. A cackling sort of sound, and _very_ high pitched. If it weren't for her tear filled eyes, he would have believed the sound to be completely false.

"…So, what do you want to talk about, Jayjay?" she asked after she had controlled herself. He wanted to bang his head on the table repeatedly.

"Oh, I don't mind, why don't we talk about you some more?" he asked her sarcastically. He heard a snicker from behind him, and turned to see Lily laughing behind her hand, Jesse glaring at him openly. Completely ignoring the latter, he smirked at Lily and watched her cheeks grow slightly pink. In reply to his expression, she raised an eyebrow and narrowed her eyes. A simple, non-verbal scolding. _Play nice_. He gave her a quick wink and turned back to Kristen, the smirk still on his lips.

* * *

It was off. She didn't have the butterflies in her stomach like she did whenever she went out with Jesse usually. She didn't find herself blushing when he called her Flower (as much as she hated the bloody name, it was still sweet), only get more irritated. It was awkward, and she just wasn't having as much fun as she thought a date should entail.

She wondered if that's what you must expect from a long-lasting relationship. They loose their spark after a while. Yes, that must be it. Nothing to worry about. It happens to all couples.

Even with her unproved theory, Lily didn't feel any better.

She sat at a booth in the Three Broomsticks with her boyfriend, sipping on a hot glass of Butterbeer. As much as she loved the cold weather, and wanted to be running through the biting wind and ever-present Hogsmeade snow, Jesse didn't like it. And due to the fact he was sort of annoyed at her about the whole Mary thing (she hadn't told him at first, because it wasn't her place to tell, and she was a good friend. She also didn't see the need to. He had never shown an interest in her friends' lives before. The ordeal stayed a secret for all of three hours, thanks to a one Hestia McKinnon.), she had decided it would be best to just go along with whatever he said. Anyways, he said he had to leave an hour or two later for Quidditch practice – so she would have plenty of time to enjoy the weather, even if it was alone.

They had been sitting there for an hour or so, casually talking, sipping Butterbeer and such. Nothing interesting had happened, and Lily was getting bored. Her eyes had retraced the lengths of the pub several times – and she knew Sirius was sitting at a lone table in the back corner on the other side of the room, with his head in his hands, looking pretty crap. She wanted to go and comfort him, because she had a pretty good guess as to what had happened (which was only reinforced when she saw a laughing Dorcas walk into the pub arm in arm with Remus), but she couldn't, at least, not until Jesse left.

About half an hour before Jesse had to leave, James walked in, hand in hand with a girl. Lily had seen her around school before – it wasn't that big a feat, when you went to a school as under populated as Hogwarts was; but had never really spoken to her. She was sure she was a Hufflepuff, and not in their year, because she couldn't recall seeing her in any classes.

Unconsciously, she found herself watching them. It was like one of those annoying sitcoms Petunia watched. The girl overreacting to every little thing the guy did, and not realizing he just wasn't that into her. While she wasn't fond of the shows her sister liked, she found the little show in the booth next to her highly entertaining.

She didn't see Jesse glaring at her as she stifled snickers at the girl's – whose name she found out to be Kristen – ridiculous laugh, and James' more than obvious sarcastic answers.

He heard her one time, and turned around to see her quietly laughing into her hand.

Kristen had called him Jayjay. Lily was _never_ going to let him forget that.

He had replied snarkily, to which Kristen was oblivious to, but considering the last quarter of an hour, it wasn't really that surprising. The stupid, smug smirk on his face, and twinkle in his hazel eyes as he turned to face her made Lily blush slightly, she could feel the heat grow on her pale cheeks. She didn't know why on earth she was blushing. Lily Evans did not blush for James Potter. But all those kinds of thoughts were brushed away when she heard Kristen's voice in her head repeatedly singing 'Jayjay!' all girlishly.

The only thing she could think of to do was cock and eyebrow and narrow her eyes. She was good at telling him off. Especially telling him off for no real reason. So she did just that.

She wasn't sure what he had gained from their silent exchange, but he winked quickly and turned back, his back just a tad straighter, his shoulders square, head up.

That left Lily with the funny thought that to him she may be more terrifying than an army general. If he knew what one was, that is.

* * *

For Sirius, it was a shitty day, full of shitty things, filled with shittyness, and just the general aura of shit.

And for the life of him, he couldn't figure it out. Why the hell didn't he want Remus to go and get laid? Merlin knows the poor boy deserved a good shag.

So on top of the unresolved dislike of Dorcas and annoyance of Remus dating her, he felt like a bad friend. He had no reason for not wanting Moony to have a girlfriend. He was a bad person for wanting him to stay single. If he wanted to do things with Dorcas, he could.

He downed another shot of Firewhiskey. Now he was of drinking age, Rosmerta couldn't protest to his drinking any longer. She did give him reprimanding looks every time he asked for a refill, but a quick wink and lick of his lips left her quiet and blushing.

"'Nother one, my love?" he asked the pretty blonde as she came over to his table to collect his glass.

She frowned slightly at him as she picked up the glass. "I'll get you a Butterbeer. Mama'll go mad if she finds a drunken student in the pub. She don't want no bad reputation for the place."

"Aw, Rosie darling, I won't get drunk."

"Fully grown 'uns get woozy on the Odgen's, sweets." She tried to avoid his eyes, which were big and pleading. She barely got a glance, but it was enough to weaken her resolve. "Lay off for a bit, sober up, then have some later, okay?"

"Ro-_sie,_" he whined. "Pretty please?"

"D'ya want me to get in trouble with Mama?"

He sighed dramatically. "Only because it's you."

She smirked at his over theatricality. "Won't be a mo."

"I'll be waiting."

He watched her walk away, and then let his eyes scan the room for the thousandth time. A new addition had added to the pub. James and a girl who he couldn't for the life of him put a name to sat in the booth next to Lily and the Ravenclaw guy he knew the name of but didn't like much, so referred to as 'the Ravenclaw guy'. It was so cute. He bet with himself his best friend was aiming to make Lily jealous. Judging by the way she was laughing at him, he guessed he wasn't succeeding. The Ravenclaw guy was glaring, though. Maybe he had a secret crush on Prongs.

He was still mulling over various scenarios involving Ravenclaw guy mooning after James like he did Lily, and him dating her was just a ploy to get his secret desire's attention when Rosmerta returned with his beverage.

"Steamin' hot Butterbeer, ma sweet."

"Perfect," he said. He took a long sip, and then flashed a grin at her. "Just like you."

"Y'think flirting with me's gonna get you free drinks?" she asked after raising an eyebrow.

"Might do." He admitted. "S'only one reason, though. Either way you're bloody gorgeous."

She shrugged. "Can't help what the lord blessed me with." She tuned and once again left Sirius alone on his table.

After another few sips, Lily joined him, carrying a Butterbeer of her own.

"Evans," he greeted.

"Black."

"What brings you to the lair of dark corners in the Broomsticks?"

"It has a name?" she asked skeptically, repressing a smile.

"Oh, most definitely. It's our club hideout. You need to know the secret password to sit down."

"Or what?"

"You can't sit here."

"And whats stopping me?"

"The _rules_, Evans. Merlin, you're meant to be the smart one."

"And would this password happen to be 'Sirius is awesome'?"

"Warm…" he said, nodding his head appreciatively.

"'Sirius is sexy'?"

"Warmer…"

"'Sirius is _super_ sexy'?"

"Bingo!"

"Woo!" she cheered, raising her glass. "Can I sit down now?"

"You may."

"Thank you ever so much, Mister Black." She said, sliding onto the bench opposite him.

"Again, what brings you here?"

"Ditched for Quidditch by the boyfriend. I thought since our other halves have left us both I thought we could drink ourselves into unconsciousness to numb the pain."

"I don't know my other half yet, and I am one hundred per cent certain that Prongs would be more than happy to ditch his date for you."

"Why would he ditch his date for me?"

"You said your other half…"

"Go away, Sirius."

"You came to the club table, you go!"

"You're only here because Remus is with Dorcas," she pointed out.

"You're only here because Ravenclaw guy left you for Quidditch."

"Yes, but I'm dating him. You have no excuse."

"I could get with any of these single birds here, hands down." He gloated, spreading his arm out to the masses of students and punters.

"Go on then," she invited, smirking at him.

"But I am a gentleman. And, as a gentleman, I do not leave a girl such as yourself alone."

She shrugged. "I'm cool. I can go meet Beth and Marlene."

He looked around awkwardly.

"How's about I buy you a Firewhiskey and we drink away our pain?"

"Sounds perfect, my good man."

* * *

Both Lily and Sirius didn't know how, but the lone table had soon become a hotspot for most students. (The password was still enforced, only it had been changed to 'Sirius and Lily are super sexy'.) Shot glasses littered the polished wood, and extra chairs had been pulled up to get a seat at the table. The club had a strict 'No Third Years' policy, but exceptions were made for okay fourths and fifths. Seveneths were welcomed, because they could buy the drinks no questions asked.

The group had been through several drinking games already – the table lost a considerable amount after they played 'How Many Can You Down In 30 Seconds' – and were preparing for a round of 'Never Have I Ever'. A group of seventh year Hufflepuffs had bought the Firewhiskey this time, and soon all twenty or so students had a small glass full of amber liquid.

Sirius, the creator of the club, went first. Due to his mildly intoxicated state, no one could really make out what he had said, but when he threw his head back to down the shot, they followed.

Lily was pretty much in the same situation as him went next, but her dialect was slightly more comprehensible, even if insane giggling followed it. Most of them thought she had said 'Never have I ever given a blowjob to a fish', or 'Never have I ever given away my brown dish', so again all drinks were downed.

Because the rest had not had as much alcohol as the latter two had, the confessions were far easier to make out. Lots of laughs and jeering were followed by the people who had drunk, or had not, and everyone was doing the best they could do get as drunk as possible.

"NEVER HAVE I – Shh shh shh MY GO!" Sirius began, cutting off a small fourth year. "NEVER HAVE I… _Not_ lost my virginity!" a moment of silence followed his confession, as the slightly drunken pupils tried to make out what he meant.

When realization hit, most seventh and sixth years drank, and some fifth.

"You're all slags!" he yelled and he refilled and drank without a prompt.

"Yeah you fif- fif- ffff… Ugh, you people!" Lily cried, pointing to the wide-eyed group of fifth years who drank to the statement.

"Listen to the h-Holy Virgin Redhead!"

"I'm not a _virgin_, Sirsss."

"Yesh you ah my dear!"

"I'm not!" she protested, holding up her empty glass, as if it were proof.

Apparently it was enough for Sirius. He slapped his cheek and let his mouth hang open, like they do in cartoons. He rose from the table and yelled to the now emptying pub "HEY EVERYONE! LILY EVANS IS A WHORE!"

Lily smacked him, though she wasn't sure how hard. She too rose, and shouted in response "HEY DON'T LISTEN TO STUPID-IRIUS!" There was a break here, for she found her nickname so hilarious she all but fell about the floor in laughter, "HE IS IN LUUUUURVE! WITH MOOOOOOOOOONS! MOONY! THE MAN ON THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!" she sang, laughing and leaving her space to run around the almost-clear pub floor, leaping and twirling, still singing "MOOOONS! MOOooooooOOOOOOoooOOO! I'm a cow!" and several other variations. Sirius joined her a moment later, counteracting her song with his own "LIIIIIILLLYY! WHY ARE YOU DOING THISSSSS! YOU CAN SNOG ME IF YOU WAAAAAAAANT!" along with generally suggestive comments.

They got through around a minute of this before Madame Gwendolyn, Rosmerta's mother and landlady of the Three Broomsticks, kicked them out and told them to never come back.

* * *

**A/N: **Jily and Percabeth 5eva


	9. Problem Occurs

**A/N: **Ah, the lovely people on this site. You are all so fabulously nice, you don't even realise. I cannot even put into words how amazing you all are. Thank you so, so, _so_ much for reading. Stay perfect.

**Disclaimer: **Owned by Joanne Rowling. Ruined by me.

* * *

-Chapter Nine-

Problem Occurs

"Every family tree always produces nuts" - Anonymous

Cory McKinnon was a genuinely happy person, the kind that radiated a certain aura of love whenever he was near, and when said aura hit you, you just couldn't stay sad. Partly, it was the fact that being happy just came naturally to him. Another was the fact he saw nothing to be sad about – he was smart, very smart actually – so smart he had been playing on the idea of being an Alchemist when he left Hogwarts (although if you saw him, you wouldn't think it – not by a long shot). He was funny in the kind of embarrassing dad way, and kind in a way most people nowadays were not – nothing like his twin sister was. He was a also fairly good-looking kid, with his dark hair and intense, black eyes, but if you asked a majority of the Hogwarts population – both boys and girls included, they would agree that Hestia was the better looking. There was nothing for him to be down about.

It was this bubble of happiness that had first attracted Marlene to him back in their first year, back when she was shy and nervous and didn't know anything or anyone. He seemed nice, and she craved that.

He wasn't used to strange, shy girls coming up to him and asking if they could sit in the compartment with him – but he wasn't one to refuse. She looked so lost, and he figured the least he could do was be nice.

Hestia had acted as though she was an alien probe from outer space, asking questions about her Muggle life and being constantly fascinated by it – it was the first time Cory had ever seen her sister so interested in something.

A few years on, and Marlene had gone from being strictly best friend to girl-you-saw-as-a-friend-and-now-see-as-an-extrarodinarily-beautiful-and-amazing-person-who-you-don't-think-you-could-live-without. And it wasn't so much as a romantic feeling; it was a need, almost. Marlene made his natural happiness increase tenfold when he was with her. And, as a person who loved happiness in general, he wasn't about to let her get away.

The problem, he found, was when spending so much time with her, her absence made him feel lonely. He would get so used to the extra light his already sunny world had, and then when it was gone, he longed for it so. He had never been good with girls, so he hadn't really been able to figure out what this meant.

Another issue was Marlene's natural, flirty nature. She would come up with the most ludicrous, most suggestive things in his presence, one of the most memorable being her fawning all over him and his 'enormous, manly, muscular pectorals' when she had seen him shirtless for the first time (back when he admittedly did _not_ have 'enormous, manly, muscular pectorals'. It was more a six-pack of ribs, if anything). He had told himself to stop being so stupid, that she was just taking the piss with all the flirting, but he couldn't help the slight twinge in his gut whenever she acted up to little things he did, like holding the door open for her, or letting her copy his homework at the last minute, because she had been too busy sketching to notice the time.

He found himself loving everything about her – the way she held at her chest when she laughed, like that would control her hysterics, the way she sang along to her records when she was with him, so loud and completely off key, but continuing none the less, the way she lost herself in her art, disregarding the time, the place – how all that mattered was perfectly capturing the way the light reflected off whatever she was drawing, adding in the tiniest of details, everything.

He had never thought much of it, how Marlene made him feel, and he didn't see any reason to start now. He was fairly certain she wouldn't take these feelings well, for she had never shown any real interest in him in _that_ way, and he wasn't interested in loosing her.

Which was why, even though his heart may beat a little faster when she hugged him, or he might sometimes be a little too eager to please her, he decided to keep his unresolved feelings to himself.

* * *

It was a late start for everyone. Even an early riser like Cory had woken up late this Sunday morning.

He entered the Great Hall with Gideon and Fabian (none of them had wanted to disturb Frank and Alice, for fear of what they may see behind the curtains), and the three sat on the bench of Gryffindor table, while he slid in next to his tired-looking twin, grabbing a slice of toast on the way and taking a huge bite.

"Chew with your mouth closed!" she snapped when she turned to face him. The contents of her brother's mouth were not something she wanted to see in the morning (she, like Lily, wasn't a morning person).

To which he responded to, of course, by making a show of chewing loudly and widely, giving her a clear view of the mashed and soggy bread that filled his mouth.

"You're disgusting," she said, narrowing her eyes at him.

"Love you too, Hest."

He then got a very pleasant view of tongue, scrambled eggs and churned up bacon. He could see why his sister had complained of him eating with his mouth open.

Marlene liked watching the two of them. The way the acted like they really couldn't stand the other was funny, even more so when you knew them both as well as she did. She couldn't imagine these them separated, something unimaginable like death tearing them apart. Hestia may joke that it would be a blessing, too good to be true; and Cory may say that it would be a relief to get her to finally shut up, but she knew it would be the complete opposite. It kind of scared her to think of such thoughts.

"Ah, I love you too, Hestia," Fabian said smoothly, showing off his perfect mannerisms as he cut up his sausage.

"Sweet," she teased.

"Coming to watch the match next week?" he asked, aiming for casual.

"It's going to be freezing." She said, as though this was a liable reason for her to miss Gryffindors first game of the season.

"Maybe," Cory agreed. "But we're going to win, so it would be worth coming."

"Uh, with you on the team?" Hestia asked sarcastically, seemingly still annoyed about his appalling table manners. "I don't think so."

"Again, love you too, sis."

Hestia just rolled her eyes, and turned to Marlene. "Want to revise for Potions? I can't for the life of me figure out what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing."

"As lovely as that prospect sounds, I think I'm going to retry with the Giant Squid. The other day he just wasn't cooperating."

"Mar-ley!" Hestia moaned as she watched her rise from her seat, and grab her bag.

"We wouldn't study, anyway. We'd just distract each other, and you know it. You're better off doing it by yourself," she tried to reason.

"Stop trying to soften the blow, you wench."

"And you wonder why I don't want to spend time with you." With one last glare from Hestia, Marlene spun on her heel and left the Great Hall.

"She's going to fail her NEWTS, and she'll blame everything and everyone else, and then she'll figure it's my fault above all else and move in with me." Hestia said a moment later, still staring at the doors her friend had just left through.

"You're going to be living on the streets, though, aren't you?" Cory asked.

"Ha, ha. No. I'll be living with you," she informed him matter-of-factly, as though this had all been sorted out a long time ago.

"Me?" he protested. "What about Alice?"

"As if. I don't want to hear her and Frank going at it in the early hours of the morning. No, I'll stay with you. That way I'm safe from all that, because it's not like you'll ever get any action."

"If that's true, you'll never be an aunt."

She huffed. "Good. I bloody hate kids."

A few seats down, Bethany sat, just finished reading one of the most mortifying and awful letters she had ever had the displeasure to read.

"Beth? Y'okay?" Lily's head was still swimming from the day previous, but after some Hangover Draught Sirius had given her (along with a few snide remarks about certain things she had admitted to during their drinking game), she felt marginally better.

"Lily, I give up." She moaned, dropping her head to the table, and then repeating the motion several times.

"You'll give yourself a concussion if you keep doing that," Lily told her haughtily, then took a swig of her usual coffee.

"Good. Maybe it will erase the contents of that letter."

"What?"

"Read." She said, and handed her the letter she had been reading previous over to her.

_To my dearest daughter Bethany,_

_Hello sweetheart, how are you?  
__Your father and I don't really know how to explain our current predicament to you, so I'm going to put it bluntly.  
__You're going to be a big sister! Isn't that exciting? __And now, as you're so predictably thinking it isn't a problem – it is, hot shot. Now, back to the short, blunt version. __Several weeks ago I had the feeling your father was having an affair. Without any real logical proof or reason, I thought it my duty to get back at him. – Yes, I know, I act more like a child than you do. I've heard it all before. __So I went out, and had copious amounts of sex with a younger man. Now, while this is scarring you for life – I'm ever so sorry, darling – your father was in fact, not cheating on me. He had really been planning for our anniversary. __I came clean after the amazing evening we shared. I know, way to go me. __The conversation went down surprisingly well. Your father actually just laughed at me for a while, and then told me I hadn't changed since he first met me. __Everything's back to normal now though, so don't worry your pretty, little, ever changing head – Mummy and Daddy aren't getting divorced.  
__Problem occurs.  
__A few weeks later, I'm pregnant. __Yes, dear, half me, half twenty three year old Italian pool boy will be your new sibling. (Your father is again surprisingly all right with this – scary, yes, but it's better than us separating, isn't it?)_

_Please write back saying you don't hate me and that you don't plan to have Alison and Albert adopt you.  
__We love you so much.  
__Your father is okay with this. Just remember that.  
__Adoringly yours,_

_Mummy_

"Well…" Lily began after she had finished the letter. It was a lot to take in, especially with the slightly hazy head. "Congrats?"

"I'm getting adopted into your family." She informed her. Lily just rolled her eyes at the letter, before taking another swig of coffee.

* * *

"According to drunk Lily, you're madly in love with me," Remus said to Sirius from behind his Ancient Runes textbook, which he occasionally divulged from to scribble things down on a sheaf of parchment.

Sirius, who was lying on his bed, procrastinating, propped himself up on his elbows and said, "And according to drunk Lily, Minnie and Filch are having a torrid love affair."

He spoke in the same casual tone he had kept up all morning. Something had happened yesterday, something so big, and he was sure it made a huge difference to him; he could just feel it, stirring inside of him. The only thing was, he couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was.

"Oh, no, sober Lily thinks that too. She spent all of last rounds explaining how extremely obvious it was when you thought about it. I did tell her this isn't the kind of thing I tend to think about, but…"

"Charming." Sirius said sarcastically.

Remus glanced at him briefly, a strange look crossing his face and leaving so quickly, it was possible Sirius may have just imagined it.

* * *

Yesterday's Hogsmeade trip had been the best one yet for Serena. She couldn't get over just how happy Howie made her. It was new, it was rare, but it was perfect. She was furious with herself for taking this long to actually agree to tell everyone they were together, but she tried not to think of that and just enjoy now.

There had been a nagging issue in the back of her mind, though – that being her blood status. She was a Muggleborn, a swine in the magical world, and her boyfriend was a Pureblood. While she knew he didn't care about that at all, a lot of other people did. And while she wasn't certain, she had a feeling his parents were one of the people who would care.

* * *

"Good morning," Frank greeted a barely awake Alice. She grumbled something like 'tell the morning to bugger off', and went back to snuggling into his chest.

Frank was sure he would never get enough of Alice. She was perfect, in his eyes. The way she could look so innocent, but Circe forbid she act it.

She was full of surprises, the kinds that loved and spent every second trying to get out of her. It was a full-time occupation, being Alice Bones' boyfriend, but it was a job he loved and didn't ever, _ever_ want to give up.

* * *

James had been the first to hear Bethany's news, apart from herself and Lily.

"My dearest, darling Evans, how's the hangover coming?" he had asked as he walked over to the redhead, who was curled up on the crimson sofas with a groggy look on her face.

"Absolutely shitty, my annoyingly, idiotic Potter." She grumbled, ignoring the little twitches in her stomach that had come out of nowhere.

"Ah, but I'm still _your_ annoyingly, idiotic Potter."

"Shut up," she replied half-heartedly.

He fell down onto the seat next to her. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, Lily watching the flames in the hearth, James watching her, the way the golden light reflected off her pale skin, giving her an amber glow.

"Beth is going to be a big sister," she said a moment later.

"That's great!"

"You didn't let me finish," she chided. "She'd going to be a big sister to her half sibling, which is half her mother, half Italian pool boy."

His brow furrowed in concentration. "Aren't her parents together?"

"Yeah."

"Do I really want to know?" he asked.

"Oh, probably not." She told him in a tone that implied she didn't care whether he did or not. "But I'm going to tell you anyway."

* * *

Everyone had found the news about Bethany's mother terribly hilarious. While she didn't agree with the sentiment, she was glad that they had just laughed it off, and not changed their opinion of her Mum.

Bethany, on the other hand, was dealing with what seemed very much like what a panic attack must feel like (Beth had never experienced as such, so she wouldn't know).

Aside from the sheer embarrassment of it all, there was underlying anger and resentment. It was just like her mum to do this – act without thinking. While Bethany couldn't really plead the case without being the pot calling the kettle black, her mother was a grown woman. She should have more control of herself and what she was doing – Beth was sixteen. She was allowed to be stupid and reckless.

Her mother had always been like this. When she was younger she had found it exciting and cool – a mum who took you to work with her (generally that gesture isn't seen as fun, but when she works as a Wild Monster Researcher – or as Beth had called it when she was younger 'Monster Hunter', from a book she'd once read – the whole prospect of 'bring your kid to work' day seemed a lot more brighter) just 'because the Welsh Green Dragons got lonely and needed a special someone whose name begins with a B'? ("My name begins with B!" six-year-old Beth had shouted in triumph)That was _beyond_ cool. Even then, her daughter at the young age of six, she hadn't spared the time to think about the inevitable danger she would be put in.

Growing up, she realized this unthinking side to her wasn't as brilliant as she'd once seen it. It was this that had nearly killed her five years ago. There had been an accident with one of the monsters she was researching – she had kept the whole thing very vague at the time, the doctors had said she may have suffered amnesia from the blow the beast had inflicted upon her. But Beth and her sisters knew better. Their mother, Delilah Colebrook, was one of the proudest people alive. It was a very closeted thing, for pride wasn't very becoming of a person, but all four of her girls knew of her incurable flaw. She hadn't spoken of the incident in detail, because it physically pained her to admit she had failed.

Now, when she so clearly was in the wrong for what she had done, Beth was sure that Delilah hadn't even apologized. The thing about the letter was she hadn't seemed to show any remorse, like this was all just a joke. And while it may seem funny for about ten minutes, the rest should be extreme guilt and grovelling for forgiveness.

She thought about the baby. Between her parent's jobs, her time at Hogwarts and her sisters' living either abroad or far away, there would be no time for the new addition to their already large family.

Beth had had a nanny growing up. She had never told her parents that she had _hated_ her. She was nice enough, and gave Beth sweets when she came, but she wasn't the same as Mum or Dad.

She wondered if Nanny Malda would return to the household for the new child. She already felt sorry for the poor thing.

* * *

The problem with Jesse Holloway was that he didn't know what he was doing. He had no bloody fucking _clue_ as to what was going on a majority of the time.

He had Lily in further than he realized, and he also didn't realize how much he hurt her when he said what was on his mind. He didn't mean for it to offend – didn't even mean to say it, in truth. He just didn't think.

It was only when she ended it with him did he realize just how much he had messed up.

They were sitting in the library, studying. Well, she had been. He had been throwing parchment wads at his mates at the end of the table. He was having a good day. If he had been watching his girlfriend's face, he would have seen it was a conflicting page of emotion.

After a few minutes of him mucking around and her trying to get her head around Animagi transformations – which was impossible, even without the thoughts currently occupying her mind - she cleared her throat and spoke up.

"Jess, I need to talk to you," she had said, with an indescribable emotion playing at her face.

At first, he didn't think much of it. "Sure, one moment –"

"No, now."

The firmness in her tone took him by surprise. "Whatever you want, Flower."

Her eyes narrowed somewhat, and he was instant curious as to what she had to say.

She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and opened them again. They were glassy, brighter than usual – was she crying?

"I can't do this anymore."

"Huh?" Can't do what? Study for Transfiguration any longer?

"I can't. I'm sorry. It's just – it's tearing me apart." Her voice cracked with emotion.

"What?" his voice was piqued with panic. "Are you breaking up with me?"

She swiped at her eyes. "Yeah."

"But – what?" Not for the first time in his life, he wondered what the hell had been going on. She wasn't happy? Since when?

She laughed, short and brittle. "You never even noticed. Oh, Merlin…" she wiped at her eyes again. "I try to ignore my friends – try to tell myself you're a good person, that you – but I can't anymore. It's too hard. And this – it's not worth it. I've spent so long telling myself it is, but – it really isn't. Nothing is worth this."

"Don't do this, Flower –"

"Don't call me that!" she snapped, the tears in her eyes prominent and on the verge of spilling. "Just stop. Please. Enough is enough. I'm so sorry." Then she got up, collected her things and hurried out of the library.

He didn't know how long he sat there for, getting hit by his friends' paper ammo, thinking about what had just unfolded in front of him.

* * *

Lily knew she had made the right decision. There had been something – she wasn't sure _what_, but a _something_ that had happened on the 15th. She had spent the rest of the month trying to find out just what it was, but came up blank.

It frustrated her to no end.

She only found that as annoying the idiot was, she was drawn to James Potter. If she saw him, she would find herself willingly going over to him and striking up a conversation, trying to catch his attention to pull stupid faces at him in lesson, and just being around him in general. She figured this was normal, just a typically normal friend thing.

But the way he made her laugh, even when she was having a terrible day, how he helped her with her Transfiguration without even picking on her about it (much), and how sometimes she felt butterflies flutter in her stomach when he grinned at her – it was different.

And with this new knowledge, she had felt guilty. She wasn't sure why, it wasn't as if her stomach contractions _meant_ anything. But she had a boyfriend, he was the one that was supposed to cheer her up on crappy days, not be one of the main reasons _why _her day was so crappy. And that was when her internal debate had started. She didn't know what was going on. Did he really care for her? Was she better off without him? Did these stupid, insistent flutters mean something?

It was an eventful two weeks for her emotions.

Finally, she came to the decision to do to something about the Jess problem. She couldn't do this to herself anymore. It was masochistic to stay in the relationship, when all it did was make her want to curl up and cry.

She had also decided that the butterflies didn't mean anything. It was ridiculous, really. She was now just waiting for them to leave and take up residence somewhere else.

* * *

**A/N: **So, are we all participating in Jily Secret Santa, or what?


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